Do we remember only the stories we can live with?
The ones that make us look good in the rearview mirror? In "The
Night of the Gun," David Carr redefines memoir with the revelatory
story of his years as an addict and chronicles his journey from
crack-house regular to regular columnist for "The New York Times."
Built on sixty videotaped interviews, legal and medical records,
and three years of reporting, "The Night of the Gun" is a ferocious
tale that uses the tools of journalism to fact-check the past.
Carr's investigation of his own history reveals that his odyssey
through addiction, recovery, cancer, and life as a single parent
was far more harrowing -- and, in the end, more miraculous -- than
he allowed himself to remember. Over the course of the book, he
digs his way through a past that continues to evolve as he reports
it.
That long-ago night he was so out of his mind that his best
friend had to pull a gun on him to make him go away? A visit to the
friend twenty years later reveals that Carr was pointing the
gun.
His lucrative side business as a cocaine dealer? Not all that
lucrative, as it turned out, and filled with peril.
His belief that after his twins were born, he quickly sobered up
to become a parent? Nice story, if he could prove it.
The notion that he was an easy choice as a custodial parent once
he finally was sober? His lawyer pulls out the old file and gently
explains it was a little more complicated than that.
In one sense, the story of "The Night of the Gun" is a common
one -- a white-boy misdemeanant lands in a ditch and is restored to
sanity through the love of his family, a God of his understanding,
and a support group that will go unnamed. But when the whole truth
is told, it does not end there. After fourteen years -- or was it
thirteen? -- Carr tried an experiment in social drinking. Double
jeopardy turned out to be a game he did not play well. As a
reporter and columnist at the nation's best newspaper, he
prospered, but gained no more adeptness at mood-altering
substances. He set out to become a nice suburban alcoholic and
succeeded all too well, including two more arrests, one that
included a night in jail wearing a tuxedo.
Ferocious and eloquent, courageous and bitingly funny, "The
Night of the Gun" unravels the ways memory helps us not only create
our lives, but survive them.
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