Darryl Johnson is a typical inner-city twenty-something who has been unlucky in love,having had failed relationship after failed relationship,who hangs out at the local bar that his friend,Dave Clarksville owns,with a whole assortment of characters who have nicknamed themselves after candy bars. Then,one day,Darryl meets this pretty girl from accounting, named Tyreshia Banks.He asks Tyreshia to lunch,and they soon fall madly in love,but will their relationship last,or will this be another failed relationship for poor Darryl?

This is Britain rewritten in predictive text. One man and his mobile phone gremlin take on the people, institutions and events that have shaped this country, autocorrecting as they go and uncovering some shocking home truths. So let's honour our majestic Queer Vicar, the Right Honourable Primary Monster, the National Death Device, and give thanks for that Bikini Inversion*; this is an extensive love letter (or rather text message) to this land we call home. * Queen Victoria, Prime Minister, National Health Service, Viking Invasion