Bonding Eros with virtue is neither unrealistic nor naive, contends
Mike Martin. On the contrary, it's practical, even pragmatic.
Virtues serve to focus, structure, and even define erotic love. In
particular, caring, respect, faithfulness, honesty, fairness,
wisdom, and gratitude are central to successful, long-term
relationships.
"In Love's Virtues," Martin takes a look at why moral values
enhance and solidify erotic and marital relationships. In the
process, he challenges the widespread cynicism about marriage while
remaining sensitive to the innumerable problems confronting
couples. His approach to marital love is both traditional and
modern. Traditional, by seeking to understand the moral
significance of relationships based on long-term and lifelong
commitments to love. Modern, by proceeding within a pluralist
framework that affirms many kinds of erotic love, depending on the
ideals partners embrace and their interpretations (within limits)
of love's virtues.
Marriages, as Martin understands them, are moral relationships
that involve sexual desires (at some time during the relationship)
and are based on long-term commitment, whether or not those
commitments are formally sanctioned by legal or religious
authorities. In this sense, marriages are not restricted by the
law, religious tenets, or the partners' sexual orientation.
Drawing on literature, psychology, and philosophy--from Plato
and Shakespeare to Ingmar Bergman, Robert Bellah, and Carol
Gilligan; from Tolstoy and D.H. Lawrence to Erich Fromm, Erica
Jong, and Alice Walker--Martin reminds us that virtuous erotic love
is a way to morally value another person. Understanding love as a
virtue-structured way to appreciate others, he illustrates, is
itself a step toward renewing marital faith.
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