My mate was selling a television cheap because the volume was broken. I couldn't turn it down. What's black and white and bad all over? These jokes! Groaning with silly gags, classic crap wisecracks, naff knock-knocks, poor puns and lame one-liners, this book will make you cry until you laugh.

'Such a lovely, funny read. Smart, witty and full of heart.' Ruth JonesNatalie and Carl are newlyweds, but the honeymoon period is over already. Carl has just announced he has bought their first home at auction without telling Natalie where it is, never mind showing her a picture of it. Natalie is horrified to discover that the dream home is in Little Wyford, mere minutes away from Carl's ex-wife Antonia. And to make matters worse, Antonia's palatial country mansion has a fully-functioning roof (and a heated swimming pool!), unlike the ramshackle cottage Carl has bought for them... Antonia is Little Wyford's Queen Bee, mistress of the book club, organiser of the Christmas Fair and leader of the ladies-who-lunch. No matter how hard she tries, Natalie just doesn't fit in, and when Antonia insists on referring to Carl as 'Our Husband', Natalie's dreams of happily-ever-after take another nose dive. Second-hand furniture has much to recommend it, especially when doing up a country cottage, second-hand clothes can be ever-so chic, but second-hand husbands are proving to be a very bad idea indeed... Can Natalie ever escape the label of Wife Number Two or is she destined to share her husband forever? Hilariously funny, wickedly witty, but with a heart of gold and a warmth and wisdom that are all its own, A Second-Hand Husband is Claire Calman's tour de force. 'So engrossing, you'll read until four in the morning!' Jilly Cooper 'With her trademark warmth and wit, Calman unpacks the secrets everyone is keeping' Wendy Holden Praise for Claire Calman: 'Don't take this hilarious, touching and very clever novel to bed if you've got to rise very early the next day, because it is so engrossing, you'll read until four in the morning. Claire Calman's plot twists and turns with endless surprises...' Jilly Cooper 'I really, really enjoyed it - I devoured it over four nights. Such a lovely, funny read. Smart, witty and full of heart. The characters were so well defined - I felt I knew them intimately. And the cottage and the pond and village - all the locations in fact were so beautifully depicted, I was completely transported there! But also the dialogue was a joy and such great humour - I laughed out loud on many occasions.' Ruth Jones 'A beautifully observed tale of new love and blending families, with a heroine I was rooting for from the very first page.' Shari Low on A Second-Hand Husband 'A beautiful book, so compassionate... and ultimately very hopeful. I enjoyed it hugely.' Marian Keyes 'A clever, bittersweet, uplifting novel' Sophie Kinsella 'Writing with proper heart' Rachel Joyce 'The characterisation is brilliant, and the astute storytelling, punctuated by stiletto-sharp wit, produces an effervescent and spirit-lifting story.' Sunday Mirror 'A poignant and beautifully articulated tale of love and loss, memory and forgetting, grief and guilt, new love and letting go. I was engrossed, often tearful, and finally, uplifted.' Isobel Wolff 'Simply wonderful. I was totally enchanted, devoured it in a day, and have been raving about it ever since.' Fiona Walker

For anyone who loved St Trinian's - old or new - or loves a cozy mystery on a grand estate filled with rather 'interesting' characters. Gemma Lamb is ready for an uneventful term at St Bride's, she's had enough of dastardly deeds and sinister strangers. However, she's barely back at school before: Unlucky in love Oriana is sneaking around at odd hours Handsome Joe is keeping secrets Militant Mavis feels a scandal is brewing It's all a bit much, so when a stranger appears, Gemma thinks she's had enough. But this stranger isn't so sinister, instead he looks rather too familiar. If Gemma can't get him away from the school the whispers and scandal his presence could unleash may just close St Bride's doors for good. Gemma's joined forces with her colleagues to save the school in the past, but this time she's going to have to do it on her own . . .