The classic parody of "The Lord of the Rings" is back With a brand-new "boreword" by Henry Beard.
The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring.
The Power, alrighty, for doing your Own Thing.
If broken or busted, it cannot be remade
If found, send to Sorhed (the postage is prepaid).
It's up to Boggie Frito Bugger and his band of misfits--including inept wizard Goodgulf Grayteeth, halfwit Spam Gangree, twins Moxie and Pepsi, and Arrowroot of Arrowshirt--to carry the Great Ring to Fordor and cast it into the Zazu Pits.
Can they avoid death by hickey tree and escape the dread ballhog? Can the fellowship overcome the narcs and Nozdruls hounding their every move and save Lower Middle Earth once and for all? Yes, of course--this isn't "Hamlet, "you know.

Sometimes childish, sometimes rude, always clever and always very, very funny, this book has delighted most, and outraged a few, Tolkien fans in the US for more than 40 years. Pulling in references to popular culture and fantasy literature as a whole, this is a killingly effective parody of THE LORD OF THE RINGS. From the dreary Goddamn (Gollum) to the feckless Arrowroot (Aragorn), the bungling Goodgulf (Gandalf) to the timid, mean-minded boggies Frito (Frodo) and Dildo (Bilbo), no character is safe. Fleeing the Nozdrul, bored by acid-casualty Tim Benzedrine and harassed throughout by the minions of Sorhed, the fellowship move through a Middle Earth like no other. Short, sharp and very much to the point, even Tolkien would be hard-pressed to surpress a giggle at BORED OF THE RINGS.

"About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him-which I assumed was wildly out of his control-that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. ""
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And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the "Harvard Lampoon"'s hilarious send-up of "Twilight."
Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events-Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!-Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?
Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, "Nightlight "is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

When Aaron Sorkinshield and his band of Little People embark on a totally feasible quest to reclaim the hoard of Academy Awards stolen from them by the lonely Puff the Magic Dragon, senile wizard Dumbledalf suggests an unlikely and completely unqualified accomplice: Billy Bagboy, an unassuming wobbit dwelling in terrorist-riddled Wobbottabad. Along the way, the company faces Internet trolls, moblins, one really big spider that must be at least an inch and a half wide, and worse. But as they journey from the wonders of Livinwell to the terrors of Jerkwood and beyond, Billy will find that there is more to him than anyone-Tolkien included-ever dreamed. Propelled to his destiny by a series of courageous adventures and indented paragraphs, Billy will set out on the greatest YOLO of all time . . . one that leads deep into the dark caverns hiding a mysterious man named Goldstein, who's just trying to have a nice seder.

When you like, live forever, what's there to live for? 'About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.' And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in this hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events - Edwart leaves his hash browns untouched at lunch! - he saves her from a flying snowball and Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behaviour, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the hysterical tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.