Toddlers can drive you bonkers...so adorable and fun one
minute...so stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable
as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of "nos" and
"don'ts" into "yeses" and hugs...if you know how to speak your
toddler's language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting
techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp reveals that
toddlers, with their immature brains and stormy outbursts, should
be thought of not as pint-size people but as pintsize...cavemen.
Having noticed that the usual techniques often failed to calm
crying toddlers, Dr. Karp discovered that the key to effective
communication was to speak to them in their own primitive language.
When he did, suddenly he was able to soothe their outbursts almost
every time! This amazing success led him to the realization that
children between the ages of one and four go through four stages of
"evolutionary" growth, each linked to the development of the brain,
and each echoing a step in prehistoric humankind's journey to
civilization: - The "Charming Chimp-Child" (12 to 18 months):
Wobbles around on two legs, grabs everything in reach, plays a
nonstop game of "monkey see monkey do."- The "Knee-High
Neanderthal" (18 to 24 months): Strong-willed, fun-loving, messy,
with a vocabulary of about thirty words, the favorites being "no"
and "mine."- The "Clever Caveman" (24 to 36 months): Just beginning
to learn how to share, make friends, take turns, and use the
potty.- The "Versatile Villager" (36 to 48 months): Loves to tell
stories, sing songs and dance, while trying hard to behave.To speak
to these children, Dr. Karp has developed two extraordinarily
effective techniques: 1) The "fastfood" rule -- restating what your
child has said to make sure you got it right; 2) The four-step rule
-- using gesture, repetition, simplicity, and tone to help your
irate Stone-Ager be happy again.Once you've mastered "toddler-ese,"
you will be ready to apply behavioral techniques specific to each
stage of your child's development, such as teaching patience and
calm, doing time-outs (and time-ins), praise through "gossiping,"
and many other strategies. Then all the major challenges of the
toddler years -- including separation anxiety, sibling rivalry,
toilet training, night fears, sleep problems, picky eating, biting
and hitting, medicine taking -- can be handled in a way that will
make your toddler feel understood. The result: fewer tantrums, less
yelling, and, best of all, more happy, loving time for you and your
child.
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