This book features eleven first-person stories of men from diverse
class and racial backgrounds who have made a long-term commitment
to end their physical and emotional abuse and controlling
behaviors. These men speak frankly about the abuse they inflicted
on their families, what it took to get them to face themselves, and
how they feel about the damage they have caused. All participated
in violence intervention programs, some for as long as ten years.
To put a face on violence and to encourage activism for reform,
most of the eleven have allowed their photos and real names to be
used in the book.
Surrounding this material are chapters that provide context about
the disputes among researchers about whether batterer intervention
programs work (only a small number of batterers renounce their
abuse) and chapters that address the reactions of partners to these
stories. "When the Man You Love is Abusive" is designed to caution
women not to be manipulated by accounts of change and to outline
the stages men need to pass through in the long process of becoming
accountable. "The Last Word: Voices of Survivors" ends the book
with a focus group discussion in which former abuse victims and
advocates respond candidly to the men's stories.
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