When "New York Times" bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire...

What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin.

In thirty-five hilarious essays, "New York Times" bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news.

But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series.

Uncomfortably honest, "I Hate Your Guts" is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers.

Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard.

Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off.

For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, "I Hate Your Guts" is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

The hit series is now a major motion picture. Join Mr Wolf and the gang in their big screen debut! They may look like Bad Guys, but these wannabe heroes are doing good deeds ... whether you like it or not! Discover all you need to know about the baddest guys around in this all-new novel based on the major motion picture! Perfect for new and old fans of the series Based on the major motion picture From the bestselling series that has sold 8.2 million copies worldwide. with colour stills from the movie!

Inside this seriously funny un-commentary you will find the top seven lists of recently discovered businesses, pet peeves of Noah, favorite Christmas gifts for Bible characters, stand by plagues not inflicted on Egypt, biblical fitness videos, and much more! If you aren't careful, you may learn a few things about the Bible as you laugh your way through the puns, limericks, stories, and jokes told in "Bible Humor Top Seven Lists."

For every cat that hisses and stares at you, there is a happy cat somewhere in the world that would love to receive your attention. A celebration of joyful and jubilant felines, this book is especially crafted for all the cat lovers out there who are desperate to have a puss that loves them back.

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.

So, that went well …

The spring barley crop failed. Just like the oil seed rape. And the durum wheat. Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy. Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger …’

*Jeremy

Where and who do we want to be? How might we get there? What might happen if we stay on our current course? In The Future of British Politics, comedian Frankie Boyle takes a characteristically acerbic look at some of the forces that will be key in coming years, from Scottish independence and post-colonial entitlement to big tech surveillance and the looming climate catastrophe. Despite his fears that 'soon the only red tape in this country will be across the finish line of the compulsory Food Bank Olympics', he manages to locate some hopeful signs amid the gloom, reminding us that 'despair is a moment that pretends to be permanent'. This brief but mighty book is one of five that comprise the first set of FUTURES essays. Each standalone book presents the author's original vision of a singular aspect of the future which inspires in them hope or reticence, optimism or fear. Read individually, these essays will inform, entertain and challenge. Together, they form a picture of what might lie ahead, and ask the reader to imagine how we might make the transition from here to there, from now to then.

Brain Candy for expectant parents
Pregnancy is an adventure.
Lots of books tell you the basics--"the baby is the size of insert fruit here]." But pregnant science writer Jena Pincott began to wonder just how a baby might tinker with her body--and vice versa--and chased down answers to the questions she wouldn't ask her doctor, such as:
- Does stress sharpen your baby's mind--or dull it?
- Can you predict your baby's temperament?
- Why are babies born in the darker months of the year more likely to grow up to be novelty-loving risk takers?
- Are bossy, dominant women more likely to have boys?
- How can the cells left behind by your baby affect you years later?
This is a different kind of pregnancy book--thoughtful, fun, and filled with information you won't find anywhere else.

A hilarious, fully illustrated book full of tongue-in-cheek advice for surviving life as a cat parent – the perfect gift for any cat lover You have the best cat in the world, it’s true. But there’s no avoiding the fact that, perfect and adorable as they may be, there are certain elements of being a cat owner that you could do without. Those thoughtful “gifts” you find in the kitchen. The scratch-marks on the couch. Their hairballs clogging up your vacuum cleaner. Luckily, this no-nonsense guide is here to teach you all the tricks you’ll ever need to help you navigate life with your furry friend, so you can focus on the positives – like giving them head-scritches and cooing over their little toe beans. With pearls of wisdom like these, you’ll be a pro cat parent in no time: As a cat parent, you will need to work out the golden number of tummy rubs your cat will allow before they turn into an uncontrollable scratch-monster Your cat may look cute and innocent, but there’s an evil mastermind secretly at work behind all that fluff Items placed on a surface are highly offensive to cats and will be quickly dispatched to the floor, where they belong

It. Is. On. From the pen of the prolific (and bestselling) author Barney Stinson comes the indispensable guide for every Bro looking to score with The Ladies. Featuring the famous plays including: -The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn -Mrs. Stinsfire -The Ted Mosby -The Time Traveller -The 'SNASA' -The Scuba Diver -The 'He's Not Coming' ... and other greatest hits from Barney Stinson's secretPlaybookof legendary moves. So suit up and get ready to be schooled in awsomeness.

Featuring comedic captions, relatable memes and a collection of the world's most hilarious doggos, this book is a pawsome gift for anyone who enjoys preposterous pooch pics It's a truth universally acknowledged that dogs are one of the most hilarious animals on the planet. From amusingly awkward sleeping positions, to pulling bizarre expressions, to zoomies so quick they give themselves a "frighten", wherever there's a doggo there's always something silly and splendid to be seen. Funny Dogs is here to chronicle these important moments of absurdity. Within its pages, you'll find: A selection of ridiculous dogs in high-quality photo form Witty captions to make you laugh out loud Priceless expressions and relatable memes for all the moments you thought you were the only one (but realized you weren't) There is simply no end to the nonsense that dogs are capable of - and this book is here to celebrate, honour and cherish that fact.

Sure to be popular in the hipper precincts of Brooklyn (to say nothing of the Pacific Northwest), this eccentric Victorian volume makes a strong case for the universal wearing of beards.
Reminding us that since ancient times the beard has been an essential symbol of manly distinction, Thomas S. Gowing (whom we trust had a spectacular beard) presents a moral case for eschewing the bitter bite of the razor. He contrasts the vigor and daring of the bearded--say, lumberjacks and Lincoln--with the undeniable effeminacy of the shaven. Manliness is found in the follicles, and the modern man should not forget that "ladies, by their very nature, like everything manly," and cannot fail to be charmed by a fine "flow of curling comeliness." Even old men can hold on to their vitality via their beards: "The Beard keeps gradually covering, varying and beautifying, and imparts new graces even to decay, by highlighting all that is still pleasing, veiling all that is repulsive."
A truly strange polemic, "The Philosophy of Beards" is as charming as it is bizarre, the perfect gift for the manly man in your life.