Balter tells the story of her 20 years of madness and
hospitalizations, and present recovery (recently filmed as an
Emmy-winning TV movie by Marlo Thomas). Cowriter Katz is an
anthropologist and psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical
School. At five, Balter is given up for adoption by her unmarried
alcoholic mother (she never knew her father) and doesn't see her
again until she is 18. By then she's been adopted by Ma and Pa
Bartello of Gloucester, Mass., but her years with them are so
painful that she returns to Boston, her birthplace, and is taken
into St. Theresa's Home for Girls. She's in and out of orphanages,
tries again to live with the Bartellos; her inner being washes away
when Pa dies and Ma becomes ill. She falls victim to disorienting
panic attacks, is in and out of mental hospitals, finally spends
the bulk of her institutional life in "The Castle," or the wards at
Loring General Hospital, where she is shuffled about the wards
depending upon the depths of her illness. Because floors always
seem canting like a ship deck going under, she walks on the balls
of her feet, clings to walls, and stays curled up in the fetal
position in bed as much as possible - for years, in fact. Finally,
she goes crazy all the way but nonetheless is nearly always aware
of herself. Misdiagnosed as schizophrenic, Balter is given massive
doses of a new wonder drug for schizophrenics, Stellazine, but it
effects are disastrous. At last, during a lull between panic
attacks, she gets the idea that if she ever wants to get out of the
hospital she'll have to work her way out, and so slowly takes on
chores, cams pittances, and in her late 30s leaves the hospital to
go to college. She marries a fellow mental patient, Joe Baiter,
survives his relapses and eventual death, and by story's end has a
Master's from Harvard and has become a voice for the mentally ill.
One amazing story, with symptoms captured to a farethewell, and an
upbeat ending that can't fail to move the reader. (Kirkus Reviews)
Marie Balter's courageous story of hope and healing has inspired
millions around the country. After spending the first twenty years
of her adult life in a mental hospital, she gradually emerged from
the terror of the back wards, eventually to attend graduate school
at Harvard University and become a leading champion for the
mentally ill.
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