In this second book of the BDSM Relationships series, Peter Masters
takes as a starting point the principles and psychology of BDSM
which he talked about in book one, and then places them in
practical contexts, looking at how real-life BDSM activities and
relationships serve to satisfy the wants and needs of
practitioners. In particular, he takes the three BDSM pillars
described in book one, looks at the effects that different BDSM
activities and relationship types have on these, and shows the
effects on both the wants and needs met by BDSM, and on the BDSM
relationships themselves. Fundamental to this is, on the one hand,
the role which the relationship has in allowing engaging and
satisfying BDSM activities to be pursued and, on the other hand,
the role which BDSM itself has in supporting and consolidating the
relationship. Importantly, a longer-term relationship founded on
trust and familiarity often forms a context in which much more
profound experiences can be had than those you can find in a casual
encounter. For this reason alone, recognising the nature of BDSM
relationships and the practical possibilities which a relationship
creates is vital to many people, otherwise they simply wouldn't be
able to find the intensity they need. Trust, honesty, openness and
effective communication play a critical part in creating the
structurally sound foundation on which any BDSM relationship is
built. Typically, all of these have a greater impact on a BDSM
relationship than on a non-BDSM relationship and affect the
profound intimacy and engagement which BDSM folk often look for.
Shortcomings in any of these dramatically reduce the level of
engagement possible and, consequently, how satisfying the
relationship can be. The physical nature of a relationship is also
going to be significant factor. Do you live with your BDSM partner?
Are you only into weekend-only BDSM, or do you want it to be more
pervasive in your life? Are you looking for a slave or are you
wanting to be a slave? Does the BDSM stop at the bedroom door? Is
it only about sex? Is there a mental, spiritual, or intellectual
component to your BDSM? Is pain important? Are domination or
authority important? Is BDSM just about one thing for you, such as
bondage, or are there multiple aspects to it? How does your partner
fit into all this? Part of having a satisfying and successful BDSM
relationship is, of course, actually meeting someone, and this book
discusses how to meet new BDSM folk, how to assess what they're
looking for and how this going to fit in with what you are looking
for. Relationships don't remain static and as your own wants and
needs evolve, the the sort of relationship you may need to be in to
get those wants and needs met can change. The book looks at many of
the places your relationship may go.
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