Xoliswa Nduneni-Ngema loved the theatre and dreamed of being an actress. She soon discovered that acting wasn't for her – managing productions was. She meets rising-star, Mbongeni Ngema and they marry.  As his success grows, they start a company that births the hit Sarafina! But beneath the stardom, Xoliswa experiences constant abuse.  With Fred Khumalo, she tells her powerful story. 

Bart, die aantreklikste ou in haar matriekklas, soen Esli uit haar vel. Vir meer as veertig jaar deel hulle hul lewens, maak saam kinders groot en sien om na vriende en familie. Jaarliks vier hulle Kersfees in Kleinmond met geskenke en trifle en stappies langs die see met hul worshond.

Maar hoekom val Bart se broer uit ’n boom voor Esli se ouerhuis? En watter donker geheim is onderliggend aan Bart se ma se vreemde gedrag en onfatsoenlike grappe? Wat dink kollegas van Esli se haarstyleksperimente en panda-oë? Verdien sy om in die spaarkamer te skuil omdat sy, volgens Bart, aand na aand die kos brand en die hond se pote laat nat word as dit reën?

In So Lyk ’n Vrou vertel Ilse Verster van Esli se heelwording en hoe sy, ná ’n leeftyd van mishandeling, in ’n rooi rok op die strand kon staan met een vuis in die lug en vry kon voel. Sy gee stem aan ’n stukkende vrou wat net wil hê die pyn moet stop. Sy deel wat dit verg om jou teen die muur op te trek, jou teen die samelewing te handhaaf en jouself te red.

When South Africa’s golden girl of broadcasting, Tracy Going’s battered face was splashed across the media back in the late 1990s, the nation was shocked. South Africans had become accustomed to seeing Going, glamorous and groomed on television or hearing her resonant voice on Radio Metro and Kaya FM. Sensational headlines of a whirlwind love relationship turned horrendously violent threw the “perfect” life of the household star into disarray.

What had started off as a fairy-tale romance with a man who appeared to be everything that Going was looking for – charming, handsome and successful – had quickly descended into a violent, abusive relationship.

“As I stood before him all I could see were the lies, the disappearing for days without warning, the screaming, the threats, the terror, the hostage-holding, the keeping me up all night, the dragging me through the house by my hair, the choking, the doors locked around me, the phones disconnected, the isolation, the fear and the uncertainty.”

The rosy love cloud burst just five months after meeting her “Prince Charming” when she staggered into the local police station, bruised and battered. A short relationship became a two-and-a-half-year legal ordeal played out in the public eye. In mesmerising detail, Going takes us through the harrowing court process – a system seeped in injustice – her decline into depression, the immediate collapse of her career due to the highly public nature of her assault and the decades-long journey to undo the psychological damages in the search for safety and the reclaiming of self. The roots of violence form the backdrop of the book, tracing Going’s childhood on a plot in Brits, laced with the unpredictable violence of an alcoholic father who regularly terrorised the family with his fists of rage.

“I was ashamed of my father, the drunk. If he wasn’t throwing back the liquid in the lounge then he’d be finding comfort and consort in his cans at the golf club. With that came the uncertainty as I lay in my bed and waited for him to return. I would lie there holding my curtain tight in my small hand. I would pull the fabric down, almost straight, forming a strained sliver and I would peer into the blackness, unblinking. It seemed I was always watching and waiting. Sometimes I searched for satellites between the twinkles of light, but mostly the fear in my tummy distracted me.”

Brilliantly penned, this highly skilled debut memoir, is ultimately uplifting in the realisation that healing is a lengthy and often arduous process and that self-forgiveness and acceptance is essential in order to fully embrace life.

She was confident, beautiful and financially secure. When she arrived in London with her daughter the future looked bright and she was hoping for a lasting, mature relationship. But within days, things started to go wrong. Was he manipulating her? Maybe it was all in her head? She started a diary, evidence to reassure herself that she wasn’t going mad. This is the true story of a strong, independent woman's descent into abuse, and how she eventually escaped.

The perfect match. Or so she thinks. Her warmth and empathy. His charisma and ambition. Yet, Cathy feels safer teaching battle-scarred gangsters in a prison classroom than at home with her own partner.

By day she walks on eggshells. At night she sleeps on the backseat of her car. Her safe place is an all-night roadhouse; her best friend, her journal. The slow boil intensifies until, one day, Cathy finds her grandmother’s armoire smashed to pieces in her bedroom, a hammer on the floor, her life in splinters beside it.

Part memoir, part inspiration, Boiling A Frog Slowly is unflinching in its confrontation of abuse and utterly courageous in its portrayal of redemption.

"Warm, honest and true--A Woman Makes A Plan is full of insight as well as a good dose of humor, offering readers a lifetime of hard-won advice." --Diane Von Furstenberg The international supermodel shares personal stories and lessons learned from a life of "living dangerously--carefully"

Maye Musk is a fashionable, charming, jet-setting supermodel with a fascinating and tight-knit circle of family and friends--and is 71 years old. But things were not always so easy or glamorous--she became a single mom at 31, struggling through poverty to provide for her three children; dealt with weight issues as a plus-size model and overcame ageism in the modeling industry; and established a lifelong career as a respected dietitian, all the while starting over in eight different cities across three countries and two continents. But she made her way through it all with an indomitable spirit and a no-nonsense attitude to become a global success at what she calls the "prime of her life."

As everyone who follows her obsessively on social media knows, Maye is a fount of frank and practical advice on how the choices you make in every decade can pay off in surprising, exciting ways throughout your life. In A Woman Makes a Plan, Maye shares experiences from her life conveying hard-earned wisdom on career (the harder you work, the luckier you get), family (let the people you love go their own way), health (there is no magic pill), and adventure (make room for discovery, but always be ready for anything). You can't control all that happens in life, but you can have the life you want at any age. All you have to do is make a plan.

Every day more than three women in South Africa, on average, are murdered by their male intimate partners. This book looks at the stories of South African women who were subjected to unimaginable periods of fear and terror, who endured sustained physical, emotional and psychological attacks, all at the hands of men.

Dr Nechama Brodie explores decades of brutal domestic violence and coercive control and she examines women’s changing rights and current legal protections.

A fusion of conversations, observations, and personal reflections on his own experiences, work with men, and scholarship, Why Men Hurt Women and Other Reflections on Love, Violence and Masculinity is Kopano Ratele’s meditation on love, violence and masculinity.

This book seeks to imagine the possibility of a more loving masculinity in a society where structural violence, failures of government and economic inequality underpin much of the violent behaviour that men display. Enriched with personal reflections on his own experiences as a partner, father, psychologist and researcher in the field of men and masculinities, Why Men Hurt Women and Other Reflections on Love, Violence and Masculinity is Kopano Ratele’s meditation on love and violence, and the way these forces shape the emotional lives of boys and men.

Blending academic substance and rigour in a readable narrative style, Ratele illuminates the complex nuances of gender, intimacy and power in the context of the human need for love and care. While unsparing in its analysis of men’s inner lives, Ratele lays out a path for addressing the hunger for love in boys and men. He argues that just as the beliefs and practices relating to gender, sexuality and the nature of love are constantly being challenged and revised, so our ideas about masculinity, and men’s and boys’ capacity to show genuine loving care for each other and for women, can evolve.

A young girl on the Cape Flats is gifted in exchange for a bottle of alcohol, a woman is beaten by her boyfriend and told to bezekela (persevere), a businesswoman is asked for sexual favours to secure a contract, while a child rapist is released on bail after three years...

South Africa is a country at war with its women. Rarely a woman can be found who has not been the victim of some kind of abuse or does not know a friend or a family member who has. Gender-based violence takes many different forms – emotional, financial, physical, sexual and structural – and it can be meted out by strangers, intimate partners or a family member.

Many women are overcome by a sense of shame when they are sexually or emotionally abused but sharing what was once a secret, helps to break shame’s hold. ‘I am not defined by the abuse I have suffered,’ writes Sue Nyathi. ‘I am not a victim; I am a survivor.’

In When Secrets Become Stories, women from all walks of life, across racial lines, age and income demographics, boldly speak out. With contributions by Lorraine Sithole, Desiree-Anne Martin, Mamokgethi Phakeng, Shafinaaz Hassim, Cathy Park Kelly and Olivia Jasriel, who as a child was sexually abused by tennis star Bob Hewitt.

This set of 7 volumes, originally published between 1984 and 1998, provides illuminating and practical information on Domestic Abuse. Aimed at both students and practitioners across a range of disciplines, the volumes explore topics including, provision of services for domestic abuse victims, the law, homelessness, advice for those coming into contact with violence and victims of abuse, public policy and the experience of domestic abuse victims themselves.

Trauma and Recovery is the foundational text on understanding trauma survivors. By placing individual experience in a political frame, psychiatrist Judith L. Herman argues that psychological trauma is inseparable from its social and political context. Drawing on her own research on incest, as well as a vast literature on combat veterans and victims of political terror, she shows surprising parallels between private horrors like child abuse and public horrors like war. This edition includes a new epilogue by the author assessing what has-and hasn't-changed in understanding and treating trauma over the last three decades. Hailed by the New York Times as "one of the most important psychiatry works to be published since Freud," Trauma and Recovery is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand how we heal.

In this shockingly raw but beautifully written book, Michael Handrick unpicks the toxic narratives and myths built up by society of what it means to be a man, gay and working class. Moving through time and memory, from a rural council estate surrounded by snowdrop-filled forests, to searching for his sense of self across London, Italy, America and beyond, he explores how his struggles with mental health and abuse were compounded by stigmas around class, masculinity and sexuality. At this point in history, despite having more equal rights and media representation than ever before, the gay community is suffering a mental health epidemic. In a 2018 survey, Stonewall found that half of respondents had experienced depression, while other research shows 49 per cent of gay men have suffered from domestic abuse and 26 per cent have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner. As he embarks on a journey to understand the root causes of the toxicity in our society, Handrick finds that the beginnings of the abuse, trauma and mental health crises faced by gay men, and the silence that surrounds them, remain unresolved. Difference is born on the lips, but it is society that shapes those words and actions. The mental health issues gay men live with, the abuse they go through, the stigma, prejudice and discrimination they face do not exist in a vacuum. They are created and catalysed in our societies. Difference is Born on the Lips is a call to come together and create a new conversation, and confront the systemic inequalities that the queer community should never have had to live with.

'Will help so many learn to recognize what an abusive relationship is' - Mel B 'I read it all in one sitting, it is brilliant! This book is so relatable and Maddy's funny and engaging approach starts serious conversations' - Teresa Parker, Women's Aid Are you forever finding yourself in the stranglehold of controlling companions? Well, fear not, because once you've finished reading this book, you'll be able to wave ta-ta to unhappy and unhealthy relationships for good. Consider me the Psycho Sprucer, Bad Boy Buster, the Hot Mess Assessor - ready to leave your love life sparkling. How to Leave Your Psychopath is a candid account of the complex, subtle nature of coercive control and abusive relationships from comedian Maddy Anholt, who - until her eyes were opened - had spent her entire dating life trapped in them. Relatable and accessible, the book covers all the common techniques these toxic twerps use to exert control, including gaslighting, breadcrumbing and negging. This book is the ultimate handbook to help you see and respond to red flags, recognize controlling traits, and learn to give any prospective date a score on Maddy's unique 'Psychometer', from super-empath to psychopath. Vitally, by interweaving psychological insight and autobiographical anecdotes, Maddy shows you the road to self-discovery, leading you on the path to safer dating and a healthier, more joyful life. Funny, judgement-free and full of brilliant first-hand advice, this empowering guide will help anyone ditch their controlling partner to find freedom and happiness.

Confrontation is a memoir based on real events. Set in the early nineties, it follows the journey of a child growing up in South Africa’s season of change.

But all is not as it seems – biologically, domestically, emotionally – three words that immediately takes shape like the head, neck and tail of a monster brooding beneath the bed. Domestic unrest casts a thick veil over a much greater problem.

“One of your greatest challenges in this world, my darling, would be men... It’s a shame because you think you’re the relationship type?” So-called advice from a friend who suggested being gay might be a better option than what she was contemplating. Not that she had a choice. She wasn’t entirely herself yet, and that was the problem.

Kirsty Steinberg is the pen name for the author. Confrontation is her debut work.

Every year in England and Wales alone, one in twenty adults suffer domestic abuse, two thirds of them women. Every week, two men kill a woman they were intimate with. And still we ask the wrong question: Why didn't she leave? Instead, we should ask: Why did he do it? Investigative journalist Jess Hill puts perpetrators -- and the systems that enable them -- in the spotlight. Her radical reframing of domestic abuse takes us beyond the home to explore how power, culture and gender intersect to both produce and normalise abuse. She boldly confronts uncomfortable questions about how and why society creates abusers, but can't seem to protect their victims, and shows how we can end this dark cycle of fear and control. 'See What You Made Me Do' is a profound and bold confrontation of this urgent crisis and its deep roots. It will challenge everything you thought you knew about domestic abuse.

Home is where the heart is. But home is also the most common site for murder. The grimly fascinating new book from the UK's leading criminologist David Wilson uncovers the dangers that exist where we least expect them - perfect for fans of The Dark Side of the Mind and The Mind of a Murderer. The home is the place where murder most commonly occurs. In England and Wales, each year on average 75 per cent of female murder victims and 39 per cent of murdered men are killed at home. This gripping new title from the author of My Life with Murderers and A Plot to Kill explores the tragic prevalence of domestic murder and how, for so many victims, their own home is the place they are most in danger. David Wilson is the UK's leading criminologist and his knowledge of murder is unparalleled. By walking through each part of the house, he explains how each room's purpose has changed over time, the weapons they contain, and ultimately, how these things combine in murder. Delving into infamous as well as lesser-known true crime cases, this examination of the tragic, ordinary nature of murder is both a chilling read and a startling insight into the everyday impact of violence and how it can touch us all.

First published in 1998, this study investigates the effectiveness of services for helping women who are survivors of domestic violence. Looking at a sample from Western and Central Oregon, it examines the utilization and perceived effectiveness of resources for survivors and, in doing so, it systematically assesses the efficacy of community and professional services. This book will be of particular interest to social work students and practitioners, but will also be helpful to those studying healthcare and law.

Little Jamey, 21/2 years old, is placed with experienced foster carer, Cathy Glass, as an emergency. The police and social services have no choice but to remove two-year-old Jamey from home after his mother leaves him alone all night to go out partying. When he first arrives with foster carer Cathy Glass, he is scared, hungry and withdrawn, craving the affection he has been denied for so long. He is small for his age and unsteady on his feet - a result of being left for long periods in his cot. Cathy and her family find Jamey very easy to love, but as he settles in and makes progress, a new threat emerges. Coronavirus and lockdown change everything.

I Am Not Your Victim vividly details the evolution of domestic violence during the 16-year marriage of author Beth Sipe. Encouraged to publish her story by her therapist and co-author, Evelyn J. Hall, Beth relates the background and events leading up to and immediately following the tragic act of desperation that ended the life of her sadistic perpetrator. Beth's subsequent mishandling by the police, the military, a mental health professional, and the welfare system illustrates how women like Beth face further revictimization and neglect by the very systems that should provide support and assistance. Insightful commentaries written by experts in the field follow Beth's story and deepen readers' understanding of the causes and process of spousal abuse, why battered women stay, and the dynamic consequences of domestic violence. This updated edition includes new commentaries and an epilogue that tracks what happened to Beth in the years following the book's publication.

The Convention on Preventing and Combating Violence against Women and Domestic Violence (also known as the Istanbul Convention) was adopted by the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe on 7 April 2011. The Convention entered into force on 1 August 2014 and has currently been ratified by 22 states. This Convention constitutes a crucial development as regards the movement to combat gender-based violence, as it sets new legally binding standards in this area. This book provides a detailed analysis of the Convention and its potential to make an impact in relation to the specific issue of domestic violence. The book places the Istanbul Convention in context with regard to developments relating to domestic violence as a human rights issue. The background to the adoption of the Convention is examined, and the text of this instrument is analysed in detail. Comparative analysis is engaged in with reference to the duties that have been placed on states by other bodies such as the UN Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women and the European Court of Human Rights. Comparisons are also drawn with the Inter-American Convention on the Prevention, Punishment, and Eradication of Violence against Women and with the relevant provisions of the Protocol to the African Charter on Human and Peoples' Rights on the Rights of Women in Africa. An in-depth examination of the advantages of the adoption of the Istanbul Convention by the Council of Europe is provided along with a detailed analysis of the challenges faced by the Convention. The book concludes with a number of brief reflections in relation to the question of whether the adoption of a UN convention on violence against women may be a possible development, and the potential such an instrument holds, in the context of domestic violence.

Domestic violence does not discriminate and is prevalent throughout the word regardless of race, age or socio-economic status. Why, then, do reactions and response differ so widely throughout the world? While some countries work diligently to address the matter through prevention and training, others take a 'hands-off' approach in their response. This book is one of the first to investigate domestic violence on a global scale and provides best practices gleaned from various countries around the world to paint a detailed picture of how police response to domestic violence is currently being conducted and provide training bodies with up-to-date information to enhance current curricula. Domestic Violence in International Context brings together expert scholars native to twelve different countries to examine the history and scope of domestic violence and how it is being addressed, repressed or ignored in their thirteen respective countries. Their specialised knowledge and unique data come together to create a series of snapshots that will guide nations, societies and communities worldwide in formulating effective strategies to prevent, intervene and combat this epidemic, and examine partnerships and programmes already in place. This book is essential reading for practitioners, policy makers, and human rights organisations, as well as students and scholars of criminology, social work, sociology and law.

First published in 1985, this is the first published study of violence in the family to be aimed directly at people whose professions bring them into contact with domestic abuse victims, as well as those training for those professions. It documents the problems faced by women with violent husbands and discusses how the needs of these women and of their children can best be met. The first part of the book reports the results of original research carried out by the editor. The second part of the book is concerned with the response of the law, the police, social services, housing departments and health services. The third part draws on the conference at which this research was presented, and offers recommendations for the future, in terms if better practice and of broad social and economic changes. This book will be of interest to students of social work, health care, medicine and law, as well as those studying social policy, sociology and women's studies.

First published in 1994, this in-depth and long-term study presents an ethnography which is comprised of personal narratives of victims of domestic abuse and homelessness. Drawing on these stories, the book addresses a number of issues surrounding the provision of services for homeless women and domestic abuse victims, including the effectiveness of assistance programs and laws and potential solutions to the problems of both domestic abuse and homelessness. This book will be of interest to those studying social work, health care and mental health, sociology and women's studies.

First published in 1990, this book is based on a field study of domestic abuse victims and their social network members. In a life history perspective, using values and network analysis, it uncovers the social context of a 'secret' crime against women and reveals the relationship between personal crisis and traditional attitudes toward women, marriage, the family, and violence. This book breaks new ground by redirecting attention beyond victim-blaming and the medicalization of violence to understanding domestic abuse victims as survivors who manage multiple crises despite public inattention to their plight. From analysis of the women's struggles with violence and its aftermath, this book proposes a new crisis paradigm, which underscores the sociocultural aspects of crisis originating from violence. This book will be of interest to those studying social sciences, women's studies, social work, health and mental health professions.

In the early 1970s, the problem of abuse within the family unit began to surface on a large scale and 1975 was a particularly significant year for the recognition of interfamilial violence. This recognition provided the impetus for more concern and investigation of the issue and significant literature on family violence began to emerge during this period. First published in 1984, this bibliography contains information published in English on domestic violence and abuse from 1960-1982. It is arranged alphabetically by author, or by the first significant word in the title if no author is given. A concise subject index and an author index follow the bibliography itself. This book will be a valuable resource to those studying social work, health care, mental health, sociology, women's studies and law.