As a child I would often lie awake at night, praying that through some
miracle I would be woken up by people who had come to take me back to
my rightful family, and that those I had come to know as my parents
would tell me the truth: that I was, in fact, adopted and had been born
a girl and they had had a doctor operate on me.’
Growing up as Kgositsile, meaning ‘king’, Tshiamo Modisane
always knew that she was a girl despite her assigned birth gender. This
talented child of a pastor from KwaThema and Daveyton townships near
Johannesburg was expected to conform to conservative black culture’s
expectations for a male, and would endure censure and even abuse from
family, friends, peers and strangers into adulthood. Yet Tshiamo began
making courageous choices at the age of five, a journey of both
self-doubt and self-belief that culminated in gender-affirmation
surgery in her thirties. With sass, faith and baked-in confidence from
her family ties to the entertainment world, she successfully
transitioned from male to female while navigating a career as an
actress, celebrity stylist and Lux’s first gender-non-conforming brand
ambassador.
As admirable as it is affirming, this poignant memoir examines past
hurts and present truths, and opens up a sorely needed discussion about
unconditional acceptance.
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