"If anyone can prevent even a single child or teenager from
repeating the mistakes described in this book... or help a loved
one or family member avoid unnecessary future suffering... then my
struggles will not have been in vain." Imagine being arrested,
handcuffed and locked behind the bars of a dark, cold, jail cell.
The next day you are forcibly dragged to a downtown high-rise and
thrust into a 4'x 8' steel-walled cage. Your freedom has been
ripped away, even though you haven't been charged with a single
crime. The prison guard tells you, "They are going to lock you up
and throw away the key " You are driven to an insane asylum where a
psychiatrist orders mandatory shock treatments. You are strapped to
a gurney, electrodes are stuck to your temples, and a rubber
mouthpiece is forced between your teeth. When the first electric
voltages pass through your brain, your heart stops. You are
revived, then given a series of nine more ECT treatments without
anesthesia. Each one feels like a sledge hammer to your head. Your
memories fade into a fog. You remain confined indoors and drugged
for months... all because you were misdiagnosed as a drug-induced
paranoid schizophrenic. As it turns out, you are actually bi-polar
with claustrophobia The torture of your confinement, the shock
therapy, and being forced to take massive daily doses of the wrong
medication leaves you obsessed with suicide. While locked away,
your father dies and your girlfriend abandons you. Then one day you
are released and simply told to "Have a nice life " Substance abuse
soon changes your obsession into a compulsion... one that leaves
the blood squirting from your wrist as cold as the dirt you're
lying in, while waiting to die. This is a review by Priscilla
Estes, The US Review of Books: "Below are my five recommendations
to avoid going insane and to avoid insuring that you become some
kind of worthless, pathetic, immoral, blubbering idiot in the
future." "The cover shows an adorable pre-school cowboy clutching
matching six-shooters and grinning at the camera. The Roy Rogers
image belies the misery on the pages that follow. What started as a
private, therapeutic journal steamrolled into an honest account of
a life derailed by grief, drugs, and addictive relationships.
Barger does not apologize, make excuses or ask forgiveness... He
merely tells it... callous accounts of womanizing and angry
outbursts are sometimes uncomfortable to read... The book is a
brave chronicle of how not to live and admonishes readers to follow
their bliss, go for their dreams, and never give up." Priscilla
Estes is a writer from Yardley, Pennsylvania. An Independent
Writing and Editing Professional and Director of Christian Life
Center and Activities, she was on the faculty of ETSU for
twenty-four years. She has authored and co-authored a number of
successful publications including "New Orleans Swamp Romp" and
"Take Me to The River." A Texas '2-stepper' who grew up in a local
rural community of Maryland near Washington College, Priscilla
previously lived in Antwerp, Belgium for two years. *(Notice to
literary agents, publishers and producers: all applicable rights
are open for bid. Contact information is available at the end of
the book.)
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