Birthdays may be difficult for me.
I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family.
When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me.
I am afraid you will abandon me.
The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.
With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.
Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

"From the Trade Paperback edition."

The Children Money Can Buy covers decades of dramatic societal change in foster care and adoption, including the pendulum swings regarding open adoption and attitudes toward birth parents, the gradual acceptance of gay and lesbian adoption, the proliferation of unregulated adoption facilitators in the U.S., ethical concerns related to international adoption, and the role money inevitably plays in the foster care and adoption systems. Special attention is given to the practice of "baby brokering" and the accompanying exorbitant finder's fees and financial incentives encouraging birth mothers to relinquish (or pretend that they are planning to relinquish) their babies that permeate much of U.S. infant adoption today. The Children Money Can Buy illuminates the worlds of foster care and adoption through the personal stories Moody witnessed and experienced in her many years working in the foster care and adoption systems. These compelling stories about real people and situations illustrate larger life lessons about the way our society values-and fails to value-parents and children. They explore the root of ethical problems which are not only financially driven but reflect society's basic belief that some children are more valuable than others. Finally, Moody makes a plea for change and gives suggestions about how the foster care and adoption systems could work together for the benefit of children and families.

As an adoptee, do you have mixed feelings about your adoption? If you do, you are not alone - adoptees often experience complex feelings of grief, anger, and questions about their identity. Sherrie Eldridge is an adoptee and adoption expert, and in this book she draws on her personal experiences and feelings relating to adoption as well as interviews with over 70 adoptees. Sherrie reveals how you can discover your own unique life purpose and worth, and sets out 20 life-transforming choices which you have the power to make. The choices will help you discover answers about issues such as: Why do I feel guilty when I think about my birth parents? Why can't I talk about the painful aspects of adoption? Where can I gain an unshakable sense of self-esteem? Sherrie also addresses the problem of depression among adoptees and common dilemmas such as if, when and how to contact a birth mother or father. This fully updated second edition includes new material on finding support online, contacting family through social media, and features three new chapters, including Sherrie's story of reuniting with her birth brother, Jon, in adulthood.

Capturing the warmth and fun of forming close relationships with children, this book offers simple advice to parents of children who find it difficult to attach and bond - whether following adoption, divorce or other difficult experiences. Attachment therapist Deborah D. Gray describes how to use the latest thinking on attachment in your daily parenting. She reveals sensory techniques which have proven to help children bond - straightforward activities like keeping close eye contact or stroking a child's feet or cheeks - and explains why routines like mealtimes and play time are so important in helping children to attach. The book offers positive ideas for responding to immediate crises like difficult behaviour and meltdowns, but importantly also offers longer-term strategies to help children to develop the skills they need to cope as they grow up - the ability to plan, concentrate and be in control of their emotions. Offering fascinating insights into how children who struggle to attach can be helped, this book is full of easy-to-use ideas which will help you to enjoy the many pleasures of bonding and attaching with your child.

A child is coming - whether you approve or not it's time to get with the program! If someone you care about - a family member, co-worker, or close friend - has recently announced that their family will be growing through adoption, you may have questions. After all, unless you have personally experienced adoption, you may know very little about how adoption works and what it means. Are you worried that your loved one may face disappointment? Do you find yourself wondering exactly what your role is going to be in the child's life? Does the term "open adoption" confuse and concern you? Just what are the privacy boundaries for families built by adoption: what is it okay to ask about? Adoption Is a Family Affair! will answer all of these questions and more, offering you information about who can adopt, why people consider adopting, how kids understand adoption as they grow up, and more. This short book is crammed full of the 'need to know' information for friends and families that will help to encourage informed, happy and healthy family relationships.

Toddler Adoption looks at the unique joys and challenges of adopting and parenting a toddler. When a child aged is adopted between the ages of 12 to 36 months, they often show signs of cognitive and emotional immaturity, which can cause behavioral and relational issues. This book offers support and practical tools to help parents prepare for and support the toddler's transition between the familiar environment of their biological parent's home or foster home to a new and unfamiliar one, and considers the issues that arise at different developmental stages. It highlights the challenges that parents are likely to encounter, but also gives positive guidance on how to overcome them. Written by a specialist in children's development who is also an adoptive parent herself, this fully revised and updated edition of the go-to-source on adopting toddlers is essential reading for both parents and professionals working with adoptive families.

Attaching in Adoption is a comprehensive guide for prospective and actual adoptive parents on how to understand and care for their adopted child and promote healthy attachment. This classic text provides practical parenting strategies designed to enhance children's happiness and emotional health. It explains what attachment is, how grief and trauma can affect children's emotional development, and how to improve attachment, respect, cooperation and trust. Parenting techniques are matched to children's emotional needs and stages, and checklists are included to help parents assess how their child is doing at each developmental stage. The book covers a wide range of issues including international adoption, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, and learning disabilities, and combines sound theory and direct advice with case examples throughout. This book is a must read for anyone interested in adoption and for all adoptive families. It will also be a valuable resource for adoption professionals.

Therapeutic parenting is not your usual parenting style. It's a special, specific way to raise kids who have experienced trauma in their past, and requires a lot of commitment and determination - this is about far more than love and care. But where do you start? This book is the ideal first step for anyone who wants to understand how therapeutic parenting works. It offers simple summaries of the key ideas behind it, fully illustrated throughout with informative cartoons and graphics. Over 40 different issues are covered, from dysregulation and fear, to setting boundaries and parenting in the midst of trauma. The perfect introduction for new therapeutic parents, family members, teachers or other adults who need to help support you and your child, this Quick Guide will also be a source of inspiration for more experienced parents.

When life looks radically different than the plan we have for ourselves, it's the lucky few that recognize God's plan is best. That's what adoptive mom Heather Avis learned, and that's the invitation of this book. As the mother of three adopted children - two with Down syndrome - Heather Avis has learned that it's truly the lucky few who get to live a life like hers, who actually recognize that God's plans are best, even when they seem so radically different from the plans we have for ourselves. When Heather started her journey into parenthood she never thought it would look like this, never planned to have three adopted children, and certainly never imagined that two of them would have Down syndrome. But like most things God does, once she stepped into the craziness and confusion that comes with the unknown and the unplanned, she realized that they were indeed among the lucky few. Discover in this book what 70,000+ followers of Heather's hit Instagram account @macymakesmyday already know: the power of faith and family can help us stay strong in the toughest times. This book will also be especially touching to those with adopted family members or children with Down syndrome in their lives.

* What are attachment difficulties? * How do they affect children? * How can you help? This book provides clear and concise answers to these important questions - and more. Much more than just a simple introduction to the subject of attachment, the book is also full of advice and practical ideas you can try. It tackles some challenging questions, such as 'what is the difference between trauma and attachment?', and explains how having an understanding of attachment is only part of the overall picture when it comes to caring for traumatized children. It is an essential read for any adult parenting or caring for a child who has experienced attachment difficulties.

This book presents a committed quest to unravel and document the postwar adoption networks that placed more than 3,000 Greek children in the United States, in a movement accelerated by the aftermath of the Greek Civil War and by the new conditions of the global Cold War. Greek-to-American adoptions and, regrettably, also their transactions and transgressions, provided the blueprint for the first large-scale international adoptions, well before these became a mass phenomenon typically associated with Asian children. The story of these Greek postwar and Cold War adoptions, whose procedures ranged from legal to highly irregular, has never been told or analyzed before. Adoption, Memory, and Cold War Greece answers the important questions: How did these adoptions from Greece happen? Was there any money involved? Humanitarian rescue or kid pro quo? Or both? With sympathy and perseverance, Gonda Van Steen has filled a decades-long gap in our understanding, and provided essential information to the hundreds of adoptees and their descendants whose lives are still affected today.

A Sunday Times bestseller, Terrified is the first book from well-loved foster carer Angela Hart. It tells the emotionally devastating but ultimately uplifting true story of Vicky, a little girl who arrives on Angela's doorstep unwanted and unloved after suffering years of emotional abuse at the hands of her mother. Desperate never to return home, Vicky is haunted by many demons and waking nightmares. This book tells the moving story of Angela's determination to set Vicky free. 'A no holds barred insight into the reality of looking after someone else's children. A remarkable story from a remarkable woman, it brought back a lot of memories for me.' - Casey Watson, author of A Dark Secret. 'A moving story that testifies to the redemptive power of love. I hope Angela Hart inspires many others to foster.' - Torey Hayden, author of Lost Child.

In the thirty-five years since China instituted its One-Child Policy, 120,000 children--mostly girls--have left China through international adoption, including 85,000 to the United States. It's generally assumed that this diaspora is the result of China's approach to population control, but there is also the underlying belief that the majority of adoptees are daughters because the One-Child Policy often collides with the traditional preference for a son. While there is some truth to this, it does not tell the full story--a story with deep personal resonance to Kay Ann Johnson, a China scholar and mother to an adopted Chinese daughter. Johnson spent years talking with the Chinese parents driven to relinquish their daughters during the brutal birth-planning campaigns of the 1990s and early 2000s, and, with China's Hidden Children, she paints a startlingly different picture. The decision to give up a daughter, she shows, is not a facile one, but one almost always fraught with grief and dictated by fear. Were it not for the constant threat of punishment for breaching the country's stringent birth-planning policies, most Chinese parents would have raised their daughters despite the cultural preference for sons. With clear understanding and compassion for the families, Johnson describes their desperate efforts to conceal the birth of second or third daughters from the authorities. As the Chinese government cracked down on those caught concealing an out-of-plan child, strategies for surrendering children changed--from arranging adoptions or sending them to live with rural family to secret placement at carefully chosen doorsteps and, finally, abandonment in public places. In the twenty-first century, China's so-called abandoned children have increasingly become "stolen" children, as declining fertility rates have left the dwindling number of children available for adoption more vulnerable to child trafficking. In addition, government seizures of locally--but illegally--adopted children and children hidden within their birth families mean that even legal adopters have unknowingly adopted children taken from parents and sent to orphanages. The image of the "unwanted daughter" remains commonplace in Western conceptions of China. With China's Hidden Children, Johnson reveals the complex web of love, secrecy, and pain woven in the coerced decision to give one's child up for adoption and the profound negative impact China's birth-planning campaigns have on Chinese families.

A pause. 'Ah, Herr Fergusson. It's Frau Schwenk.' Our social worker, I now understood. 'Thank you for getting back to me. I'm calling because we have a little boy, four weeks old, who needs a family.' In 2018, after the introduction of marriage equality in Germany, Ben Fergusson and his German husband Tom became one of the first same-sex married couples to adopt in the country. In Tales from the Fatherland Fergusson reflects on his long journey to fatherhood and the social changes that enabled it. He uses his outsider status as both a gay father and a parent adopting in a foreign country to explore the history and sociology of fatherhood and motherhood around the world, queer parenting and adoption and, ultimately, the meaning of family and love. Tales from the Fatherland makes an impassioned case for the value of diversity in family life, arguing that diverse families are good for all families and that misogyny lies at the heart of many of the struggles of straight and queer families alike.

This is the go-to guide for practitioners, parents and carers who want to expand their understanding and skills for therapeutic parenting - a deeply nurturing parenting style particularly effective for children who have experienced trauma or adversity. It provides an easy to understand explanation of the latest theory and research in trauma and neuroscience, and explains how these relate to everyday parenting strategies. It provides clarity on complex areas, such as early developmental trauma in children, and insights into key challenges, including managing transitions, sibling relationships, challenging behaviour, the teenage years, and how to find time and space for self-care. With experience, professional expertise, and text features to aid learning throughout, this book is the one-stop shop for everyone wanting to truly understand every aspect of therapeutic parenting and trauma.

On the day that she decided to marry a widower-also a long-time friend-Betsy Graziani Fasbinder knew that she wasn't only gaining a husband, she was inheriting a son. Unlike many stepmothers, Betsy didn't have to struggle with an ex, or court battles, or the weekend shuffle between houses-but she did have to navigate living in the shadow of a young mother taken too soon, to honor the memory of her son's first mother, and to become the kind of parent and partner she herself wanted to be. Over time this family would learn how love's roots were formed in their shared losses, and how the new family love and joy they created together would become the richest kind of inheritance.

Hilarious and heartwarming stories that will empower you to make space for the other and discover the extraordinary, welcoming heart of God. Author and Instagram star Heather Avis has made it her mission to introduce the world to the unique gifts and real-life challenges of those who have been pushed to the edges of society. Mama to three adopted kids--two with Down Syndrome--Heather encourages us all to take a breath, whisper a prayer, laugh a little, and make room for the wildflowers. In a world of divisions and margins, those who act, look, and grow a little differently are all too often shoved aside. Scoot Over and Make Some Room is part inspiring narrative and part encouraging challenge for us all to listen and learn from those we're prone to ignore. Heather tells hilarious stories of her growing kids, spontaneous dance parties, forgotten pants, and navigating the challenges and joys of parenthood. She shares heartbreaking moments when her kids were denied a place at the table and when she had to fight for their voices to be heard. With beautiful wisdom and profound convictions, this manifesto will empower you to notice who's missing in the spaces you live in, to make room for your own kids and for those others who need you and your open heart. This is your invitation to a table where space is unlimited and every voice can be heard. Because when you open your life to the wild beauty of every unique individual, you'll discover your own colorful soul and the extraordinary, abundant heart of God.