In love but worlds apart is a self-help workbook for today's adult
man and woman from two different cultural backgrounds who are
considering, or who have already begun, a marriage partnership with
each other. To make such a relationship successful, the authors
maintain that a feeling of love is not enough. They show how
various aspects of cultural differences can be problematic and
sometimes fatal to the relationship, unless certain conditions are
met. The conditions are, among some, that the partners become
reasonably more and more mature (according to the specific
definition of maturity offered in this book), willing and able to
think and to talk about their cultural differences (such as in
manners, values, worldview, holidays and other customs), learn to
understand and respect those differences, find solutions to their
conflicts and discover enough things they can celebrate and enjoy
together. The book helps partners think through vital topics of
differences they must face eventually, such as their differing
family backgrounds, expectations, tastes, values, worldview, as
well as their future country or place of residence. The pervading
metaphor throughout the book is of two artists who commit to
producing a life-time project of artwork together, using their
differing skills, communication styles, colors, craft paint, tools,
and canvas. Just as these artists bring their various backgrounds
and supplies to the task, each partner in a committed marriage
relationship contributes his or her preferences (values, worldview,
customs, etc) and ways of communicating. Questions to think and
talk about, which are cited throughout the book, are again listed
in the back of the book for copying and giving to the partner to
use. A list of possible priorities of choice, also in the back, can
be used any of three ways: (1) to help the reader determine whether
a long-term partnership with a particular person from another
culture would really suit or not, or (2), to test to see how well
each partner knows the other, and (3) to make an inventory of the
things the partners have in common or enjoy about each other. The
book ends with a suggested reading list. For couples who have
already begun or decided on an intercultural marriage, reading and
doing this book may lessen their shock and frustrations and lead
them into a more positive experience. For those who are not yet
sure about committing themselves to such a relationship for life,
we hope this book provides help in making a wise decision.
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