From the fevered and alien parasite-infested mind of Reddit D-Lister Top_Gorilla17 comes the first volume of his tales of scum, villainy, and perhaps if you buy him enough slippery nipples, a bit of ribaldry! Behold this whimsical and disturbing peek into the psyche of the self-described Emperor of Iowa, and his many adventures, most of which really happened! Bear literary witness to the time he farted on a duly elected government official! Chortle with rapturous glee as he recounts the time he broke all ten of the commandments of the Hebrew God! Shift your weight uncomfortably as you find out, quite against your will, precisely what he means by the phrase 'Hot dogging'! So don't be caught in that airplane lavatory reading yet another Dan Patterson novel, you weenie! Instead, read the critically-ignored 'Top Gorilla's Tales Of Scum And Villainy,' which Top_Gorilla's girlfriend was heard describing as "Pretty good, I guess."

Acerbic, wisecracking and hilarious, this is the definitive essay collection from New York legend and satirist, Fran Lebowitz, star of Martin Scorsese's hit Netflix series, Pretend It's a City. 'The gold standard for intelligence, efficiency and humour. Now and forever' DAVID SEDARIS 'She's inexhaustible - her personality, her knowledge, her brilliance, most of all her humour' MARTIN SCORSESE 'The rare example of a legend living up to her own mythology. She really is THAT funny' HADLEY FREEMAN Lebowitz turns her trademark caustic wit to the vicissitudes of life - from children ('rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money') to landlords ('it is the solemn duty of every landlord to maintain an adequate supply of roaches'). And her attitude to work is the perfect antidote to our exhausting culture of self-betterment ('3.40pm. I consider getting out of bed. I reject the notion as being unduly vigorous. I read and smoke a bit more').

The Becket List is a not entirely serious compendium of ‘First World Problems’ – the sort of stuff that drives us round the bend on a daily basis. How is it that atonal music, bus stations, cling-film and coat-hangers can bugger us up so comprehensively? Or passport control people, modern poetry, or just about anything you’ll find in a typical hotel bedroom? Embracing both the inanimate – from allen keys to rawlplugs – and the animated (well, in some cases) – from your fellow-travellers to every third-rate waiter who ever walked the earth ¬– this book is essential for your sanity. As such, this comprehensive A to Z provides a signal service to humanity.