My name is Holly Yellow. I can't spell for to ffee! At times I really thought being able to spell would feel like owning the world. Frankly, I have tried practically everything from normal tutors teaching me to crazy methods. It's only now I realise it really does not matter! Why did I think it did? Even when nothing makes any sense life goes on and so does Holly's fantasy misspellings. All the incidents actually happened a " the book is a true account of Holly's individual's experiences growing up. When you're near her you're guaranteed something is going to happen. The book gives a dyslexic humorous insight into the confusion, thinking and coping skills developed by Holly Yellow! As an author I have written this book for my friend Holly who cannot spell. All I can say if you can't spell, Oh Well What The Hell!

This book looks lightheartedly at golf and golfers, and includes some verse and cartoons illustrating many aspects of this wonderful game. The cartoons and the poems can be looked at and enjoyed individually and, perhaps, shared with others where you think the depictions might be particularly appropriate. Most golfers will be able to recognise, relive and smile at many of their own golfing experiences.

This book looks lightheartedly at golf and golfers, and includes some verse and cartoons illustrating many aspects of this wonderful game. The cartoons and the poems can be looked at and enjoyed individually and, perhaps, shared with others where you think the depictions might be particularly appropriate. Most golfers will be able to recognise, relive and smile at many of their own golfing experiences.

Frankie Flynn is a hunted man. Hunted by a gang of murderous thugs, by the police, the Irish intelligence service, his best friend Joe, and his own ever-loving wife, Peggy. Even Frankie's dog is out to get him.He did nothing to bring any of this on himself. By nature he is a kind, selfless and public-spirited person. He goes out of his way to give advice and support to friends and neighbours, even when the bastards don't deserve it. All he ever asks is to be left in peace to watch football on the telly, and occasionally to stroll down to his local boozer, Magowan's, for a pint. It was Frankie who was the inspiration behind the establishment of the pub golf society. Now his personal reputation and prestige in the community rest on Magowan's beating a rival pub in a major golf challenge. How is he going to make this happen as a fugitive, cut off from all that he holds dear?

a Laugh and whole world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone. For this brave old earth must borrow its mirth, but has trouble enough of its own.a - Ella Wheeler Wilcox Colin McAllister was born in 1942 in Sao Paulo, Brazil but has lived in St Andrews since 1955. He was educated at the Abbey School, Fort Augustus and at St Andrews University, where he graduated with MA Honours in Political Economy and Geography. For 28 years he taught Economics and related subjects at Dundee College. He was Captain of the New Golf Club of St Andrews in 1999 and President of St Andrews Burns Club from 2005 to 2007. Golf is his main hobby, but other interests include Scottish history, the Gaelic language, economics and politics, good wine and malt whisky, and foreign travel. He published But Does It Scan? in 2008, Can I Scan? in 2012 and It's Quite Unscanny in 2016.

Para Handy has been sailing his way into the affections of generations of Scots since he first weighed anchor in the pages of the Glasgow Evening News in 1905. The master mariner and his crew - Dougie the mate, Macphail the engineer, Sunny Jim and the Tar - all play their part in evoking the irresistible atmosphere of a bygone age when puffers sailed between West Highland ports and the great city of Glasgow. This definitive edition contains all three collections published in the author's lifetime, as well as those that were unpublished and a new story which was discovered in 2001. Extensive notes accompany each story, providing fascinating insights into colloquialisms, place-names and historical events. This volume also includes a wealth of contemporary photographs, depicting the harbours, steamers and puffers from the age of the Vital Spark.

The latest installment in the popular, bestselling Useless Information series contains all the fun and fascinating facts no child needs to know, but would love to show off.

Here is our garden. The gate is not locked But don't venture in if you're easily shocked. We admit that our plantings won't please everyone; But if you're unsettled, that's part of the fun. See these creepers - like this one, that's wrapped round your feet? They creep terribly fast, and they only eat meat. Oh, and though they look pretty, please don't pick the flowers; They pick back, and their nails are far sharper than ours. You've seen how our chickens don't scratch in the mud? They're vampire hens, and they much prefer blood. And our goat, with the red eyes like smouldering coals? Satan's his name: he devours human souls. But don't be too frightened: all's not what it seems. These flora and fauna are tissues of dreams; And the monsters we dredge from the depths of our brain Fall asleep when we wake...or they'd drive us insane.

The second title in the bestselling series from the brilliantly talented Liz Pichon. No school for two whole weeks! (Yeah!) I can forget ALL about lessons (and irritating things like Marcus Meldrew). And concentrate on good stuff like: Inventing new ways to annoy my sister Delia. (So many). Band practice for DOGZOMBIES (with my mate Derek). Watching TV and eating caramel wafers. Eating caramel wafers and watching TV. Excellent. Unfortunately a couple of small problems called the dentist and my big weirdo sister, Delia, seem to be getting in the way of my BRILLIANT plans . . . ABOUT THE SERIES: Written in diary form Full of Tom's doodles and pictures & his amazing sense of humour The Brilliant World of Tom Gates, was the winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Perfect gifts for boys & girls who love to laugh themselves silly The first series of The Brilliant World of Tom Gates won the Scottish BAFTA for Entertainment! Love Tom Gates? Don't miss Liz Pichon's spectacular Shoe Wars, a laugh-out-loud, gadget-packed adventure!

It's time to embrace the slower pace! There's no denying it - you're OLD, but that comes with a lot of perks. You can say the most outrageous things and somehow get away with it. You can dress however you damn well please. And after learning from so many mistakes, you're now as wise as you are wizened. It's your time to recline, and this hilarious book will show you how it's done.

Eviscerated Panda - Vulgar Display of Panda is the third book that follows Reading's premier thrash band as they chase musical success and fulfilment. They play gigs in Camden, Coventry, Kentish town, Reading and High Wycombe. Often the need to also attend to the rest of their lives gate crashes their plans. Were it not for paid employment, families and the pursuit of women they would be a global success by now. They find some things are never easy, while some people are always easy. Phil revels in the attention of an interviewer, the Pandas record an album and Suzy's band management career sees her take on another group of men. Ian gets lucky, and then he gets lucky again and again. He'd like you to high five him right now. There's a metal pilgrimage to Wacken for some. The singer of another band troubles the Panda's womenfolk. A baby is born, some criminal activity occurs, a gig with a glam band bemuses. The near waking of a baby is averted by a story about Carrotlicker Tonguewiggle and chums (a band of bunny rabbits). There is a haircut, an engagement and peace made with old adversaries. If this all sounds too exciting rest assured there are also a great many band practices, cosy pub nights in the Green Man and a spot of shopping.The metal soap opera that is Eviscerated Panda continues...

A charming, funny, poignant collection of twenty-three letters from Marcel Proust to his upstairs neighbour 102 Boulevard Haussmann, an elegant address in Paris's eighth arrondissement. Upstairs lives Madame Williams, with her second husband and her harp. Downstairs lives Marcel Proust, trying to write In Search of Lost Time, but all too often distracted by the noise from upstairs. Written by Proust to Madame Williams between the years 1909 and 1919, this precious discovery of letters reveals the comings and goings of a Paris building, as seen through Proust's eyes. You'll read of the effort required to live peacefully with annoying neighbours; of the sadness of losing friends in the war; of concerts and music and writing; and, above all, of a growing, touching friendship between two lonely souls. 'Delightful. Big news for Proustians' Daily Telegraph 'If you have suffered from noisy neighbours, you will sympathize with Marcel Proust' Times Literary Supplement 'A haunting portrait of a friendship between two people who lived within earshot of one another, separated only by a few inches of plaster and floorboard, but who scarcely ever met' New Statesman

The female Bill Bryson speaks out! YANKEE DOODLES is a quirky collection of culture clash anecdotes, musings and faux pas from a humour column in The Chester Chronicle and comic articles in Cheshire Life. 'Spotted dick is a cake with raisins? Phew!' * Enjoy an American Slice of British Life * Tasty and Nourishing * Good for the Funny Bone If you don't laugh, your money back! Rina Tillinger is the embarrassing American mother of four English children - and a teacher, folk artist and cruise ship speaker. 'The phone's engaged? When's the wedding?'

'The Flynns had lived in the Daymo since the time of Brian Boru, and I was damned if I was going to move out to some miserable suburb of concrete, cars and kids just because Peggy said so. The problem was that Peggy's say-so was a powerful thing, and it would take more than my veto to stop it.' Frankie Flynn only asks to be left alone to back an occasional horse, and to enjoy a peaceful pint with his friends and neighbours. Peggy, his wife, has other ideas. She wants to get out of the city, aspiring to a life of dinner parties, kitchen diners and en suite bathrooms. As well as Peggy's threat to his lifestyle, Frankie has to contend with a malevolent dog, armed criminals, his malingering son-in-law, being barred from his favourite pub, and much more.

Unlike some other reproductions of classic texts (1) We have not used OCR(Optical Character Recognition), as this leads to bad quality books with introduced typos. (2) In books where there are images such as portraits, maps, sketches etc We have endeavoured to keep the quality of these images, so they represent accurately the original artefact. Although occasionally there may be certain imperfections with these old texts, we feel they deserve to be made available for future generations to enjoy.

What’s the difference between mazes and labyrinths? Proverbs and adages? Clementines and tangerines? Join author Eli Burnstein on a hairsplitter’s odyssey into the world of the ultra-subtle with Dictionary of Fine Distinctions. Illustrated by New Yorker cartoonist Liana Finck, this humorous dictionary takes a neurotic, brain-tickling plunge into the infinite (and infinitesimal) nuances that make up our world.

The perfect gift for book lovers, word nerds, trivia geeks, and everyday readers, this illustrated gem is more than just a book—it is an indispensable resource akin to a thesaurus but filled with charm and wit. Each entry, from “latte vs. flat white" to “Great Britain vs. The United Kingdom," is accompanied by mnemonic aids, quirky asides, and detailed illustrations, making it a standout dictionary for any bibliophile or language enthusiast's library.

For fans of The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows or Foyle's Philavery: A Treasury of Unusual Words, Dictionary of Fine Distinctions promises to be a cherished addition to the genre that offers clarity, joy, and a deeper appreciation for the subtleties of the English language. The quintessential librarian gift and English teacher gift, it’s an educational odyssey that’s as entertaining as it is enlightening.

Unlike some other reproductions of classic texts (1) We have not used OCR(Optical Character Recognition), as this leads to bad quality books with introduced typos. (2) In books where there are images such as portraits, maps, sketches etc We have endeavoured to keep the quality of these images, so they represent accurately the original artefact. Although occasionally there may be certain imperfections with these old texts, we feel they deserve to be made available for future generations to enjoy.

Unlike some other reproductions of classic texts (1) We have not used OCR(Optical Character Recognition), as this leads to bad quality books with introduced typos. (2) In books where there are images such as portraits, maps, sketches etc We have endeavoured to keep the quality of these images, so they represent accurately the original artefact. Although occasionally there may be certain imperfections with these old texts, we feel they deserve to be made available for future generations to enjoy.