Why, after a childhood of emotional neglect and abuse, would a
man move next door to the very parents who caused him pain? And how
can a woman emerge from her mother's control in order to form
healthy adult relationships?
Giving up family attachments that failed to meet our needs as
children, David Celani argues, is the hardest psychological task an
adult can undertake. Yet the reality is that many adults re-create
the most painful aspects of their early relationships with their
parents in new relationships with peers and romantic partners,
frustrating themselves and discouraging them from leaving their
family of origin. "Leaving Home" emphasizes the life-saving
benefits of separating from destructive parents and offers a viable
program for personal emancipation.
Celani's program is based on Object-Relations Theory, a branch
of psychoanalysis developed by Scottish analyst Ronald Fairbairn.
The human personality, Fairbairn argued, is not the result of
inherited (and thus immutable) instincts. Rather, the developing
child builds internal relational templates that guide his future
interactions with others based on the conscious and unconscious
memories he internalized from his primary relationship -- the one
he experienced with his parents. While a child's attachment to
parents who were neglectful or even abusive is not uncommon, there
is a way out. Articulate, sensitive, and replete with examples from
Celani's twenty-six years of clinical practice, this book outlines
the practical steps to leaving home.
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