The second title in the bestselling series from the brilliantly talented Liz Pichon. No school for two whole weeks! (Yeah!) I can forget ALL about lessons (and irritating things like Marcus Meldrew). And concentrate on good stuff like: Inventing new ways to annoy my sister Delia. (So many). Band practice for DOGZOMBIES (with my mate Derek). Watching TV and eating caramel wafers. Eating caramel wafers and watching TV. Excellent. Unfortunately a couple of small problems called the dentist and my big weirdo sister, Delia, seem to be getting in the way of my BRILLIANT plans . . . ABOUT THE SERIES: Written in diary form Full of Tom's doodles and pictures & his amazing sense of humour The Brilliant World of Tom Gates, was the winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Perfect gifts for boys & girls who love to laugh themselves silly The first series of The Brilliant World of Tom Gates won the Scottish BAFTA for Entertainment! Love Tom Gates? Don't miss Liz Pichon's spectacular Shoe Wars, a laugh-out-loud, gadget-packed adventure!

Jeremy takes us back to another year of life as a gentleman farmer at Diddly Squat - what could possibly go wrong this time?

Welcome back to Clarkson's farm. At the end of Jeremy's first year, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with profits of £144. And while he's mastered the art of moaning, challenges still abound.

Who knew loading a trailer was more demanding than flying a gunship? That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing? Or that it's easier to get planning permission for a nuclear power station than turning an old barn into a restaurant?

Life on Clarkson's farm may not always go according to plan. But not a day goes by when Jeremy can't say 'I've done a thing' and mean it...

a comic about dinosaurs finding meaning, together from the international bestselling team behind dinosaur therapy, @dinosandcomics including exclusive, never-before-seen bonus comics posing questions such as 'do I exist?', 'how should I live?', 'what is beauty?' in each comic, dinosaur characters explore how to exist in the modern world and meditate on what it means to 'live well'. suitable for grown-ups.

Sure, you know all about the birds and bees. But did Dad ever tell you that it wasn't a stork that put that shiny can opener in your kitchen drawer? Or paperclips started out as proud, Nazi-fighting warriors? And did he tell you how cruise control was originally conceived by a blind genius? From mullets to Silly Putty, lie detectors to karaoke, we've got the true stories behind everything you didn't think had stories. Because if you're looking for answers, In the Beginning is the place to start.

Hilarious miscellany of sex advice throughout the ages from seven-week long Balinese foreplay and Victorian Viagra to swinging tips from the 1970s. It is one of the oldest questions in the world: How do you do sex? And it has prompted some of the most stupid answers in human history. Since the dawn of civilization, a bizarrely eccentric host of self-appointed experts has befuddled, frightened and confused questioners by selling them bull about the birds and bees. Ancient Chinese Viagra was made from wasps. Medieval Indian advice books warned lovers never to have sex in front of the priest or in the middle of the road. Middle-Ages Britons claimed drunkenness was the best way to conceive, while Persians thought they could enlarge themselves with ginger and honey. And as for the Victorians and Edwardians, hot blankets were the devil's work, banisters should be banned and tight corsets could cause nymphomania. The odd playful slap wouldn't do any harm though. Here, then, is the cream of thousands of years of advice on where, when and how to put it, how to receive it, what to spread on it first and how to spend your time after it's all over. It makes you wonder how humankind ever got this far.

'Razor-sharp . . . Biting and compulsive' GRAZIA I clean the offices and bathrooms and lobby five nights a week, but my actual job is to take care of everyone. They need so much help. At night, in a corporate office block in an unnamed metropolitan city, a cleaner begins her shift. As she cleans Sad Intern's desk, she throws away some of her more alarming health supplements, and leaves her healthy snacks instead. Mr Buff's desk is immaculate, but he seems to have a secret smoking habit - not conducive to his fitness journey - which she's going to help him kick. She confiscates the knitted coaster that attractive, sensitive Yarn Guy has given to Cola Woman - someone who clips her nails in the office doesn't deserve his gifts. But tonight, while scrolling through your emails, she'll discover the secret you've been hiding - the one that will threaten her job, and the jobs of everyone she takes care of. And you're about to find out that, sometimes, your most powerful enemy is the one you don't even see.

When "New York Times" bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire...

What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin.

In thirty-five hilarious essays, "New York Times" bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news.

But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series.

Uncomfortably honest, "I Hate Your Guts" is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers.

Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard.

Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off.

For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, "I Hate Your Guts" is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

The hit series is now a major motion picture. Join Mr Wolf and the gang in their big screen debut! They may look like Bad Guys, but these wannabe heroes are doing good deeds ... whether you like it or not! Discover all you need to know about the baddest guys around in this all-new novel based on the major motion picture! Perfect for new and old fans of the series Based on the major motion picture From the bestselling series that has sold 8.2 million copies worldwide. with colour stills from the movie!

For every cat that hisses and stares at you, there is a happy cat somewhere in the world that would love to receive your attention. A celebration of joyful and jubilant felines, this book is especially crafted for all the cat lovers out there who are desperate to have a puss that loves them back.

Inside this seriously funny un-commentary you will find the top seven lists of recently discovered businesses, pet peeves of Noah, favorite Christmas gifts for Bible characters, stand by plagues not inflicted on Egypt, biblical fitness videos, and much more! If you aren't careful, you may learn a few things about the Bible as you laugh your way through the puns, limericks, stories, and jokes told in "Bible Humor Top Seven Lists."

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.

So, that went well …

The spring barley crop failed. Just like the oil seed rape. And the durum wheat. Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy. Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger …’

*Jeremy