As our population ages, more and more of us find ourselves caring for parents and loved ones _ some 8.8 million people in the UK. An invisible army of carers holding families together.

Here, Kate Mosse tells her personal story of finding herself as a carer in middle age: first, helping her mother look after her beloved father through Parkinson's, then supporting her mother in widowhood, and finally as 'an extra pair of hands' for her 90-year-old mother-in-law.

This is a story about the gentle heroism of our carers, about small everyday acts of tenderness, and finding joy in times of crisis. It's about juggling priorities, mind-numbing repetition, about guilt and powerlessness, about grief, and the solace of nature when we're exhausted or at a loss. It is also about celebrating older people, about learning to live differently _ and think differently about ageing.

But most of all, it's a story about love..

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'A heart-breaking story of courage and compassion from the front line of the toughest battle our nurses have had to fight. Anthea Allen's writing is raw, honest and full of love for those she cares for.' Susanna Reid An extraordinarily powerful memoir based on the diaries of intensive care nurse Anthea Allen, who worked on the front line of one of the largest hospitals in Europe during the Covid crisis. A nurse for 25 years, Anthea thought she had seen it all. But with Covid came the greatest trial, personally and professionally, of her life. Thrust into hourly challenges - many a matter of life and death - while on the Critical Care units of St George's in south London, Anthea processed her shocking experiences through writing. It started with an email to request biscuits. But her appeal to help boost the morale of her fellow nurses soon turned into a series of astonishingly moving stories detailing the realities of being a front line worker. It wasn't long before Anthea's accounts were circulating far and wide, capturing the attention of the nation and being feted by the likes of Richard Branson and Good Morning Britain's Susanna Reid. In Life, Death and Biscuits, Anthea reveals the human story behind Covid, sharing tales of hope, fear and laughter from both her 'family' of nurses and the patients she encountered. Forged in a crisis, this deeply affecting memoir offers a unique and inspiring perspective on the pandemic that simultaneously tore the world apart and brought us together. Both heart-wrenching and uplifting, it serves as a testimony to love, resilience and the human spirit.

When Jane Gross found herself suddenly thrust into a caretaker role for her eighty-five year-old mother, she was forced to face challenges that she had never imagined. As she and her younger brother struggled to move her mother into an assisted living facility, deal with seemingly never-ending costs, and adapt to the demands on her time and psyche, she learned valuable and important lessons. Here, the longtime New York Times expert on the subject of elderly care and the founder of the New Old Age blog shares her frustrating, heartbreaking, enlightening, and ultimately redemptive journey, providing us along the way with valuable information that she wishes she had known earlier. We learn why finding a general practitioner with a specialty in geriatrics should be your first move when relocating a parent; how to deal with Medicaid and Medicare; how to understand and provide for your own needs as a caretaker; and much more. Wise, smart, and ever-helpful, A Bittersweet Season is an essential guide to caring for aging parents. Includes chapters on the following subjects: Finding Our Better Selves The Myth of Assisted Living The Vestiges of Family Medicine The Best Doctors Money Can Buy The Biology, Sociology, and Psychology of Aging Therapeutic Fibs

Working Daughter is a revelatory look at who's caring for our aging population and how these unpaid family caregivers are trying to manage caring for their parents, raising their children, and pursuing their careers. It tells the story of one woman who was enjoying a fast-paced career in marketing and raising two children, until both of her parents were diagnosed with terminal illnesses on the same day. In the challenges she faced and the choices she made, readers will learn how they can navigate their own caregiving experience and/or prepare for when they are inevitably called on to care for their parents. Working Daughter sparks the conversation we so desperately need to have about women and the workplace. With 10,000 people turning 65 every day and a shortage of caregivers predicted in the next few years, it's time we talk about how family caregivers and their employers will face the impact of a rapidly aging society. This book fills the gap in the literature on women and work; there are volumes of books about managing career and children, but little advice on how to balance career and parents. Working Daughter provides a blueprint for women and a call to action for business leaders and policy makers. This is book is for women who want straight talk and real advice about the challenges of eldercare, the choices they will need to make, the aspects of caregiving they can control, and that which they cannot. And finally, Working Daughter shows family caregivers how they can achieve, the underreported but well-documented upside to caring for an aging parent, the caregiver's gain.

'Uplifting and honest, [Tender is] about resilience and learning to look after oneself so as to be better able to care for others.' KATE MOSSE 'A beautiful and important book that is both deeply engaging and usefully practical. I loved it.' CATHY RENTZENBRINK 'An insightful and well-timed book ... forces us to confront the stereotypes - and prejudices - we hold.' SUNDAY TIMES 'profoundly important...full of wisdom and bright insights on what it really means to love someone, by a fearless and generous writer. ' CLOVER STROUD 'A beautiful and timely reminder that each and every one of us has the ability to care, the capacity for empathy, and the potential to grow.' ANDY PUDDICOMBE, FOUNDER OF HEADSPACE 'A wonderful book: compassionate, honest, carefully-reasoned and genuinely helpful... This will benefit many people.' KATHERINE MAY, author of WINTERING 'An invaluable tool for any invisible carers or anyone who wants to learn how to better support their loved ones... we ALL have many, many things to learn from Penny's beautiful, wise, charming, thoughtful words' - SCARLETT CURTIS, Sunday Times bestselling author 'Moving and beautifully written, nuanced and wise, alert to every paradox at the heart of love. A hugely important book not only for current or future carers, but anyone learning to accept that life tends to resist our control.' - OLIVIA SUDJIC, author of EXPOSURE 'Tender captures the powerful capacity of people to care for others, and all the heartbreaking and heartwarming complexity that this involves. Penny brings the crucial, yet often overlooked, role of caring into our collective consciousness and, in doing so, demonstrates what it means to be human.' -DR EMMA HEPBURN, author of A TOOLKIT FOR MODERN LIFE 'Penny Wincer's TENDER manages to combine both unromanticised honesty about the realities of care with a genuine uplifting hopefulness... is a must-read.'- RUTH WHIPPMAN, author of THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS We are all likely - at some point in our lives - to face the prospect of caring for another, whether it's a parent, child or partner. It is estimated that there are 7 million people in the UK caring for loved ones. And yet these are the unpaid, unsung people whose number is rising all the time. In Tender: the imperfect art of caring, Penny Wincer combines her own experiences as a carer with the experiences of others to offer real and transformative tools and insights for navigating a situation that many of us are either facing or will face at some time. Penny Wincer has twice been a carer: first to her mother, and now as a single parent to her autistic son. Tender shows how looking after oneself is a fundamental part of caring for another, and describes the qualities that we can look to cultivate in ourselves through what may otherwise feel to be an exhausting task. Weaving her lived experience with research into resilience, perfectionism and self-compassion, Penny combines the stories of other carers alongside those who receive support - offering an often surprising and hopeful perspective. Penny hosts a podcast Not Too Busy To Write.

Research-based advice for people who care for someone with dementia

Nearly half of U.S. citizens over the age of 85 are suffering from some kind of dementia and require care. "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia" is a new kind of caregiving book. It's not about the usual techniques, but about how to manage on-going stress and grief. The book is for caregivers, family members, friends, neighbors as well as educators and professionals--anyone touched by the epidemic of dementia. Dr. Boss helps caregivers find hope in "ambiguous loss"--having a loved one both here and not here, physically present but psychologically absent.Outlines seven guidelines to stay resilient while caring for someone who has dementia Discusses the meaning of relationships with individuals who are cognitively impaired and no longer as they used to be Offers approaches to understand and cope with the emotional strain of care-giving

Boss's book builds on research and clinical experience, yet the material is presented as a conversation. She shows you a way to embrace rather than resist the ambiguity in your relationship with someone who has dementia.

A mesmerizing memoir by a talented writer on coming to terms with the unexpected. --Library Journal Marty, age 57, was given a preliminary diagnosis of ALS by his family doctor. Seven weeks later, the diagnosis was confirmed by a neurologist. Ten months and ten days later, Marty passed away. From day one, Alison, Marty's spouse of over twenty-five years, kept a journal as a way to navigate the overwhelming state of her mind and soul. Soon the rawness of her words harmonized to tell the story of Marty's diagnosis, illness, and decline. Her journal became a chronicle of caregiving as well as an emotional exploration of the tensions between the intuitive and the pragmatic, the logical and illogical, and the all-consuming demands of being both spouse and nurse. Divided into short pieces, some of which reads as free verse, Alison's words are at times profoundly intense and painfully private. The composition of the intricate notes of a life in its final movements includes another stanza of the journal that became Dance Me to the End: the guiding of children grappling with the imminent loss of a parent, and the shifting roles of family, friends, and community--all of which add their own complex rhythms. Dance Me to the End is an evocative memoir about the emotional impact of witnessing a loved one suffer from a neurological, degenerative, and terminal disease. This is a detailed account of grief, shock and pain coexisting with the levity, laughter and love shared with her husband and sons in those final months of Marty's life.

Caring for a sick child or relative at home can be a daunting task, especially if longer-term care is involved. Advice on the best remedies and how to structure your care can be invaluable. This book covers all aspects of general home nursing, including the arrangement of the patient's room, meals, taking a temperature, and washing the patient. It also details numerous holistic treatments including herbal and plant remedies, baths, foot-baths, compresses and poultices. There are specific sections on pregnancy, birth, sleep, nursing the terminally ill and death. This is a comprehensive guide to holistic home care for those nursing children and adults through an illness.

Overwhelmed by handling your aging loved one's affairs? Is your parents' estate in good order? Do you know what their wishes are and how you can honor them? Are you struggling with where your parent can be best cared for following a hospital stay? Are you feeling guilty or manipulated by your family? Using real life examples, Aging in Place is instrumental in promoting healthy family discourse on these important topics. Mary Mashburn discusses the roadblocks and pitfalls you and your family might encounter, explains many useful planning techniques, and provides information on local and national resources. Whether in the midst of a crisis or just beginning to discuss options with loved ones, you gain valuable insight and information that guides you and your family toward making the best choices that fit your unique situation. Rather than offering a magic wand to make the difficulties of aging disappear, Aging in Place offers useful information to make decisions that provide peace and strength as those who are aging and their loved ones face these challenges together.

More than 400,000 people in the United States undergo kidney dialysis. If you or a member of your family are one of them, then the prospect of a regular appointment with a dialysis machine may seem like the end of life itself. But that reaction couldn't be more wrong.
In Dialysis Without Fear, psychiatrist and dialysis patient Dr. Daniel Offer joins with his wife, Marjorie Kaiz Offer, and daughter, Susan Offer Szafir, to reveal how life can be lived--and lived well--on dialysis. Drawing on his long medical career and more than seven years of personal experience with dialysis, Dr. Offer dispels many misconceptions surrounding this treatment, explaining how you can adapt to the new diet, travel, work and continue to partake in life's joys and celebrations. But the fears and hardships can be quite real, and Dr. Offer brings his years as a psychiatrist to bear as he provides practical advice on how patients can overcome them. Walking through each step of dialysis, he explains different types of treatment, examines the pros and cons of a transplant, and discusses side effects. Since dialysis affects the entire family, Dr. Offer and his coauthors also provide realistic insights into how relatives can cope and thrive together, sharing the humor, courage, and triumphs of real families who have successfully faced the challenges of dialysis. The result is an inspiring, practical guide that will help you and your family learn to overcome the difficulties of dialysis, live without fear, and enjoy every day.

A practical, empowering guide to navigating your partner's diagnosis of a terminal or life-limiting illness, or death. Receiving the news that your partner has a terminal or life-limiting illness, or has died unexpectedly, is among the worst experiences in life. At a time when you are least able to cope, you are faced with a multitude of difficult decisions, some of which must be made quickly. What you need is a friend who has experienced everything you are about to face, who can support you as you navigate some tough, important choices. This book is that friend. There is plenty of information out there but where to start looking? What information is needed and how can it be accessed? What decisions are essential in the immediate term and what can be left until later? Throughout the book, the emphasis is on protecting and supporting those left behind by presenting almost every choice you may need to make and the possible implications of each decision. You will learn: - The importance of creating a will, arranging power of attorney, organising advanced decisions of treatment, and even getting married or entering a civil partnership - What you are entitled to from the state, the NHS and your employer - How to stabilise your finances and prepare to run a household alone - Where your partner ought to be during treatment and/or palliative care, and how to go about achieving this - Which decisions need to be made after death, from planning the funeral to accessing your partner's estate - How to navigate the grieving process and take control of a happy future No matter where you are in the process, How to Survive Losing a Loved One is a comprehensive, practical and empowering guide to coping with your partner's terminal illness and death, and building the next chapter in your life.

Carers are particularly vulnerable to feeling stressed, worried and worn down by the vast demands that often come with caregiving, be they physical, psychological or emotional. Mindfulness can be enormously beneficial to carers, whether professional or voluntary, as a means of developing greater inner stability, resilience and gaining more control over their thoughts, feelings and emotions. Mindfulness is an evidence-based approach that is proven to help protect against stress, anxiety, depression and burnout. Dr Cheryl Rezek provides an accessible introduction to mindfulness, and explains how simple mindfulness practices and psychological concepts can be used to manage the day-to-day demands of caring effectively, helping caregivers to gain a greater sense of control and maintain a more positive and balanced outlook. The book includes easy-to-use and enjoyable mindfulness exercises, short enough to fit into a busy day, as well as accompanying audio tracks to support and guide the reader through these exercises. An essential read for all those involved in caring for people with acute or long-term health and mental health conditions, disabilities and other support needs, including relatives and other informal carers, adoptive parents and foster carers, as well as professional medical, health and social care staff.

Ann Burack-Weiss explores a rich variety of published memoirs by authors who cared for ill or disabled family members. Contrary to the common belief that caregiving is nothing more than a stressful situation to be endured, memoirs describe a life transforming experience-self-discovery, a reordering of one's priorities, and a changed view of the world. "The Caregiver's Tale" offers insight and comfort to individuals caring for a loved one and is a valuable resource for all health care professionals.

Identifying common themes, Burack-Weiss describes how the illness career and social meaning of cancer, dementia, HIV/AIDS, mental illness, and chemical dependence affect the caregiving experience. She applies the same method to an examination of family roles: parents caring for ailing children, couples and siblings caring for one another, and adult children caring for aging parents.

Jamaica Kincaid, Sue Miller, Paul Monette, Kenzaburo O?, and Philip Roth are among the many authors who share their caregiving stories. Burack-Weiss provides an annotated bibliography of the more than one hundred memoirs and an accompanying chart to help readers locate those of greatest interest to them.

Genuine, life-giving spirituality calls us to be our best selves and to bring out the best in others, each and every day. It calls us to care_for God, others, and ourselves. In Practicing Presence, popular spiritual writer Kerry Walters shows us how to integrate care into our daily lives on the road to happiness and holiness. As Walters reveals, we do not need to be professional caregivers to nurture a creative, intimate, and meaningful openness to our deepest selves, to others, and to God. We simply need to be OpresentO to who God is and who we are as images of God.

This title offers a practical, visual guide for the home carer. If you're one of the millions of people who are caring for a friend or family member then the "BMA Carer's Manual" will be an essential reference. Endorsed by the British Medical Association, this is the definitive guide to caring for the elderly or sick, offering practical advice and solutions for everyday concerns such as adapting living space and safe movement and handling. Step-by-step sequences explain essential activities such as helping someone in and out of a chair and special features focus on topics relating to common conditions. "The BMA Carer's Manual" provides accessible, reliable information and is a life-saver for anyone providing short or long-term care for a sick or elderly person at home.

Mary Ellen Geist decided to leave her job as a CBS Radio anchor to return home to Michigan when her father's Alzheimer's got to be too much for her mother to shoulder alone. She chose to live her life by a different set of priorities: to be guided by her heart, not by outside accomplishment and recognition.
The New York Times wrote a front page story about Mary Ellen on Thanksgiving 2005. It was one of the most e-mailed stories for the month. Mary Ellen also kept a blog of her experiences, which received an enormous response from readers on WCBS880.com. Through her own story and through interviews with doctors and other women who've followed the "Daughter Track"--leaving a job to care for an aging parent--Geist offers eye-opening advice. She shares emotional insights on how to encourage interaction with the loved one you're caring for; how to determine daily tasks that are achievable and rewarding; how the personality of the patient affects the caregiving and the progression of the disease; as well as invaluable advice about how the reader can take care of themselves while accomplishing the Herculean task of constant caregiving to others.
Geist's years in journalism allow her to report on Boomers' caretaking dilemmas with professional objectivity, and her warm voice brings compassion and insight to one of the most difficult stituations a son or daughter may face during his or her life.

Loss and Grief: Personal Stories of Doctors and Other Healthcare Professionals is a unique collection of personal narratives that chronicle the journeys of doctors and other healthcare professionals who have been personally impacted by life-altering losses. Edited by internationally recognized practitioners of supportive care medicine and grief counseling, these are unflinching, first-person narratives of authors walking in their own shoes. The narratives reveal losses of cherished loved ones, integrity, dreams, naive views of colleagues, and the lack of institutional support for these inevitable experiences. Although the narrators are well-established leaders in their fields, serious loss brought each back to the exposed core of their most basic selves. They learned that the professional veneer was too thin to be instructive or protective. Readers might resonate with their own painful experiences and memories, and others might wonder how they will imagine their own future when these inevitable aspects of being human-loss and grief-strike them, too. In Loss and Grief, it is our hope that such openly shared feelings of isolation and suffering will humanize the loss experience, ignite prospective discussions, and illuminate opportunities for education, research and interventions to prepare us for multiple loss experiences endemic to life.

This indispensable guide aims to be a one-stop-shop for the huge percentage of the population who, now or later, find themselves in a caring role, whether that involves shopping for a housebound neighbour, or giving up work to care full-time for a disabled child or confused parent. This book will also help carers care for themselves. It looks at the difficult feelings that go hand in hand with caring, including how relationships are affected. There's guidance on what to do when a carer stops coping, and how to prepare emotionally and practically for the time when caring comes to an end.

Part of a series designed to demystify healthcare, this pocket-sized guide to high blood pressure discusses what it is, which treatment can help, and how. Each section includes questions and answers.

Crossing Over provides a unique view of patients, families, and their caregivers in the face of incurable illness. Twenty richly-detailed narratives bring vividly to life the experiences of dying and bereavement, weaving together emotions, physical symptoms, spiritual concerns, and the stresses of family life, as well as the professional and personal challenges of providing hospice and palliative care. Drawing on a variety of qualitative research methods, including participant-observation, interviews, and journal keeping, the narratives depict the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells of daily life in patients' homes and in the palliative care unit. Crossing Over moves far beyond conventional case reports in medicine, which typically concentrate narrowly on symptoms and treatments, and beyond cliches about "dying with dignity." It provides intimate views of the anger and fear, tenderness and reconciliation, jealousy and love, unexpected courage and unshakable faith, social support and "falling through the cracks," which are all part of facing death in North American society. It provides an extraordinary portrait of the processes of giving and receiving hospice and palliative care in the real world, as opposed to idealized versions in many textbooks. This edition of Crossing Over has been thoroughly revised and updated to reflect changes in hospice and palliative care and in North American society since the first edition in 2000. Chief among these are the expansion of hospice and palliative care as a field, the ravages of the COVID-19 pandemic, the wider availability of medical aid in dying, and a heightened awareness of how structural racism, classism, and other forms of discrimination shape individuals' and families' experiences right up to the close of life.

According to the Alzheimer's Association, one in ten persons over sixty-five and nearly half of those over eighty-five have Alzheimer's disease. Today, 4 million Americans have Alzheimer's disease. In a national survey, 19 million Americans said they have a family member with the ailment, and 37 million said they knew someone who had it. But when Rosette Teitel found herself in the role of caregiver to her ailing husband, she could find no books that answered her practical needs: How do you give a 170-pound man a shower? How do you pick him up when he falls? What should you anticipate as the disease progresses? What support networks are available? When is it time to consider a nursing home and how do you find one?

While many Alzheimer's disease books focus on the disease and the patient, Teitel draws on her own experience -- as well as that of a clinical psychologist, a coordinator of an Alzheimer's program at a community center, members of the Alzheimer's Foundation, a research psychologist, an elder-law attorney, and a neurologist -- to tackle subjects rarely dealt with in other self-help books. Teitel covers topics such as managing the expenses of long-term care through Medicaid, estate planning, and preparing for the patient's death and the loss of someone whose daily survival has been at the center of one's existence. The chapters deal with background information on diagnosis, treatment, and the progression of the disease; the physical and emotional changes and resources involved with the day-to-day caregiving; support networks; nursing homes; finances; death of the patient; grief, mourning, and life after the patient's death; and interviews with children caring for parents withAlzheimer's disease. In addition, Teitel provides a helpful list of frequently asked questions, scheduling and memory aids, and websites where readers can find resources.

"Our AARP members tell us that one of the most difficult challenges they face is caring for a spouse or loved one who has become disabled or terminally ill. In The Caregiving Wife's Handbook, Dr. Denholm provides the tools and practical advice caregivers need to navigate these rough waters and to emerge at peace with themselves and their loved ones."
A. Barry Rand
CEO, AARP

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Need help caring for an elderly loved one? This sensitive, reassuring guide provides strategies for assessing older persons’ needs, arranging for care, ensuring their safety, and enhancing quality of life – all while respecting their dignity. You’ll see how to manage physical disabilities and chronic health problems, evaluate nursing homes, and help elders control their destinies.

The Dummies Way

• Explanations in plain English
• "Get in, get out" information
• Icons and other navigational aids
• Tear-out cheat sheet
• Top ten lists
• A dash of humor and fun