|
Showing 1 - 2 of
2 matches in All Departments
A loving but take-no-prisoners (grant them full amnesty) send-up of
the beloved book and television franchise, Lame of Thrones will do
for Game of Thrones what Nightlight and The Hunger Pains did for
Twilight and The Hunger Games, offering fans a way of reentering
the fictional world they have come to love and exploding all of its
conventions-as well as their expectations of the characters-to
hilarious ends. This side-splitting gut-busting laugh-tastic
rib-tickling make-you-laugh ha-ha parody may just even leave you
more satisfied than the actual ending of Game of Thrones. And in
addition to fancy-shmancy satisfaction, this book will also leave
you with something way more important-something no book ever has
been able to achieve: gratuitous sex and violence that is somehow
more graphic than the sex and violence on the TV version of Game of
Thrones. Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several
different extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of
the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a
likely bet, but the untimely murder of him by his own men of the
Night's Crotch has made that seem less likely. However,
Smellisandre, a witch who has the uncannily convenient ability to
bring people back to life is also conveniently located in the same
room as Jon's corpse, so maybe she'll do something about it? Will
Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkakhi captors
and return to conquer the world? Or will she just get left in the
desert for the rest of the books, counting grains of sand? And what
about Jon Dough's siblings Bland Snark, who's off training with the
Pink Eyed Raven, and Malarya Snark, who's off training with the
Tasteless Men? Will they be mentioned? Probably? Almost definitely,
yes? It would be weird if they weren't prominent characters in the
book, you say? To find out, read the book you wish George R.R.
Martin would write, aka the book that brought The Harvard Lampoon
out of publishing retirement-after five years of wandering the
wasteland of the internet-ready to serve parody notice to Game of
Thrones, one of the most popular book and television franchises of
the past two decades.
When you like, live forever, what's there to live for? 'About three
things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my
soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I
assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. And
third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably,
heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had
kissed me.' And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious
and sparkly Edwart Mullen in this hilarious send-up of Twilight.
Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for
adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers
Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls.
After witnessing a number of strange events - Edwart leaves his
hash browns untouched at lunch! - he saves her from a flying
snowball and Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire.
But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into
his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so
repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental
guardianship, creepy stalker-like behaviour, and a vampire prom,
Nightlight is the hysterical tale of a vampire-obsessed girl,
looking for love in all the wrong places.
|
You may like...
It: Chapter 1
Bill Skarsgård
Blu-ray disc
R149
R49
Discovery Miles 490
|