God will not waste your pain We have all heard of post traumatic stress, but few of us think about the possibility of post traumatic growth--the positive ways in which we can be transformed by our trauma. Yet this is precisely what can happen when we face our hurts, struggle through the rubble of our broken relationships, and unearth the ways God wants to use our trials to refine and mature us. With compassion born from personal experience and insights gathered from years of counseling others, licensed marriage and family therapist Debra Laaser helps you stop asking "Why me?" and start asking "Lord, what would you have me learn from this?" She offers tangible steps you can take to move beyond daily survival toward a future in which you can thrive. God does not waste our pain. With Laaser's expert guidance, you can experience positive life change not in spite of the hurt, loss, or betrayal you have undergone but because of it.

This new take on relationships changes everything By examining the seven desires we all share, Mark and amp; Debra Laaser illustrate how men and women are actually more alike than different. Do you long for ways to Tune in more closely to your children? Connect on a deeper level with your spouse? Strengthen friendships? Reach a fuller relationship with God? The Laasers look past what separates us to examine what connects us. Instead of focusing on how to sidestep or compensate for perceived differences, they dig deeper, to the core of our souls, to examine how the basic needs of all people make us more alike than different. The Seven Desires of Every Heart explores the common desires God has given us ---to be heard, affirmed, blessed, safe, touched, chosen, and included. Using stories, biblical references, and sound psychological principles, the Laasers explain each desire and show us how we seek it and what it feels like to have it truly fulfilled. You will learn healthy ways to embody these desires in your relationships and be given the tools you need to start repairing and rebuilding relationships and developing new skills for creating emotional and spiritual intimacy.

When a couple first comes together, the knee-weakening, heart-stopping, pants-dropping passion exhilarates. But turning that love into an intimate bond comes no more naturally than learning to ride a bicycle or use chopsticks. What we are socialized to assume should be spontaneous and effortless requires patience and learned skills. Worse, should any problems erupt we fear the relationship and ourselves are irrevocably broken. We need help.
Though written by two noted psychologists, Open Hearts is not technical but gentle and uplifting. Patrick Carnes, along with Mark Laaser and Deb Laaser, share how they found their way to joyous and fulfilling intimacy. While these concepts originated in the recovery movement, they can transform any couple seeking renewal or trying to restore a broken relationship.
"Open Hearts" starts with basic truths:
- We can only work on a relationship when we're in that relationship. Running away never solved anything
- If we have not resolved childhood developmental issues, we will seek out partners we think will resolve them
- It's perfectly healthy to fight. We just have to learn to do it better.
- As partners w'ere often stuck in "coupleshame." However, working through it leads to true intimacy
"Open Hearts" is a book a couple reads together. It takes techniques that Carnes and the Laasers developed in their psychotherapy practices and weaves them into a series of individual and joint exercises. It looks at tough issues: shame, anger, money, betrayal, sex, parenting. It encourages fun: drawing up a family motto, expressing spirituality together, taking gentleness breaks. It works.
"Open Hearts" addresses coupleship to show how a relationship, no matter how imperfect or new, can be transformed and restored to loving intimacy.

SPANISH EDITION. In this instructive and inspirational book, Mark and Debra Laaser teach us how to have richer relationships with God and others. Using stories and straightforward observations, they examine seven desires we all share, and illustrate how understanding those desires can enhance our relationships and enrich our lives.

For any woman dealing with the fallout of infidelity, this sensitive and practical guide offers proven tools to help you make wise and empowering decisions as you deal with your husband's sexual betrayal. If you have been devastated by your husband's sexual betrayal--whether an isolated incident or a long-term pattern of addiction--you don't have to live as a victim. If you choose to stay in your marriage, you have options other than punishing, tolerating, or ignoring your spouse; in fact, extraordinary growth awaits a woman willing to deal with the pain of her husband's struggles with sexual purity. Even if your spouse will not participate in a program for healing, you can change your own life in powerful and permanent ways. Shattered Vows is inspired by Debra Laaser's own journey through betrayal, her extensive work with hundreds of hurting women as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and her healed marriage after her husband's infidelity. In this book, she gives you the emotional tools to develop greater intimacy in your life, spiritual tools to transform your suffering, and meaningful answers to the questions that arise amid the complex fallout of broken vows: What am I supposed to do now? Why should I get help when this is his problem? How could this have happened? Where can I hide my heart? When will I stop feeling so out of control? What do you mean, "do I want to get well?" How can I ever trust him again? Is forgiving him really possible? How can we rebuild our relationship? The pain endured from sexual betrayal can break your heart, but it does not need to break your life.