The very possibly hopefully billion-copy-selling parody of the million-copy bestseller, The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse - for our times and for parents everywhere 'It's alright,' said the Penguin, in exactly the sort of way that Penguins don't. 'This is the only book you'll ever need to find complete happiness.' Because it's been a bit of a trying time, hasn't it? You now know that your five-year-old is better at maths than you. And English. And at not crying during work. And the only way to get through it with a smile has been to buy all the booze and try to remember how to do 'going out'. But don't worry, here to paper over all the cracks is a touching book, full of tender animal friends, pretty pictures and not too many words. A book for our times - to remind us of the precious joys of having all the family together, non-stop, twenty-four hours a day. Owning it will make you happy. Giving it to other people will make you seem kind. Reading it will remind you that you're nearly out of gin.

There's little that can beat the perfect simplicity of a bike ride.

There are many reasons why cycling has such enduring appeal. For some, it is the relaxation and freedom that biking offers – what could be better than pedalling away and leaving our troubles behind? For others, cycling is the perfect means of building strength and fitness. Indeed, it can be one of the most challenging sports on the planet – from amateurs testing themselves to the limit to professionals competing in some of the toughest races in the world.

Packed full of wise, witty and inspirational quotes, The Little Book of Cycling is the perfect gift for cyclists of all levels. From the simple exhilaration of freewheeling downhill to the arduous challenges faced by the endurance cyclist, this is the ultimate ode to the love of two wheels.

60 Tantalisingly Tropical Cocktails! Rum is on the rise as one of the fastest-growing spirits in the drinks market; the variety of the rums you can buy is growing in number, so much so that you can now find Cachaca, British and even French Caribbean rum, all with deliciously different notes. Known to be one of the sweeter spirits, it is revered in tried-and-tested cocktail classics such as the Mojito, Daiquiri, Pina Colada, and Dark 'n' Stormy, as well as in creative new twists like the Flaming Dr Pepper, Golden Wave and Hot Buttered Rum. And of course some rum punch sharers for those sunny summer gatherings! Here, in one fabulous collection of fruity, smooth and fun recipes, you'll find all the cocktails you need to get that rum cocktail fix!

The Insta Grammar series steers clear of all clichés and shows you the most interesting corners of the highly popular social media website Instagram. After Cats, City, Nordic, Green, Graphic, Dogs, Unicorn and Cars, three new books now join the impressive series: Love, Cute and On the Road. Hitching a ride on the back of today's cute babies and animals trend that's flooding Instagram, Cute shows you the most original posts and cutest images that will leave no one untouched. Love increases your heart rate and is the ultimate but just a little different wedding or Valentine gift, and On the Road compiles the coolest and most impressive travel images, scenic places, into the ocean or the northern lights.

The perfect gift for Disney lovers, this quote book is filled with wise words from Disney's most inspirational characters. Each quote is typographically designed, incorporating elements from the animated film it is drawn from. With over 50 quotes, there's a quote for every situation from advice on love and relationships, to motivational quotes on success, working as a team and achieving your dreams.

How do you light a decent campfire? What can you do if it rains? And what exactly is 'glamping'? Find the answer to all these and more inside The Camping Pocket Bible, a camping gift full of camping tips and trivia for the first-time and the experienced camper alike - whether you know your A-frame from your I-pole or are still trying to work out your bivvy from your billy. From the basics of pitching a tent and lighting a campfire to fun ideas for the more experienced camper, you'll find all the essential information you need to know about camping in this one handy easy-to-read guide. Inside The Camping Pocket Bible discover the enduring popularity of camping from Baden Powell and the Scout Movement to the resurgence of 'staycations' today. Dip in to ideas for fantastic food you can cook on a camping stove or barbeque, learn campfire songs and make sure you've got all the right camping equipment to make sure you have the best camping holiday. Taking your kids camping? Find out the extra camping equipment you need and be prepared with camping friendly games and activities to keep the kids entertained. Looking for a more unusual romantic getaway? Discover some of the more unusual types of 'tent' available - from gypsy caravans and log cabins to double decker buses and vintage American caravans. The Camping Pocket Bible also includes fascinating trivia about how camping has developed since the very first campsites, innovative tips on what to do if (or when?) it rains and information on wild camping through to yurts, bell tents and other luxury camping ideas as made famous by celebrity 'glampers' Kate Moss, Sienna Miller and Jamie Oliver. Inside, you'll find out where you can enjoy camping complete with the luxuries of iPod docking stations, and wood burning stove, as well as learn how to deal with mud, lack of showers and hangovers with your very own festival camping survival guide an. The Camping Pocket Bible also contains useful details on the Countryside Code, basic first aid and camping etiquette and hygiene and offers ideas about how to get yourself in the camping mood with some classic camping films... Small, durable and perfectly designed to be carried on camping trips, make sure The Camping Pocket Bible is a firm fixture on your camping checklist. 'I've had 20 years of jet-setting around the world, but nothing beats a simple camping holiday in the UK with my husband and two small boys.' Sarah Beeny 'To look at the birds, go hiking, camping and jogging and running, walking along the beach, playing games and sometimes being alone with the great outdoors... It's very special to me.' Larry Wilcox 'All I need is a beautiful view, a tarpaulin on the ground, a bedroll and a small fire.' Saba Douglas-Hamilton 'Is it weird, taking my Louis Vuitton bag camping?' Jessica Simpson This beautiful hardback edition has both dust-cover and gold embossing on the spine making it the perfect gift. Every Pocket Bible is lovingly crafted to give you a unique mix of useful references, handy tips and fascinating trivia that will enlighten and entertain you at every page. There is a Pocket Bible for everyone... Other titles in the series: The DIY Pocket Bible, The Railway Pocket Bible, The London Pocket Bible, The Allotment Pocket Bible and The Outdoor Pocket Bible.

The ideal gift for su doku enthusiasts. Posing an even greater challenge than Fiendish Su Doku puzzles, this bumper collection of more than 360 puzzles is for hard-core Su Doku solvers. Selected from the pages of The Times these puzzles will keep even the most eager enthusiasts entertained for hours. Killer Su Doku, takes Su Doku to the next level. The puzzles use the same 9x9 grid but there is a double challenge. The aim is not only to complete every row, column and cube so that it contains the digits 1-9, it is also necessary to ensure that the outlined cubes add up to the same number. Puzzles in this collection are taken from Times Killer Su Doku Books 2, 3 and 4.

The perfect Valentine's Day gift! AS FEATURED IN THE SUN Everything you need to know to have the best sex according to your star sign. Next time you have sex, you'll be seeing stars... Harness the power of the zodiac to guide you to pleasure that's out of this world. From what sex positions will have you ascending, to the turn-ons that'll make more than just the moon rise, as well sex toys, masturbation tips and more - this little book has big astrology energy. A cheeky hardback with foil on the cover corresponding to your sign's element (earth, water, air or fire) and illustrations throughout - this is the perfect guide for out-of-this-world fun. It's time to let your ruling planet show you how to rule the bedroom.

It's more than just a radio station - Radio 4 is a celebration of curiosity, knowledge and entertainment, and it's a beloved soundtrack to life for millions of Britons. But for the moments when you're not tuning in, how about a puzzle or two to pass the time? From quizzes and riddles to crosswords and sudoku, whether you're an expert on all things Radio 4 or merely a casual listener, there's plenty in these pages to tickle your fancy and tease your brain.

From the monotonous lark to the rough-faced shag, these poor birds have us all asking: ARE ORNITHOLOGISTS OK? Some people will literally name all the birds instead of going to therapy, and this book exposes all the weird and wonderful monikers these poor feathered creatures have been tarred with. From the go-away-bird and the common loon to the sad flycatcher and the sombre tit, we seriously have to wonder why such disturbed ornithologists even went into this line of work. Tits, Boobies and Loons is for all fans of birds, language and rude words. Or anyone who secretly considers themselves a bit of a red-rumped bush tyrant.

From the renowned naturalist Stephen Moss comes the must-have gift for bird lovers this Christmas. 'Wherever there is a stretch of water for them to find food and make their nest, you will come across swans' With beautiful illustrations throughout, this eye-opening biography reveals the hidden secrets of one of Britain's best-known birds. The Mute Swan is not so much a bird, as a national treasure: the avian equivalent of Sir David Attenborough or the Queen. These huge and stately creatures are part of our urban and rural landscapes, a constant presence on lakes, rivers and ponds throughout Britain. Yet despite their familiarity, they are often misunderstood; and while many people love swans, others fear them. Swans also feature in myths and legends, art and literature, dance and music, not just in Britain but all around the world. Stephen Moss delves into the facts and fiction about these charismatic birds, describes their seasonal life cycle and examines their central role in our history and culture. He also includes stories about 'wild swans' - Whooper and Bewicks - that visit us in winter; and the Black Swan of Australia. 'A superb naturalist and writer' Chris Packham 'Moss has carved out an enviable niche as a chronicler of the natural world' Daily Mail

The psychological impulse to discern faces in random patterns on inanimate objects is known as pareidolia. It has brought us the Virgin Mary on a cheese sandwich, the shroud of Turin, Elvis in a cup of coffee, the man in the moon, and Aunt Mary in a cloud formation. In this delightful and funny gift book, you can test your ability to find faces in all kinds of places, including building facades, electrical sockets, and fruit. Examples of pareidolia are all around us, and you will be amazed at what you will see!

The Irish famously have a way with words and this beautifully illustrated selection includes the best of Irish wit and wisdom to amuse and entertain on any occasion. Enjoy the stunning wit of some of Ireland's finest writers, as well as words of unparalleled wisdom that are woven into the fabric of the language of this island.

The best dads are like the best coaches: they motivate, support, mentor, encourage, and guide. In this perfect-for-gifting book, parenting expert and author of Dad's Playbook (almost 100,000 copies sold) Tom Limbert gathers inspiration from some of the biggest names in sports about the lessons they learned from their dads in order to triumph and thrive. Reflections from the likes of Stephen Curry, Natalie Coughlin, Tom Brady, and others are gathered into chapters about values that are powerful on and off the field, such as discipline, enthusiasm, and commitment. Packaged as a handsome hardcover, this motivating and entertaining book is the perfect way to show any father or father-to-be that they are the world's Most Valuable Dad.

The ideal gift for su doku enthusiasts. If you like to live dangerously and push beyond your mental comfort zone, steel yourself for The Times' toughest Ultimate Killer puzzles. A bumper collection of more than 360 puzzles for hard-core solvers. Selected from The Times these puzzles will challenge the sharpest minds. Includes Deadly-level Killer puzzles, and Extra Deadly, to really test your limits: this is the only place you'll find such a torturous collection in a single book. These puzzles are not for the fainthearted, they use the same 9x9 grid as Su Doku, and have an added mathematical challenge. The aim is not only to complete every row, column and cube so that it contains the digits 1-9, it is also necessary to ensure that the outlined cubes add up to the same number as well. But unlike with previous books, there is no chance to ease yourself in with Easy, or even Tough puzzles: this book is the Ultimate Killer Su Doku - completely deadly. Puzzles in this collection are taken from Times Ultimate Killer Su Doku Books 5, 6 and 7.

Challenge yourself with word puzzles From the puzzles section of The Times our Editors have chosen 300 of the best general-knowledge and definition crossword puzzles to keep even the most eager enthusiasts entertained for hours. This collection of 300 accessible puzzles are utterly addictive, yet concise enough to be solved relatively quickly. Encompassing a wide range of subjects including geography, literature, history and culture, these general-knowledge and definition-based puzzles will test your word power and broaden your horizons at the same time. With clues that are satisfyingly skillful and containing no cryptic elements, these crosswords are guaranteed to stretch your mind and entertain you equally. Puzzles selected from Times Quick Crossword Books 17, 18 and 19.

In 1969, John Julius Norwich, the legendary popular historian, gathered together the favourite things he'd come across in the last 365 days into one short charming pamphlet. Initially just a treat for his friends, it rapidly turned into a huge word-of-mouth success. And soon the arrival of John Julius Norwich's latest 'Christmas Cracker' became as essential a part of the English Christmas experience as holly and mistletoe. Norwich had a brilliant eye for a story and telling detail, and his Crackers are full of jokes, warmth and wit. Here in one bumper book is his final and 50th Christmas Cracker, alongside all the very best bits as picked out by his daughter Artemis Cooper. This is the perfect Christmas gift.

An entertaining, informative, and elegantly designed guide that makes understanding punctuation marks and symbols simple and fun. A rollicking linguistic ride for fans of Eats, Shoots & Leaves and Just My Type. What is the purpose of the comma - perhaps the most used symbol in the English language - and what are the proper uses of the asterisk? Do quote marks go inside or outside punctuation? What about a quote within a quote - a quote from someone quoting someone else? How much space goes on either side of an ellipsis? What's the difference between an en dash and an em dash? Snails and Monkey Tails is a show-stopping guide with more than 75 uniquely designed two-colour spreads. Award-winning graphic designer Michael Arndt explores the typographic origins, names, and shapes of both common punctuation marks and symbols, as well as the proper and diverse usage of each. From the full stop to the question mark, the semicolon to the en dash, symbols and marks are an integral part of language.

Regal, elegant, affectionate, calculating, and of course utterly adorable, the cat has been part of our lives for millennia. The Cat Book pairs stunning historical illustrations with informative and amusing text in a tour of feline history from the earliest days of civilisation to the twenty-first century. Taking in the cat goddess of Ancient Egypt, where people shaved their eyebrows to mourn the death of a cat, the medieval Irish law that calculated a cat's value at three cows, Samuel Johnson's doting care for his oyster-loving cat Hodge, Oscar, the ship's cat that survived three shipwrecks in the Second World War, and the cats of famous people from Cardinal Richelieu to Edward Lear, this is the perfect gift for the cat lover - a guide to the role of cats in history and the people who have loved them.

Celebrate the beautiful game like a true champion with this collection of footballing puzzles If you can't watch the match from the comfort of your own toilet, you need something just as gripping to keep you enthralled. Whether it's tracking down a missing boot or diving through a maze to make an incredible save, this puzzle book is just the ticket! These amusing activities and fun facts will prove a sure-fire winner with any fan of the beautiful game. From bestselling author and professional brain-teaser Hugh Jassburn, this eye-catching collection will pit your wits against such challenges as these: Unscramble the names of legendary teams in the anagram trophy cabinet Discover which team won the most trophies in Europe in the twentieth century Spot the differences between two scenes as a goalkeeper prepares to save a free kick Locate the names of international football grounds hiding inside a word search A superb gift idea, this is an all-round treat for footie obsessives and casual fans alike.

'A collection of unusual and tempting recipes' Sunday Post A uniquely British phenomenon, there is something magical about cheese on toast. Two simple ingredients that, when put together, are the greatest of comfort foods and the quickest of meals. At its most basic level, this staple of many a British teatime is a delicious pairing, as award-winning cheesemonger Steve Parker shows in this celebration of the nation's favourite cheeses British Cheese on Toast will take you on a tasting tour of British cheeses, showcasing the absolute best along the way. From Cheddar to Wensleydale via soft, blue, smoked and goat's, in this book you'll find over 100 recipes plus advice on which cheese to use with which type of bread, as well as suggestions for innovative sweet and savoury flavour combinations to take things to another level. With a handy guide to shops where artisan cheeses featured in the book can be bought, as well as tips on using supermarket and own-brand cheeses, British Cheese on Toast is a complete celebration of this traditional meal. The perfect gift for cheeselovers everywhere. Recipes include: *Isle of Mull Cheddar with Whiskey Soaked Haggis *Waterloo with Roasted Cherries *Tunworth with Roasted Garlic, Rosemary and Honey *Grandma Singleton's Lancashire Macaroni Cheese *Appleby's Cheshire with Apricots *Real Yorkshire Wensleydale with Crystallised Ginger *Old Winchester Aubergine Parmigiana *Colston Bassett Stilton with Figs and Honey *Cornish Blue with Tenderstem Broccoli and Almonds

The perfect parenting companion... Not suitable for children.

Mums and Dads have always yearned for a rule book, a hitchhikers' guide if you will, that spelled out for them how to raise their children properly so they grow up to be well-rounded, decent and likeable adults. Well, that book doesn't exist. And it never will. So, why not read this one instead? We won't bullshit you with lies. We're here to make you laugh.

The Little Book of Shit Baby Names ... and Other Pearls of Parenting Wisdom is the ideal antidote to a long day of looking after those little versions of yourself. This tiny tome is the perfect pick-me-up once you've dropped the kids off (at school, not a cliff) or put the baby down (to sleep) and you can finally reflect on how degrading and awful parenting is. This book will make you feel better if only because it'll teach you alternative, and perverted, lyrics to 'Wheels on the Bus'.

Packed to the gills with hilarious jokes on all things baby-related, from how to avoid choosing a shit baby name, through to scores of bite-size parenting wisdom that may one day save your sanity from leaking out of your ears.

60 tantalising tequila and mezcal cocktails Tequila and mezcal are tipped to be the hot spirits of the year, and Tequila Made Me Do It offers everything you need to create 60 tantalising cocktails right at home. Following the best-selling Prosecco Made Me Do It and Gin Made Me Do It, this enchantingly illustrated book will introduce you to the incredible world of agave-based cocktails, and showcase the true potential of spicy tequila and smoky mezcal. From the classic margarita and its hibiscus, Cadillac, and tamarind brethren, to a wide range of smoky, citrusy, and delectable cocktails, such as the Oaxacan Dead and Levitation, the recipes in this book are fun to create - and even more fun to drink! These 60 delicious cocktail recipes are illustrated with bright and beautiful original artwork by Ruby Taylor, in a book that makes a lovely gift for your friends - or yourself!