My parents always told me I was Mexican. I was Mexican because they
were Mexican. This was sometimes modified to "Mexican American,"
since I was born in California, and thus automatically a U.S.
citizen. But, my parents said, this, too, was once part of Mexico.
My father would say this with a sweeping gesture, taking in the
smog, the beautiful mountains, the cars and houses and fast-food
franchises. When he made that gesture, all was cleared away in my
mind's eye to leave the hazy impression of a better place. We were
here when the white people came, the Spaniards, then the Americans.
And we will be here when they go away, he would say, and it will be
part of Mexico again. Thus begins a lyrical and entirely absorbing
collection of personal essays by esteemed Chicana writer and gifted
storyteller Kathleen Alcal . Loosely linked by an exploration of
the many meanings of "family," these essays move in a broad arc
from the stories and experiences of those close to her to those
whom she wonders about, like Andrea Yates, a mother who drowned her
children. In the process of digging and sifting, she is frequently
surprised by what she unearths. Her family, she discovers, were
Jewish refugees from the Spanish Inquisition who took on the
trappings of Catholicism in order to survive. Although the essays
are in many ways personal, they are also universal. When she
examines her family history, she is encouraging us to inspect our
own families, too. When she investigates a family secret, she is
supporting our own search for meaning. And when she writes that
being separated from our indigenous culture is "a form of
illiteracy," we know exactly what she means. After reading these
essays, we find thatwe have discovered not only why Kathleen Alcal
is a writer but also why we appreciate her so much. She helps us to
find ourselves.
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