The stories within this book document how men and women-both straight and gay-have rearranged their lives to create harmonious kinship relationships and be successful parents after separation, thereby proving that divorce does not have to mean "unhappily ever after." Anchored in the author's personal experience, Wisdom for Separated Parents: Rearranging Around the Children to Keep Kinship Strong traces the long arc of family change through the actual words of men and women who have struggled through separation and co-parenting. This book provides stories from separated parents that share what they've learned from co-parenting and discovering new kinds of families, revealing insights on the process of untangling, rearranging, and "reinventing" straight and gay families. The extensive interviews in this book reach back as far as the 1950s and explain what it has meant to be separated for decades. These candid stories provide revelations on how to deal with the loss gracefully and minimize ill will, and recount the joys of having a bigger family and more kin connections. This book speaks to two different audiences: today's struggling parents, who will find valuable wisdom as they make crucial decisions about separation and divorce; and readers who have lived this history and will identify with the stories and gain insight and validation regarding their long-ago choices. Provides numerous insightful quotes derived from interviews with more than 50 parents Supplies a bibliography that covers topics such as post-separation parenting, stepfamilies, gay/lesbian parenting, transitions for adults, and the history of cultural and family change

This book is not just for parents! While it was initially written for them, increasingly adults working with adolescents also sought help. I tried putting something together specifically for these adults but found that the content is also in this book.These are some common woes of adolescents and adults about each other - 'My parents don't understand me.', 'Why is my child emotionally explosive all the time?', 'My parents are always nagging.', 'Teens cannot seem to be able to think about the consequence first before acting!'The understanding-divide between adolescents and adults seems to be getting wider. Concretely on a day-to-day basis, adolescents and parents are clashing with each other over mind and heart issues; and no one seemed to be able to 'get' the other. Even if one 'got it', it would not take long before one would challenge the other about it.Neuroscience has informed us that the divide has always been there and will continue to be there because it is developmental. The prefrontal cortex will only be fully developed about ten years after the limbic system becomes fully functional. These two areas are primarily responsible for setting and achieving goals, and behavioural-emotional responses, respectively. The implication of this reality is huge, and it explains the 'clash of the mind and heart' issues at so many levels; specifically, rational-emotional conflict during adult-adolescent engagement.One of the ways to reduce that conflict is to heighten the understanding of adult-child developmental realities and learn the strategies that would help the other succeed. Such endeavours seemed to benefit only the adult more because they seemed to be more matured developmentally, but if we know how to help adolescents appreciate the realities, they are able to also benefit from it and manage the constant 'clashing' with the adults.Thus, this book proposes the framework and strategies to help youths succeed and includes some stories of professional youth work, where effective youth engagement strategies are highlighted by youths themselves in retrospect.

This book is not just for parents! While it was initially written for them, increasingly adults working with adolescents also sought help. I tried putting something together specifically for these adults but found that the content is also in this book.These are some common woes of adolescents and adults about each other - 'My parents don't understand me.', 'Why is my child emotionally explosive all the time?', 'My parents are always nagging.', 'Teens cannot seem to be able to think about the consequence first before acting!'The understanding-divide between adolescents and adults seems to be getting wider. Concretely on a day-to-day basis, adolescents and parents are clashing with each other over mind and heart issues; and no one seemed to be able to 'get' the other. Even if one 'got it', it would not take long before one would challenge the other about it.Neuroscience has informed us that the divide has always been there and will continue to be there because it is developmental. The prefrontal cortex will only be fully developed about ten years after the limbic system becomes fully functional. These two areas are primarily responsible for setting and achieving goals, and behavioural-emotional responses, respectively. The implication of this reality is huge, and it explains the 'clash of the mind and heart' issues at so many levels; specifically, rational-emotional conflict during adult-adolescent engagement.One of the ways to reduce that conflict is to heighten the understanding of adult-child developmental realities and learn the strategies that would help the other succeed. Such endeavours seemed to benefit only the adult more because they seemed to be more matured developmentally, but if we know how to help adolescents appreciate the realities, they are able to also benefit from it and manage the constant 'clashing' with the adults.Thus, this book proposes the framework and strategies to help youths succeed and includes some stories of professional youth work, where effective youth engagement strategies are highlighted by youths themselves in retrospect.