Even with the strongest motivation to make the ideal of love a
reality, men and women have always had the greatest difficultly in
bringing such desire to fulfilment in a world that does not
understand deep feeling, dominated as it is by the tenets of
materialism. Consequently, intimate companionship, as a unique,
mutually reinforcing partnership that develops within a particular
social and economic context, must be carefully considered from
various perspectives. Indeed, even in the happiest marriage, the
couple do not live on an island, but are affected by the events
that unfold around them. The expression of "love" is more than
simply two people occupying the same residence, for they must deal
with mundane issues, such as income and employment, as well as
bills and expenses. Western society has offered guidance in the
form of viable patterns of living, a succession of accomplishments,
that can lead to contentment, but finding these "pathways" in the
modern age can be elusive.In The Dimensions of Companionship, Paul
Dennis Sporer examines the realities of marriage in the
contemporary world, where the individual attempts to reconcile
complex emotional desires with numerous material demands. Through
exacting and innovative use of statistics and records, Sporer
undertakes an unprecedented wide-ranging analysis of how economic
and social factors affect the individual's interpretation of
intimate relationships, by studying the interactions between living
arrangements, education, mass communication, and the desire for
privacy. Using these methods, this work attempts to address the
issue of whether the modern preoccupations with self-sufficiency
and social advancement are compatible with married life. Sporer
investigates the problems that can arise when the various forces of
society interfere with the individual's endeavor to plan his life
in a way that takes into account the strengths and limitations of
his own personality. Many men and women claim that they have
"freely" selected their life path, especially in the domain of
relationships. This independent attitude has resulted in an
alteration in the timeline of meaningful events, and the attainment
of important roles, such as graduate, career person, spouse, and
parent, now occurs in a different sequence than in the past,
leading to difficulties in obtaining both occupation and
relationship satisfaction. The common view is that modern people
are strong enough to tolerate emotional denial, but evidence
indicates that the opposite is true, and people will take whatever
steps necessary to obtain the happiness that they lack. Research
shows that a seemingly "irrational" desire to inaugurate an
intimate relationship is often the result of background issues,
such as a lack of privacy, a large family, or the loss of a parent,
particularly a father who acted as a mentor; the relationship is
sought that will provide the emotional and mental support that was
lacking at home. Various factors, therefore, can lead to delaying
or denying the experience of beneficial companionship. The men and
women of our time undoubtedly utilize much of their intellectual
and emotional energy for the purpose of increasing their income and
career status. Sporer concludes that, despite this materialistic
emphasis, the ultimate goal for all individuals is to develop and
maintain a companionate relationship that delivers respect and
consideration, in congruence with the requirements of a modern
industrial social environment. However, the influences that can
bring about failure in marriage are more powerful than ever, and
ironically, this is happening in a period when marriage is the only
truly stable intimate relationship. The Dimensions of Companionship
puts forward the idea that any intelligent and resourceful man or
woman can bring their ideal of love into reality, by understanding
the way in which the material demands of life integrate with
individual motivations.
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