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How Humans Relate - A New Interpersonal Theory (Hardcover, New)
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How Humans Relate - A New Interpersonal Theory (Hardcover, New)
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From the time we are born we never stop relating, just as our
hearts never stop beating. Relating is a characteristic which
humans share with all animal forms and any classification of human
relating ought to exist in continuity with, and be derivable from,
that of the relating of all other animal forms. Relating occurs
along two main axes. The one concerned with distance regulation,
the other with the adjustment of the power differential. People
need both distance and closeness and both to hold power and to rely
upon those who have power. It is argued that all the main forms of
relating are organized around these four needs. Interrelating is
the process by which people attempt to reconcile their respective
relating needs. A central feature of the book is the distinction it
draws between positive (constructive) relating and negative
(destructive) relating. People need to acquire competencies in each
of these four spheres of relating so that they may attain and feel
secure in the four respective states of relatedness. Those who lack
such competencies relate desperately and disrespectfully and this,
it is argued, forms the basis of personality disorders and
psychiatric diagnoses. The idea that negative relating is an
extreme form of positive relating is discounted.
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