On an MTV special aired in 2000, young interviewees were asked to
confess the worse thing they were ever told during a romantic
breakup. One person tearfully responded "that I suck in bed. " More
recently, an acquaintance of mine admitted to his new girlfriend
that he "has a mean streak. " She decided not to date him after
that. Another memorable and painful example of openness occurred
years ago when I served as a member of a suicide intervention team.
I was called to a very disturbing scene in an upscale neighborhood
to console a woman who was threaten ing to take her life on the
lawn in front of her children. Her husband had just confessed his
long-term affair to her that morning and she felt that her world
was coming apart. Fortunately, she did not take her life but was
left with the humiliation of haVing her neighbors know about her
private troubles. The question these examples bring to mind is,
"Why do people so often reveal potentially stigmatizing personal
information to others?" The reader probably has an intuitive answer
to this question already. It can seem like such a burden-even
torture-to keep secrets from other people. Hiding such things as
feelings of discontent from a boyfriend or girlfriend, violations
of the law from close friends, and indiscretions from employers can
be alienating. People want others to know them; therefore they
often end up disclosing self-incriminating information."
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