From this classic tome, learn everything you need to know to land the corner office:

- How to make money

- How to make more money

- How to choose the right company (one big enough so that nobody knows exactly what anyone else is doing)

- How to cultivate the appearance of extreme busyness through strategic desk management

- How to delegate responsibility (have plenty of assistants!)

First published in 1952, this guide inspired the beloved Pulitzer Prize-winning musical, which returns to Broadway in 2011 in a production that stars Daniel Radcliffe and John Larroquette. Updated with a brilliant new introduction by the king of business satire, Stanley Bing, "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying "is essential reading for the ambitious and the lazy alike.

If business is a hamster wheel, what kind of hamster do "you" want to be? The one who runs all day long, huffing and puffing to keep things turning? Or the sleek and happy rodent who works in the corner office down the hall? Stanley Bing has seen the way the big furballs operate in good times and bad.

Core skills taught in this book:

Delegation
Telling people what to do and having them do it.

Absence
Operating from the digital vacuum.

Abuse of status
It can be done.

Decisiveness
Even when confused.

Engagement
But only when necessary.

Step off the wheel.
Grab this book.
And relax.

The scholarly discipline of Bullshit Studies has blossomed in the last several years, fertilized by a number of critical works on the subject and the growing importance of the issue across a wide range of professions. Now, best-selling author and lifelong practitioner Stanley Bing enters the field with a comprehensive look at the many attractive jobs now available to those who are serious about their bullshit and prepared to dedicate their working life to it.What, Bing inquires, do a feng shui consultant, new media executive, wine steward, department store greeter, and Vice President of the United States have in common? What, too, are the actual duties performed by a McKinsey consultant? Other than sitting around making people nervous? Could that possibly be his core function? Likewise, what does an aromatherapist actually do, per se? Sniff things and rub them on people, for big fragrant bucks? Is that all?The answer in all cases is "Yes." They all have bullshit jobs.These few, of course, are just the beginning. Across the length and breadth of this shrinking globe, skillful bullshit artists have secured pleasant, lucrative employment, and are enjoying themselves more than you are. In virtually every occupation, from Advertising to Yoga Franchising, lucky individuals who "work" in these coveted positions enjoy the best lives imaginable -- they are paid well, they rarely break a sweat, and their professions are highly respected, because nobody really knows what they do.At once funny, useful, and tolerably philosophical, this groundbreaking work takes a close look at 100 bullshit jobs -- the money they bring with them, the actual tasks and activities involved (if any), and famous and successful examples of each position, who will provide the neophyte with inspiration. Most crucially, Bing goes on to offer what others so far have not--a clear, concise strategy to help job-seekers at every level reach for that brass ring, knowing full well that it may be attached to the nose of a bull.

A family business prospers through a series of brutal consolidations and rational growth. Then senseless internal conflicts lead to a long line of demented CEOs, monumental expansion, and foolish diversification at a high cost in shattered lives. In the end, a series of reverse takeovers leaves the once-proud but now overextended and corrupt parent company at the mercy of less-civilized operations that previously cringed at the grandeur of the corporate brand. Enron? WorldCom? Try Rome, whose rise and fall carry a moral that lingers to this day for the managers, employees, and students of any global enterprise. Stanley Bing whose satirical business books are as savagely funny as they are insightful mingles business parable and cautionary tale into an ingenious, often hilarious new telling of the story of the Roman Empire."

We live in a vicious, highly competitive workplace environment, and things aren't getting any better. Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is useless, a fact that has not been recognized by the bloated, tree-hugging Sun Tzu industry, which churns out mushy-gushy pseudo-philosophy for business school types who want to make war and keep their hands clean. "Sun Tzu was a Sissy" will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends, if possible. All military strategies will be explored, from mustering, equipping, organizing, plotting, scheming, rampaging, squashing and reaping spoils. Every other book on the Art of War bows low to Sun Tzu. We're going to tell him to get lost and inform our readers how real war is currently conducted on the battlefield of life.

What Would Machiavelli Do?

• He would feast on other people's discord
• He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either
• He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry
• He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward
• He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control
• He would use other people's opinions to sell his book!

From the mind of the ultimate corporate gunslinger comes this no-nonsense, real-world Curriculum, designed to augment if not replace the more traditional path to achieving mastery of the business universe. Conquer this sharp, practical and often amusing course of study and save $250,000 of wasted business school tuition.

Unlike those august, Ivy-encrusted factories that churn out masterful business administrators, "The Curriculum" will teach you the "art" of business, employing a smart, tactical battle plan that will prove infinitely more awesome as you make your way in the world.

We begin, in the Core Curriculum, with the acquisition and maintenance of Power. Included are such essentials as Not Appearing Stupid (an early career requirement), Fabricating a Sustainable Business Personality, and the arts of Management and Selling.

The Advanced Curriculum hones the skills that are required to seize Success by the throat and shake it until valuable prizes fall out of its pockets, including fundamentals on Strategic Thinking, Self-Branding, mastering Electronic Communications, and dealing with Crazy People.

Tutorials and Electives, which students may pursue as their interest or discretion advises, include lessons on Giving an Effective Presentation, Business Drinking, and the Care and Feeding of Ultra-Senior Officers.

Lavishly enhanced with numerous charts, graphs, and other illuminating business illustrations, and backed up by years of study from Mr. Bing s proprietary research organization (The National Association of Serious Studies), "The Curriculum" will occupy a place of pride on any bookshelf dedicated to the study of business, how it works, and how it can be used against those who don t know how it works."