'Extremely compelling' - THE GUARDIAN 'It's a fascinating read...
Buy the book! Buy the book!' - JO GOOD, BBC RADIO LONDON
'Searing... funny, eloquent and honest' - PSYCHOLOGIES
'Remarkable... I hope this book finds a wide readership' -
WASHINGTON POST 'A beautifully-rendered memoir' - PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
'Often as chilling as Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, but also full of
so much inner and external turbulence that it reminded me at times
of The Bourne Identity and Memento. Readers will root for Lily,
even when she is attempting to run away from the realities and
sometimes authorities chasing her.' - HUFFPOST UK 'A harrowingly
honest memoir' - KIRKUS REVIEWS' Because We Are Bad is an
emotional, challenging read. Lily takes us deep into the heart of
the illness but she is also a deft writer, and even the darkest
moments are peppered with wit and wry observations.' - JAMES LLOYD,
OCD-UK As a child, Lily Bailey knew she was bad. By the age of 13,
she had killed someone with a thought, spread untold disease, and
spied upon her classmates. Only by performing a series of secret
routines could she correct her wrongdoing. But it was never enough.
She had a severe case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and it came
with a bizarre twist. This true story lights up the workings of the
mind like Mark Haddon or Matt Haig. Anyone who wants to know about
OCD, and how to fight back, should read this book. It is ideal for
anyone who liked books by fellow OCD sufferers Bryony Gordon (Mad
Girl, Glorious Rock Bottom), Rose Cartwright (Pure), and David Adam
(The Man Who Couldn't Stop: The Truth About OCD). EXTRACT Chapter
1: Chesbury Hospital From the outside, Chesbury Hospital in London
looks like a castle that got lost and was plonked down in the wrong
place. It is long and white, with battlements and arched windows
from which princesses could call down, in the chapter before they
are saved. But it's not entirely believable. Where the portcullis
should be, there are giant glass doors. Walk through them, and you
could be in a five-star hotel. The man at reception wears a suit
and tie and asks if he can help, like he's going to book you a
table. A glass cupboard showcases the gifts sold by reception: bath
oils, rejuvenating face cream, and Green & Black's chocolate,
just in case you arrive empty-handed to see a crazy relative and
need an icebreaker. The walls, lampshades, window fittings, and
radiators are all a similar, unnameable colour, somewhere between
brown, yellow, and cream. A looping gold chandelier is suspended by
a heavy chain; the fireplace has marble columns. The members of
staff have busy, preoccupied faces-until they come close to you,
when their mouths break into wide, fixed smiles. Compared with the
Harley Street clinic, there is a superior choice of herbal teas.
When the police arrived after the escape, Mum cried a lot; then she
shouted. Now she has assumed a sense of British resolve. She
queries: 'Wild Jasmine, Purple Rose, or Earl Grey?' A nurse checks
through my bag, which has been lugged upstairs. She takes the razor
(fair enough), tweezers (sort of fair enough), a bottle of Baileys
lying forgotten in the handbag (definitely fair enough), and
headphones (definitely not fair enough). There would never be a
hanging: far too much mess. The observation room is next to the
nurses' station; they keep you there until you are no longer a risk
to yourself. It is 10th January, 2013, and I am 19. ABOUT THE
WRITER Lily Bailey is a model, writer, and mental health
campaigner. As a child and teenager, Lily suffered from severe
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She kept her illness private,
until the widespread misunderstanding of the disorder spurred her
into action. She began campaigning for better awareness and
understanding of OCD, and has tried to stop companies making
products that trivialise the illness.
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