A corporate mole's-eye view of the society in which we all live and toil, creating one of the most entertaining, thought provoking, and just plain funny bodies of work in contemporary letters. Stanley Bing knows whereof he speaks. He has lived the last two decades working inside a gigantic multinational corporation, kicking and screaming all the way up the ladder. He has seen it all -- mergers, acquisitions, layoffs, the death of the three-martini lunch -- and has himself been painfully re-engineered a number of times. He has eaten and drunk way too much, stayed in hotels far too good for him, waited for limousines in the pouring rain, and enjoyed it all. Sort of. Most importantly, Bing has seen management at its best and worst, and has practiced both as he made the transition from an inexperienced player who hated pompous senior management to a polished strategist who kind of sees its point of view now and then.In one essential volume, here is all you need to know to master your career, your life, and when necessary, other weaker life forms.

From this classic tome, learn everything you need to know to land the corner office:

- How to make money

- How to make more money

- How to choose the right company (one big enough so that nobody knows exactly what anyone else is doing)

- How to cultivate the appearance of extreme busyness through strategic desk management

- How to delegate responsibility (have plenty of assistants!)

First published in 1952, this guide inspired the beloved Pulitzer Prize-winning musical, which returns to Broadway in 2011 in a production that stars Daniel Radcliffe and John Larroquette. Updated with a brilliant new introduction by the king of business satire, Stanley Bing, "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying "is essential reading for the ambitious and the lazy alike.

If an elephant stomps on your head and there is no one around to see it, did it stomp on your head at all?

The answer is yes, if that elephant is your boss. Can anything be done about these enormous, gray, and sometimes smelly beasts? The answer is yes, if you know Business Zen. For thousands of years, Zen masters have plumbed the secrets of the universe while wearing comfortable clothing. Now you, too, can learn the wisdom of the ancients and win valuable prizes.

It may be easier than you dare to imagine. Don't you already spend a good part of your day sitting and thinking about nothing for hours on end? That's Zen! You're already doing it!

In this simple little handbook, Throwing the Elephant, Stanley Bing, the master of Machiavellian meanness, offers the nicest possible way to manipulate one's executive elephant to achieve enlightenment -- and power.

The scholarly discipline of Bullshit Studies has blossomed in the last several years, fertilized by a number of critical works on the subject and the growing importance of the issue across a wide range of professions. Now, best-selling author and lifelong practitioner Stanley Bing enters the field with a comprehensive look at the many attractive jobs now available to those who are serious about their bullshit and prepared to dedicate their working life to it.What, Bing inquires, do a feng shui consultant, new media executive, wine steward, department store greeter, and Vice President of the United States have in common? What, too, are the actual duties performed by a McKinsey consultant? Other than sitting around making people nervous? Could that possibly be his core function? Likewise, what does an aromatherapist actually do, per se? Sniff things and rub them on people, for big fragrant bucks? Is that all?The answer in all cases is "Yes." They all have bullshit jobs.These few, of course, are just the beginning. Across the length and breadth of this shrinking globe, skillful bullshit artists have secured pleasant, lucrative employment, and are enjoying themselves more than you are. In virtually every occupation, from Advertising to Yoga Franchising, lucky individuals who "work" in these coveted positions enjoy the best lives imaginable -- they are paid well, they rarely break a sweat, and their professions are highly respected, because nobody really knows what they do.At once funny, useful, and tolerably philosophical, this groundbreaking work takes a close look at 100 bullshit jobs -- the money they bring with them, the actual tasks and activities involved (if any), and famous and successful examples of each position, who will provide the neophyte with inspiration. Most crucially, Bing goes on to offer what others so far have not--a clear, concise strategy to help job-seekers at every level reach for that brass ring, knowing full well that it may be attached to the nose of a bull.

What Would Machiavelli Do?

• He would feast on other people's discord
• He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either
• He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry
• He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward
• He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control
• He would use other people's opinions to sell his book!

If business is a hamster wheel, what kind of hamster do "you" want to be? The one who runs all day long, huffing and puffing to keep things turning? Or the sleek and happy rodent who works in the corner office down the hall? Stanley Bing has seen the way the big furballs operate in good times and bad.

Core skills taught in this book:

Delegation
Telling people what to do and having them do it.

Absence
Operating from the digital vacuum.

Abuse of status
It can be done.

Decisiveness
Even when confused.

Engagement
But only when necessary.

Step off the wheel.
Grab this book.
And relax.

We live in a vicious, highly competitive workplace environment, and things aren't getting any better. Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is useless, a fact that has not been recognized by the bloated, tree-hugging Sun Tzu industry, which churns out mushy-gushy pseudo-philosophy for business school types who want to make war and keep their hands clean. "Sun Tzu was a Sissy" will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends, if possible. All military strategies will be explored, from mustering, equipping, organizing, plotting, scheming, rampaging, squashing and reaping spoils. Every other book on the Art of War bows low to Sun Tzu. We're going to tell him to get lost and inform our readers how real war is currently conducted on the battlefield of life.

An ancient mogul has bought the power to live forever, but the strong young body he plans to inhabit has other ideas. The battle for immortal life begins in Stanley Bing's "stimulating, satirical and perhaps even visionary novel" (Wall Street Journal). Immortal life. A fantasy, an impossible dream--or is it? The moguls of Big Tech are pouring their mountain of wealth into finding a cure for death and they are determined to succeed. None of these titans is richer than Arthur Vogel. The inventor, tech tycoon, and all-round monster has amassed trillions of dollars and rules over a corporate empire stretching all the way to Mars. The newest--and most expensive--life extension technology has allowed him to live to 127 years, but time is running out. His last hope to escape the inevitable lies with Gene, a human specifically created for the purpose of housing Arthur's consciousness. The plan is to discard his aged body and come to a second life in a young, strong host. But there's a problem: Gene. He may be artificial, but he is a person--and he has other ideas. As Arthur sets off to achieve his goal of world domination, Gene hatches a risky plan of his own. The forces against him are rich, determined, and used to getting what they pay for. The battle between creator and creation is heightened as the two minds wrestle for control of one body. Mixing brisk action, humor, and wicked social commentary, author Stanley Bing has crafted "an engaging and cautionary tale about the direction in which spaceship Earth is hurtling" (USA Today). Welcome to a brave new world that is too familiar for comfort--and watch the struggle for humanity play out to the bitter end.

A family business prospers through a series of brutal consolidations and rational growth. Then senseless internal conflicts lead to a long line of demented CEOs, monumental expansion, and foolish diversification at a high cost in shattered lives. In the end, a series of reverse takeovers leaves the once-proud but now overextended and corrupt parent company at the mercy of less-civilized operations that previously cringed at the grandeur of the corporate brand. Enron? WorldCom? Try Rome, whose rise and fall carry a moral that lingers to this day for the managers, employees, and students of any global enterprise. Stanley Bing whose satirical business books are as savagely funny as they are insightful mingles business parable and cautionary tale into an ingenious, often hilarious new telling of the story of the Roman Empire."

From the mind of the ultimate corporate gunslinger comes this no-nonsense, real-world Curriculum, designed to augment if not replace the more traditional path to achieving mastery of the business universe. Conquer this sharp, practical and often amusing course of study and save $250,000 of wasted business school tuition.

Unlike those august, Ivy-encrusted factories that churn out masterful business administrators, "The Curriculum" will teach you the "art" of business, employing a smart, tactical battle plan that will prove infinitely more awesome as you make your way in the world.

We begin, in the Core Curriculum, with the acquisition and maintenance of Power. Included are such essentials as Not Appearing Stupid (an early career requirement), Fabricating a Sustainable Business Personality, and the arts of Management and Selling.

The Advanced Curriculum hones the skills that are required to seize Success by the throat and shake it until valuable prizes fall out of its pockets, including fundamentals on Strategic Thinking, Self-Branding, mastering Electronic Communications, and dealing with Crazy People.

Tutorials and Electives, which students may pursue as their interest or discretion advises, include lessons on Giving an Effective Presentation, Business Drinking, and the Care and Feeding of Ultra-Senior Officers.

Lavishly enhanced with numerous charts, graphs, and other illuminating business illustrations, and backed up by years of study from Mr. Bing s proprietary research organization (The National Association of Serious Studies), "The Curriculum" will occupy a place of pride on any bookshelf dedicated to the study of business, how it works, and how it can be used against those who don t know how it works."