I wrote My Big Fat Head when I decided to accept the fact that I
was a food addict... ...well, maybe not total acceptance, but an
acknowledgement. Let s call it a nod. I knew there was no question
I was a sugar addict, and I knew that if the sugar didn t go, I was
going to go (diabetic, crazy, to Weight Watcher s for the fifth
time, pick one), and I wanted to mentally stay onboard, so I didn t
think I would ever publish My Big Fat Head, because if I did, I d
be out of the closet and all the world would know my dirty little
secret; that when placed in a boxing ring with chocolate chip
cookies, I d get knocked down every time. My one and only problem,
or so I thought, was my sweet tooth. Once I gave up the foods I
craved most, I realized that the only thing I was doing by
consuming them in the first place was depriving myself of living an
honest life. How can that possibly make sense? Because when a
person is in the throes of any addiction - food, alcohol, drugs,
obsessive behaviors - the preoccupation with that one thing is so
prevalent that everything else takes a back seat. Not intentionally
and not all at once, so that you don t even notice until it s too
late, your life becomes this narrow hallway that loops back and
recycles in on itself, causing an unsettling mental disruption.
Think circular treadmill you can t jump off of. It may not be
publicly noticed, but it s strongly felt by the addict in question.
My Big Fat Head is about more than just about the desire to be
thin. It tells the story a life ruled by emotional fear. I thought
it was my destiny to be an unhappy, overweight person and so I
dismissed my mental, physical, and spiritual health for a bite of a
brownie. Okay, fine. A pan of brownies. When I was done writing, I
was totally oblivious to the world of editors, agents, and
publishers. Overwhelmed with the prospect of writing a book
proposal and feeling that what I had to share was time conscious
material, I self-published my book at iUniverse.com. And through
iUniverse, my book has given folks with a range of addictions -
from eating to gambling to drinking to shopping - hope. And hope,
unlike a stomach full of brownies, is something worth sharing.
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