"Selvaratnam very bravely and compellingly uses her personal
experience to shine a light on the global crisis of violence
against women. An important book for the women's rights movement,
Assume Nothing demonstrates that violence against women exists
across race, class, economic status and education levels, and may
be perpetrated by those we think of as allies! It dispels the myth
that there are certain types of victims and perpetrators. It will
help a lot of people, and particularly those who hesitate to
identify as a victim/survivor for fear of losing their grounding
both publicly and privately."-Yasmeen Hassan, Global Executive
Director, Equality Now "This courageous and terrifying book charts
the author's descent into an abusive relationship and also her
emergence from it in taut, seductive prose. Selvaratnam explains
how-even as an educated, sophisticated, liberal feminist-she was
enthralled by her lover's fame and tolerated escalating personal
violence. Her narrative is vivid and bracingly frank, a
tour-de-force of self-revelation and, ultimately, of
redemption."-Andrew Solomon, National Book Award-winning author of
Far from the Tree and The Noonday Demon Award-winning filmmaker
Tanya Selvaratnam bravely recounts the intimate abuse she suffered
from former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman,
using her story as a prism to examine the domestic violence crisis
plaguing America. When Tanya Selvaratnam met then New York State
Attorney General Eric Schneiderman at the Democratic National
Convention in July 2016, they seemed like the perfect match. Both
were Harvard alumni; both studied Chinese; both were interested in
spirituality and meditation, both were well-connected rising stars
in their professions-Selvaratnam in entertainment and the art
world; Schneiderman in law and politics. Behind closed doors,
however, Tanya's life was anything but ideal. Schneiderman became
controlling, mean, and manipulative. He drank heavily and used
sedatives. Sex turned violent, and he called Tanya-who was born in
Sri Lanka and grew up in Southern California-his "brown slave." He
isolated and manipulated her, even threatening to kill her if she
tried to leave. Twenty-five percent of women in America are victims
of domestic abuse. Tanya never thought she would be a part of this
statistic. Growing up, she witnessed her father physically and
emotionally abuse her mother. Tanya knew the patterns and signs of
domestic violence, and did not see herself as remotely vulnerable.
Yet what seemed impossible was suddenly a terrifying reality: she
was trapped in a violent relationship with one of the most powerful
men in New York. Sensitive and nuanced, written with the gripping
power of a dark psychological thriller, Assume Nothing details how
Tanya's relationship devolved into abuse, how she found the
strength to leave-risking her career, reputation, and life-and how
she reclaimed her freedom and her voice. In sharing her story,
Tanya analyzes the insidious way women from all walks of life learn
to accept abuse, and redefines what it means to be a victim of
intimate violence.
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