When Nula's husband James, an Irish documentary filmmaker, becomes
forgetful they put it down to the stress of his work. But his
behavior becomes more erratic and inexplicable, and he is
eventually diagnosed as suffering from Pick's Disease, an early
onset and aggressive form of dementia. Suddenly their lives change,
and Nula is forced to watch as her beloved husband is gradually
taken away from her, their story moving through unexplainable
behaviour, the shock of diagnosis, coping with the ongoing illness,
not coping with the illness, to the indignities of care home life.
The Longest Farewell is a moving description of James' utter mental
and physical deterioration, and the effect that it had both on him
and on the people from whom he was involuntarily retreating,
particularly Nula, who gives up her international practice as an
interior designer to care for him. Her life is completely taken
over by James' illness: her frustration at trying to cope, her
guilt at having to hand over his care to professionals in England,
are just part of her at times harrowing story. With James in care
and left with seemingly little to do but wait for his death, Nula
meets Bonnie, another resident at the care home suffering from the
same condition. In a remarkable twist of fate, she in turn meets
Bonnie's husband, the broadcaster John Suchet and the similarity of
their positions becomes a bond between them. As they help each
other to cope with the dreadful, bewildering loss they are both
experiencing, gradually and inevitably, the bond between them
becomes stronger and after some guilt induced false starts, Nula's
story takes a bitter-sweet turn: they become partners, and
eventually marry. A unique story of friendship and love, distress,
pain, and ultimate joy. Nula has chronicled her journey in the hope
that anyone whose life is blighted with dementia can know that the
tunnel they feel enclosed by need never be totally closed. The
Longest Farewell is a heartfelt yet inspiring account of dealing
with dementia, and of unexpectedly finding a happy ending.
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