Against My Better Judgment: An Intimate Memoir of an Eminent Gay
Psychologist is an extraordinary and moving account of the life of
a gay man in his late 60s after he loses his companion of 40 years
to cancer. A leading professor of psychology at Harvard University,
Roger Brown bravely comes forth with his compelling story of grief,
loneliness, and a relentless search for intimacy, healing, and
self-acceptance. Readers gain insight into a stage of life
experienced by gay men of which little is written or spoken due to
the ageism that characterizes homosexual culture. Against My Better
Judgment reveals deeply personal truths that will prepare gay men
for what to expect in the later stages of life. Universal in
nature, these truths will speak to readers from various lifestyles
and of all ages. Readers will recognize the book as a story of
looking for love in all the wrong places, but will also see in it a
process of discovery--both internal and external. In the aftermath
of his lover's death, Brown turns to prostitutes for companionship,
for relieving repressed sexual energy, and even for love. Through
his unique relationships with three young men, he does not find the
romantic love he so desperately seeks, but discovers that his idea
of human nature has been formed by his particular life position and
association with people who share his values, knowledge, and
privileges. Once he goes outside his social and intellectual
circle, he acquires a new perspective on life and realizes how far
from universal truth his notions of humanity have been.Readers of
Against My Better Judgment will gain a different perspective on the
complexities of love, relationships, fidelity, human nature, and
the hardships of life inevitably faced by all humans--straight,
gay, or bisexual. Gay men, lesbians, psychologists, widowers,
therapists, and anthropologists, as well as sensitive readers of
any background, will heighten their understanding of what it means
to be human. This remarkable story makes a tremendous contribution
to existing gay literature and the timeless struggle of art and
literature to make sense of the universe and the place of humans
within it. Echoing life, Against My Better Judgment, with its
brutal honesty, intrigues and repels alternately, just as it
elicits both sadness and laughter.
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