Life's a drag, and nobody knows that better than Bert. Bert wants to write. He also wants to kill himself. He has composed a brilliant suicide note, but so far his attempt at a brilliant suicide is as devoid of success as his writing career. Not wanting to die wondering if his mother will fully comprehend his note, Bert sets out to explain himself - in a footnote. A footnote that keeps growing and growing like a monster wave. Bert carries on living, for now, recounting his string of doomed relationships, and bemoaning his dead-end job in a printing shop, and the fact that he's 34 and still living with his mother. But into the shop walks the mysterious Lelani Balt - Lightning Bolt - and sparks begin to fly. Bert might finally have something to write about.

Five lovely ex-girlfriends; one sweet-talking scoundrel.

“Limerence?” “Limerence, yes. It’s like a drug; like lsd. But you can’t buy it. Or go to jail for taking it. If you’ve got it, enjoy it. Just don’t make any long-term decisions. If you want to know what it is, look it up.”

When Clarissa shook Scout from her life like crumbs from a picnic blanket forty years ago, she hoped she would never ever see him again. But here he is, on the doorstep of her luxe townhouse. She is more than surprised – she is offended – but, against her better judgment, she listens to his story. He regrets, Scout tells her, that they parted on such bad terms. To make amends, he has named her his sole beneficiary in his last will and testament. Look! It says so on page six. Oh, and by the way, could she lend him four hundred thousand bucks?

Months later Clarissa is summoned to a lawyer’s office. She assumes Scout has kicked the bucket and that there will be a reading of his will. But when she arrives, four other women tell her to join the queue. Set in vibrant, ever-changing Joburg, Limerence tracks Scout’s relationships with five remarkable women, from his bygone days of first dates to times of pawpaws hitting fans. Warm-hearted and funny, this is a tale guaranteed to lift the spirits of even the sourest of exes.