After forty years of entertaining and mesmerizing audiences with his effervescent dancing and bubbly stage personality, veteran performer and producer Alistair Izobell was the consummate professional and showman. A household name from his performances as a nine-year-old boy in District Six the musical, to his cover version hit in 1993 - Venus. With theatre performances in Kat and the Kings, The Buddy Holly Story, The Doo Wha Boys, co-writing Remembering the Lux and more, life was amazing for this creative. Producing show after show, leaving audiences with lifelong memories. Introducing new talent to the industry, nurturing existing talent, writing theme songs for soap operas and a song for an international Grammy award winning group. The sky was the limit. But it was all smoke and mirrors. There was darkness behind the spotlight.

Alistair never knew he was suffering from depression and the walls were closing in. The patriarchal system that we as a society have become accustomed to had come to bear with a bit of karma, after a massive betrayal in his life, and the cards came crashing down.

On the 13th September 2023 Alistair Izobell tried to take his life. It was all too much for him to carry on. Having survived suicide, he now had to face every good, bad and ugly reality, every decision, the trauma, and results of a life handed over to show business at a young age. The road to recovery and healing has and will be a long one. But when you want to heal and find your smile and freedom, nothing can stop you.

Broken to Heal is born from the sessions of therapy and wanting to be better. A book of anecdotes inviting the reader into the life and world of this performer we forgot was a normal child, husband, father, and friend. This book is aimed to let those who enjoy the work of performers think a little deeper about the enormous naked emotional journey creatives go through for them to enjoy the beauty of their art. But to remember that there is a real human being behind the curtains with the same life challenges we all carry. It is also a hand of hope to someone out there suffering from depression, to remind them that all is not lost, and there is help and kindness that you have access to.

There is medical help that you have at your disposal and that you are never alone in your darkness. Someone is waiting for you to say I need help. And more than anything, YOU BELONG HERE!

Sukkel jy met selfvertroue? Vergelyk jy jouself gedurig met die wêreld se idee van perfeksie? Verhinder jou gebrek aan selfvertroue jou om doelwitte te bereik en werklik sukesvol te wees? Jy is nie alleen nie.

Van die slimste en mooiste vroue ter wêreld het lae selfvertroue. In hierdie boek deel Rolene Strauss hoe ook sy met 'n tekort aan selfvertroue gesukkel het, selfs terwyl sy die Mej. Wêreldkroon gedra het. Deur haar meestersgraad in professionele lewensafrigting en ure se afrigtingsessies met vroue wat met lae selfvertroue gesukkel het, het Rolene waardevolle insigte bekom oor hoe vroue hul selfvertroue kan bou en behou.

Herontdek Jou Selfvertroue is ’n onontbeerlike gids vir vroue wat die moed en vertroue wil hê om hul drome vreesloos na te jaag.

Bart, die aantreklikste ou in haar matriekklas, soen Esli uit haar vel. Vir meer as veertig jaar deel hulle hul lewens, maak saam kinders groot en sien om na vriende en familie. Jaarliks vier hulle Kersfees in Kleinmond met geskenke en trifle en stappies langs die see met hul worshond.

Maar hoekom val Bart se broer uit ’n boom voor Esli se ouerhuis? En watter donker geheim is onderliggend aan Bart se ma se vreemde gedrag en onfatsoenlike grappe? Wat dink kollegas van Esli se haarstyleksperimente en panda-oë? Verdien sy om in die spaarkamer te skuil omdat sy, volgens Bart, aand na aand die kos brand en die hond se pote laat nat word as dit reën?

In So Lyk ’n Vrou vertel Ilse Verster van Esli se heelwording en hoe sy, ná ’n leeftyd van mishandeling, in ’n rooi rok op die strand kon staan met een vuis in die lug en vry kon voel. Sy gee stem aan ’n stukkende vrou wat net wil hê die pyn moet stop. Sy deel wat dit verg om jou teen die muur op te trek, jou teen die samelewing te handhaaf en jouself te red.

When South Africa’s golden girl of broadcasting, Tracy Going’s battered face was splashed across the media back in the late 1990s, the nation was shocked. South Africans had become accustomed to seeing Going, glamorous and groomed on television or hearing her resonant voice on Radio Metro and Kaya FM. Sensational headlines of a whirlwind love relationship turned horrendously violent threw the “perfect” life of the household star into disarray.

What had started off as a fairy-tale romance with a man who appeared to be everything that Going was looking for – charming, handsome and successful – had quickly descended into a violent, abusive relationship.

“As I stood before him all I could see were the lies, the disappearing for days without warning, the screaming, the threats, the terror, the hostage-holding, the keeping me up all night, the dragging me through the house by my hair, the choking, the doors locked around me, the phones disconnected, the isolation, the fear and the uncertainty.”

The rosy love cloud burst just five months after meeting her “Prince Charming” when she staggered into the local police station, bruised and battered. A short relationship became a two-and-a-half-year legal ordeal played out in the public eye. In mesmerising detail, Going takes us through the harrowing court process – a system seeped in injustice – her decline into depression, the immediate collapse of her career due to the highly public nature of her assault and the decades-long journey to undo the psychological damages in the search for safety and the reclaiming of self. The roots of violence form the backdrop of the book, tracing Going’s childhood on a plot in Brits, laced with the unpredictable violence of an alcoholic father who regularly terrorised the family with his fists of rage.

“I was ashamed of my father, the drunk. If he wasn’t throwing back the liquid in the lounge then he’d be finding comfort and consort in his cans at the golf club. With that came the uncertainty as I lay in my bed and waited for him to return. I would lie there holding my curtain tight in my small hand. I would pull the fabric down, almost straight, forming a strained sliver and I would peer into the blackness, unblinking. It seemed I was always watching and waiting. Sometimes I searched for satellites between the twinkles of light, but mostly the fear in my tummy distracted me.”

Brilliantly penned, this highly skilled debut memoir, is ultimately uplifting in the realisation that healing is a lengthy and often arduous process and that self-forgiveness and acceptance is essential in order to fully embrace life.

Chances are you’re suffering from burnout. For some time, Master Coach Judy Klipin has waged what felt like a lonely battle, speaking up about the scourge of burnout that is approaching epidemic proportions in South Africa, one of the most stressed nations in the world.

Men and women, young and old, from all walks of life have sought her help for their Burnout. Housewives, students, young adults in their first jobs, executive business-people, teachers, mothers, fathers, doctors, nurses, police officers, journalists… all complaining of feeling run-down, exhausted, overwhelmed and under-enthused about life in general and their lives in particular. Burnout is not only restricted to high-flying business executives, it can affect anyone. Burnout is not one thing, it is also a feeling of listlessness and ineptitude, a lack of enthusiasm and excitement, an existential emergency.

Recover From Burnout will help you to understand why we get it, how to get better from it, and how not to get it again. You’ll discover how to:

• understand your burnout,
• recognise and engage with the underlying fears and beliefs that underpin your drive to push your body, mind and spirit to breaking point,
• change the beliefs and habits that have exhausted you,
• regain your energy and enthusiasm, and
• avoid falling back into the burnout traps

Edited and with an introduction by Roxane Gay, the New York Times bestselling and deeply beloved author of Bad Feminist and Hunger, this anthology of first-person essays tackles rape, assault, and harassment head-on.

In this valuable and revealing anthology, cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay collects original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence, and aggression they face, and where they are "routinely second-guessed, blown off, discredited, denigrated, besmirched, belittled, patronized, mocked, shamed, gaslit, insulted, bullied" for speaking out. Contributions include essays from established and up-and-coming writers, performers, and critics, including actors Ally Sheedy and Gabrielle Union and writers Amy Jo Burns, Lyz Lenz, and Claire Schwartz.

Covering a wide range of topics and experiences, from an exploration of the rape epidemic embedded in the refugee crisis to first-person accounts of child molestation, this collection is often deeply personal and is always unflinchingly honest. Like Rebecca Solnit's Men Explain Things to Me, Not That Bad will resonate with every reader, saying "something in totality that we cannot say alone."

Searing and heartbreakingly candid, this provocative collection both reflects the world we live in and offers a call to arms insisting that “not that bad” must no longer be good enough.

Written by bestselling author Phil Hewitt, Outrunning The Demons is an exploration of the transformative power of running – and how it can be the key to unlocking resilience we never knew we had.

Running can take us to fantastic places. Just as importantly, it can also bring us back from terrible ones. For people in times of crisis, trauma and physical or mental illness – when normality collapses – running can put things back together again. After bestselling author Phil Hewitt was viciously mugged, stabbed and left for dead in 2016, he found himself suffering the acute symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Unable to make sense of the horrific experience that had happened to him, Phil found that dedicating himself to running was slowly but surely helping him heal.

Outrunning The Demons is an enriching and celebratory exploration of the transformative power of running – and how it can be the key to unlocking resilience we never knew we had.

Told through 34 deeply affecting real-life stories and covering such diverse themes as trauma, bereavement, addiction, depression and anxiety, this compelling book is an exposition of just why running can so often be the answer to everything when we find ourselves in extremis.

Brutally dragged 780 metres beneath a taxi – a young woman’s inspiring story of survival, courage, and the will to live.

13 September 2011. The story would shock thousands and be remembered by many for years to come. It would be plastered all over the papers and continue to attract interest well after the shock factor of what happened had passed. Reports and articles would be written, and “facts”, as given to reporters by some of those involved and willing to be interviewed, would be recounted and repeated in all forms of public media over the months and even years that followed. And although these versions would generate widespread outrage, none was entirely accurate.

"The stories were about me. I was there. I am Kim McCusker - the girl who was dragged by a taxi. This, as I experienced it, is the true version of events."

In an inspiring follow-up to her critically acclaimed, #1 bestselling memoir Becoming, former First Lady Michelle Obama shares practical wisdom and powerful strategies for staying hopeful and balanced in today’s highly uncertain world.

There may be no tidy solutions or pithy answers to life’s big challenges, but Michelle Obama believes that we can all locate and lean on a set of tools to help us better navigate change and remain steady within flux. In The Light We Carry, she opens a frank and honest dialogue with readers, considering the questions many of us wrestle with: How do we build enduring and honest relationships? How can we discover strength and community inside our differences? What tools do we use to address feelings of self-doubt or helplessness? What do we do when it all starts to feel like too much?

Michelle Obama offers readers a series of fresh stories and insightful reflections on change, challenge, and power, including her belief that when we light up for others, we can illuminate the richness and potential of the world around us, discovering deeper truths and new pathways for progress. Drawing from her experiences as a mother, daughter, spouse, friend, and First Lady, she shares the habits and principles she has developed to successfully adapt to change and overcome various obstacles—the earned wisdom that helps her continue to “become.” She details her most valuable practices, like “starting kind,” “going high,” and assembling a “kitchen table” of trusted friends and mentors. With trademark humor, candor, and compassion, she also explores issues connected to race, gender, and visibility, encouraging readers to work through fear, find strength in community, and live with boldness.

“When we are able to recognize our own light, we become empowered to use it,” writes Michelle Obama. A rewarding blend of powerful stories and profound advice that will ignite conversation, The Light We Carry inspires readers to examine their own lives, identify their sources of gladness, and connect meaningfully in a turbulent world.

A mother of small children trusts her 'gut feelings' and it saves her life.

A young dad is able to grieve for his lost baby – using a song.

What if there were parts of our minds which we never use, but if awakened, could make us so much happier, connected and alive? What if awakening those parts could bring peace to the conflicts and struggles we all go through?

From the cutting edge, where therapy meets neuroscience, Steve Biddulph explores the new concept of 'supersense' – the feelings beneath our feelings – which can guide us to a more awake and free way of living every minute of our lives. And the Four-storey Mansion, a way of using your mind that can be taught to a five-year-old, but can also help the most damaged adult.

In Fully Human, Steve Biddulph draws on deeply personal stories from his own life, as well of those of his clients, and from the frontiers of thinking about how the brain works with the body and the wisdom of the `wild creature' inside all of us. At the peak of a lifetime's work, one of the world's best-known psychotherapists and educators shows how you can be more alive, more connected. More FULLY HUMAN.

From the bestselling author of Raising Boys.

That morning, Michelle presented her Psychology honours thesis on men's perceptions of rape. She started her presentation like this, “A woman born in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped than learning how to read …” On that same evening, she goes to a party to celebrate attaining her degree. She and a friend go to the beach; the friend has something she wants to discuss. They are both robbed, assaulted and raped. Within minutes of getting help, Michelle realises she'll never be herself again. She's now "the girl who was raped."

This book is Michelle's fight to be herself again. Of the taint she feels, despite the support and resources at her disposal as the loved child of a successful middle-class family. Of the fall-out to friendships, job, identity.

It's Michelle's brave way of standing up for the women in South Africa who are raped every day.

Born in Qqeberha in the 1990s, popular Aids activist Nozibele Mayaba’s upbringing was one of struggle and strife. She was raised by the tough hand of her mother in the confines of a strict Christian household. Nozibele strove to be the “good girl” that everyone adores to win her mother’s approval and the affection of her absent father.

She lived by the book and was steered by her faith. Hers becomes a life of firsts. She is the first person in her family to travel overseas. The first to graduate from university. It is also her first love, with his infectious smile that infected her with HIV.

This diagnosis throws her life into disarray. Fearing stigma and feeling the need to maintain her “good girl” image, she kept her status a secret. However, she soon succumbed to depression. It is in the aftermath, when she picks up the broken pieces of her life that she finds purpose in all the pain she has endured.

She went public with her story in a video that when viral and launched her onto a new path. Nozibele, who has since gotten married and recently became a mother, has made it her mission to hold open conversations about her journey living with HIV.

Told with gut wrenching honesty, Nozibele is at her most vulnerable in this brave account about what it means to live and love beyond HIV.

Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry, discuss the impact of trauma and adverse experiences and how healing must begin with a shift to asking, “what happened to you?” rather than “what’s wrong with you?”

Through wide-ranging, and often deeply personal conversation, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Perry explore how what happens to us in early childhood – both good and bad - influences the people we become. They challenge us to shift from focusing on, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you behaving that way?,” to asking, “What happened to you?” This simple change in perspective can open up a new and hopeful understanding for millions about why we do the things we do, why we are the way we are, providing a road map for repairing relationships, overcoming what seems insurmountable, and ultimately living better and more fulfilling lives.

Many of us experience adversity and trauma during childhood that has lasting impact on our physical and emotional health. And as we’re beginning to understand, we are more sensitive to developmental trauma as children than we are as adults. ‘What happened to us’ in childhood is a powerful predictor of our risk for physical and mental health problems down the road, and offers scientific insights in to the patterns of behaviors so many struggle to understand.

A survivor of multiple childhood challenges herself, Oprah Winfrey shares portions of her own harrowing experiences because she understands the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma at a young age. Throughout her career, Oprah has teamed up with Dr. Bruce Perry, one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma. He has treated thousands of children, youth, and adults and has been called on for decades to support individuals and communities following high-profile traumatic events. Now, Oprah joins forces with Dr. Perry to marry the power of storytelling with the science and clinical experience to better understand and overcome the effects of trauma.

In conversation throughout the book, the two focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves in the context of personal experiences. They remove blame and self-shaming, and open up a space for healing and understanding. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future - opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

Grounded in the latest brain science and brought to life through compelling narratives, this book shines a light on a much-needed path to recovery – showing us our incredible capacity to transform after adversity.

Moshitadi is a mother wound recovery coach.

In The Girl Who Survived Her Mother, she details the years of her torturous relationship with her mother, maps the intergenerational nature of the trauma in her family, and reveals how she was finally able to begin her journey of healing.

Today she helps clients around the world face their most shameful question -- how do I love myself when the person who carried me and gave birth to me cannot?

Sociopath: A Memoir is at once a jaw-dropping tale of a life lived on the edge of the law, and a moving account of one woman's battle to gain a deeper understanding of people who, like her, are sociopaths.

Ever since she was a small child, Patric Gagne knew she was different. Although she felt intense love for her family and her best friend, David, these connections were never enough to make her be 'good', or to reduce her feelings of apathy and frustration. As she grew older, her behaviour escalated from petty theft through to breaking and entering, stalking, and worse . . .

As an adult, Patric realized that she was a sociopath. Although she instantly connected with the official descriptions of sociopathy, she also knew they didn't tell the full story: she had a plan for her life, had nurtured close relationships and was doing her best (most of the time) to avoid harming others.

While her darker impulses warred against her attempts to live a settled, loving life with her partner, Patric began to wonder - was there a way for sociopaths to integrate happily into society? And could she find it before her own behaviour went a step too far?

"So here I am, at a psychiatric hospital, looking for myself in a building I’ve never been in before. A few nights ago, I was ready to rid myself of myself. I still am, only, in a different way. This time, I want to do away with what I hope will soon be my former self. I don’t know what is wrong with me, I never have. All I know is that my head is clouded with loud voices screaming in different frequencies; none of them making sense. With only a stony face to hide it all behind, and a pained smile to offer my friends and colleagues."

Patient 12A is Lesedi Molefi’s absorbing memoir, reflecting on his time spent in a psychiatric clinic in 2016. With vulnerability and candour, Lesedi reflects on the moments, large and small, that led him here. It is at once a personal history, an observation of how childhood experiences can have a profound effect on the adults we become, and a commentary on how mental illness remains a difficult conversation in black families.

But more than anything, Patient 12A is Lesedi’s attempt to filter out the noise in his head to find the truth, however uncomfortable that may be.

Ivor Swartz is ’n depressiekenner. Hy leef al jare daarmee saam, hy aanvaar dit, hy hanteer dit. Hy kies die lewe.

In hierdie boek kyk Ivor na sy eie depressie, sy eie hulpkrete en pleit dat ons geen mens oordeel vir die keuses wat hulle in hulle donkerste oomblikke gemaak het nie. Hy gesels oor depressie onder tieners en hoe ons kan help, en reik 'n sagte hand uit na ouers wat 'n kind aan selfdood verloor het. Ivor gee ook spesiale aandag aan depressie onder mans en vra hoe kan gewone mense, geliefdes en die kerk depressielyers ondersteun.

In hierdie intense persoonlike, maar toeganklike reis gee Ivor nie maklike antwoorde nie, hy vra dat ons ons oë sal oopmaak vir mense rondom ons, en dat ons met die regte gesindhede hulle sal ondersteun.

The perfect match. Or so she thinks. Her warmth and empathy. His charisma and ambition. Yet, Cathy feels safer teaching battle-scarred gangsters in a prison classroom than at home with her own partner.

By day she walks on eggshells. At night she sleeps on the backseat of her car. Her safe place is an all-night roadhouse; her best friend, her journal. The slow boil intensifies until, one day, Cathy finds her grandmother’s armoire smashed to pieces in her bedroom, a hammer on the floor, her life in splinters beside it.

Part memoir, part inspiration, Boiling A Frog Slowly is unflinching in its confrontation of abuse and utterly courageous in its portrayal of redemption.

The definitive book on how to eat for mental health, from a go-to expert on the impact of food on the brain.

Did you know that blueberries can help you cope with the after-effects of trauma? That salami can cause depression, or that boosting Vitamin D intake can help treat anxiety?

When it comes to diet, most people's concerns involve weight loss, fitness, cardiac health, and longevity. But what we eat affects more than our bodies; it also affects our brains. And recent studies have shown that diet can have a profound impact on mental health conditions ranging from ADHD to depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, OCD, dementia and beyond.

Dr. Uma Naidoo is a board-certified psychiatrist, nutrition specialist, and professionally trained chef. In The Food-Mood Connection, she draws on cutting-edge research to explain the many ways in which food contributes to our mental health, and shows how a sound diet can help treat and prevent a wide range of psychological and cognitive health issues.

Packed with fascinating science, actionable nutritional recommendations, and delicious, brain-healthy recipes, The Food-Mood Connection is the go-to guide to optimizing your mental health with food.

For those people who: have a keen imagination; are labelled too shy or too sensitive; who perform poorly when being observed even though they are usually competent; have vivid dreams; for whom time alone each day is essential; and find they are quickly overwhelmed by noise and confusion, crowded parties, hectic office life... this is the book to help them understand themselves and how best to cope in various situations.

Highly sensitive people are often very bright and creative but many suffer from low self esteem. They are not ‘neurotics’ as they have been labelled for so long. However, high sensitivity can lead them to cease to engage with the outside world.

The book offers solutions for a happy and fulfilling life. Particularly in the way an HSP perceives his or herself: the book helps to ‘reframe’ past events, such as a difficult childhood, or how they see themselves – ie. shy.

Particularly strong material for those raising a sensitive child.

A pioneering researcher transforms our understanding of trauma and offers a bold new paradigm for healing in this New York Times Science bestseller.

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world's foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers' capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments-from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga-that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain's natural neuroplasticity.

Based on Dr. van der Kolk's own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal-and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

Let yourself listen with your heart - everything you need you will find there.

We are all born with a unique Soul Signature - it is our essence, our truest self. It's the part of us that is always in flow, in unity with the creative energy of a conscious Universe. Our Soul Signature is who we are and who we have always been, but the truth is it's so very easy to lose touch with this when life gets in the way.

We all experience challenging times - pain, fear and confusion can separate us from who we really are. Psychotherapist and energy worker Janny Juddly take you on a journey through seven stages of healing so that you can remember who you were before life got in the way.

Janny encourages you to listen once again to your Soul Signature, to let go of what does not serve you and to transform your pain into wisdom and resilience. This is an invitation to answer the call of your Soul Signature, to make sense of your life experience and access a deeper truth - so that you can once again rediscover who you really are, a child of the universe.

Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry, discuss the impact of trauma and adverse experiences and how healing must begin with a shift to asking, “what happened to you?” rather than “what’s wrong with you?”

Through wide-ranging, and often deeply personal conversation, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Perry explore how what happens to us in early childhood – both good and bad - influences the people we become. They challenge us to shift from focusing on, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you behaving that way?,” to asking, “What happened to you?” This simple change in perspective can open up a new and hopeful understanding for millions about why we do the things we do, why we are the way we are, providing a road map for repairing relationships, overcoming what seems insurmountable, and ultimately living better and more fulfilling lives.

Many of us experience adversity and trauma during childhood that has lasting impact on our physical and emotional health. And as we’re beginning to understand, we are more sensitive to developmental trauma as children than we are as adults. ‘What happened to us’ in childhood is a powerful predictor of our risk for physical and mental health problems down the road, and offers scientific insights in to the patterns of behaviors so many struggle to understand.

A survivor of multiple childhood challenges herself, Oprah Winfrey shares portions of her own harrowing experiences because she understands the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma at a young age. Throughout her career, Oprah has teamed up with Dr. Bruce Perry, one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma. He has treated thousands of children, youth, and adults and has been called on for decades to support individuals and communities following high-profile traumatic events. Now, Oprah joins forces with Dr. Perry to marry the power of storytelling with the science and clinical experience to better understand and overcome the effects of trauma.

In conversation throughout the book, the two focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves in the context of personal experiences. They remove blame and self-shaming, and open up a space for healing and understanding. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future - opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

Grounded in the latest brain science and brought to life through compelling narratives, this book shines a light on a much-needed path to recovery – showing us our incredible capacity to transform after adversity.

After an exceptionally wild Mother’s Day where she danced like there was no tomorrow, picked a fight with a stranger and collided with the floor, Johannesburg scriptwriter and author Pamela Power is forced to take a hard look at her drinking habits. She realises that although she does not need to find an AA group immediately, she might be a serial binge drinker and needs to take back control.

In this honest yet humorous account of her year of not getting sh*tfaced, Pamela examines her long, complicated relationship with alcohol. She is shocked to realise just how much of a crutch alcohol has been for her. There is always a bottle of wine or Prosecco around to her to help her manage the many demands of life as a freelancer and as a parent.

Pamela starts her journey to sobriety at the height of the Covid-19 pandemic as her family faces financial troubles, and life in the suburban Parks of Johannesburg isn’t so blissful anymore. Through her, we experience all the frustration, irritation and surprising benefits of going dry. In dealing with her dependence on alcohol, Pamela also confronts her troubled relationship with her parents.

While many other sober curious books portray sobriety as the only answer, Pamela has found a sweet spot between total sobriety and binge drinking: moderation.

Why...

I know, why would anybody name their first book, Why? Let me quickly tell you.

Exposure to pornography at a very young age and sexual abuse as a child, made my life hell. Quite frankly it ruined my whole life. I lived with daily battles that created a war within my soul. This torment lasted until I was 40 years old. I could no longer live with the trauma, the pain and suffering, emanating from my childhood events, I needed help. Just like many adults and children do too.

Don’t we all have a story? Some stories are more attractive than others. This is my story. It is real, authentic, and raw. So many ask the question, Why? Not all our why’s have clear answers. And often, we never get an answer.

Why adults stay stuck in early childhood trauma?
Why pornography will ruin your child’s life?
Why do children need early intervention from trauma?
Why are parents blind to see the warning signs from trauma?
Why is a safe environment so important for a child to develop?
Why can the trauma of sexual abuse last a lifetime?
Why does Jesus care?

Many of your why’s will be answered through reading my life story mirrored with those of the Israelites. A story that is used multiple times in history to display Slavery and Freedom. It is a story that would help people to find true freedom, a story that will point you to the Truth. It is a story of wandering through the wilderness as a slave, with addictions, pain, and suffering. Addictions that are not easily spoken about, addictions that is not easily resolved. Addictions that many survivors don't want to have in the first place.

Freedom that I so desperately longed for. Freedom I found. Freedom that can be yours too.