Confronted with a betrayal of intimacy, the couple s relationship
is in an extremely fragile state; the damage is often irreparable.
In these trying circumstances, couples need an effective and
confident therapist. Yet, cases of infidelity are notoriously
difficult to treat. Therapists often approach this problem with
apprehension, uncertainty, and a lack of confidence about what to
do. The emotional and intellectual resources of the most skilled
practitioner are severely taxed by the needs of the couple in
crisis. In Treating Infidelity, Weeks, Gambescia, and Jenkins
provide therapists and counselors with concepts, insights, and
therapeutic plans that will allow them to work effectively with
couples undergoing a crisis of broken intimacy. The authors address
this severe therapeutic challenge with a comprehensive and
inter-systematic approach that carefully considers the concerns of
the couple, the partners as individuals, and the role of the
therapist. Because it is a relationship problem, infidelity
requires a flexible clinical regimen combining elements of
individual and conjoint therapy within a systemic orientation. The
authors have long used just such a regimen in their own clinical
work with clients experiencing relational and sexual dysfunctions.
Treating Infidelity presents the insights and organization of this
successful clinical model, and provides a systematic and powerful
way for couples to repair and recover from an affair. The
multifaceted phenomenon of infidelity is explored in rich detail.
The authors offer a conceptual framework that accounts for the
varied contributing factors, common presentations, and the numerous
consequences of infidelity. The heart of the book is concerned with
recognizing when a breach in the couple s agreement about
exclusivity has occurred and assisting the couple in achieving the
goal of forgiveness. Relying on their novel empirically-based
approach, the authors demonstrate how forgiveness can be attained
even in the most difficult cases where shame, accusatory suffering,
anger, or fear can obstruct resolution. Moreover, Treating
Infidelity addresses the conditions necessary for establishing the
level and quality of communication that maintains a deep sense of
intimacy between partners. The core of this powerful but flexible
clinical approach is the understanding that there are various forms
of intimacy (e.g., sexual, emotional, intellectual) and significant
variations in what constitutes a breach of intimacy. Today,
infidelity constitutes a more expansive category than adultery or
extramarital sex. It includes any form of betrayal to the implied
or stated contract between couples regarding intimate exclusivity,
such as cybersex and other forms of Internet infidelity. In fact,
as the contexts, forms, and consequences of infidelity grow more
complex, therapists and counselors need the sort of systematic but
flexible approach found in Treating Infidelity. The experience and
circumstances of infidelity are unique to each couple. The authors
demonstrate this necessary flexibility in their approach and convey
how therapists must place the personal experience of clients at the
center of treatment."
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