Which day of the week do ghosts like best?
Moandays!

When's a good day for choosing new clothes?
Chooseday, of course!

Which day is a good day to have a drink?
Thirstday!

When is the best day for fish and chips?
Fryday!

The Children who sent in the jokes for this book, all enjoy a good laugh! They also include some very special children, winners of 'Child of Achievement Awards'. Celebrities involved with the charity have added their favourite jokes, to allow even more giggles from children and adults alike.

Last night, while I lay thinking here, Some Whatifs crawled inside my earAnd pranced and partied all night longAnd sang their same old Whatif song: Whatif I flunk that test?Whatif green hair grows on my chest?Whatif nobody likes me?Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me? . . .

Here in the attic of Shel Silverstein you will find Backward Bill, Sour Face Ann, the Meehoo With an Exactlywatt, and the Polar Bear in the Frigidaire. You will talk with the Broiled Face, and find out what happens when someone steals your knees, you get caught by the Quick-Digesting Gink, a mountain snores, and they've put a brassiere on the camel.

With 12 never-before-published poems, here is a special edition of this beloved poetry collection, from the creator of Where the Sidewalk ends and Falling Up.

The Cow That Went OINK is a giggle-inspiring picture book that also has a gentle message about respecting differences. A cow that oinks and a pig that moos are teased by the other barnyard animals until each teaches the other a new sound. "Pure fun," commented The Horn Book. "A delightfully silly picture book with a not-so-silly message."

How does a gardener fix a hole in his jeans?
With a vegetable patch.

How do you make antifreeze?
Hide her woolly jumper.

What did the grumpy bee say?
‘Buzz off !'

A superbly silly book packed with rib-tickling jokes, all specially selected for 8-year-olds. Puns, ‘knock knocks’ and gags galore are accompanied by hilarious illustrations to give young readers fits of giggles. The perfect gift for any 8-year-old who loves telling jokes and entertaining their friends and family!

Perfect for fans of Big Nate, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and the previous Stick Dog books, Tom Watson's hilarious series continues, and Stick Dog is in the mood for takeout! When Stick Dog and his crew unknowingly discover chopsticks, their taste buds lead them to a lakeside sushi restaurant. They see the sushi. They smell the sushi. But how are they going to get the sushi? Several things stand in Stick Dog's way. They include a squirrel eating a barbecue potato chip, a runaway canoe, and a little female human. Stick Dog must navigate around each of these obstacles if he's ever going to get some sushi for his drooling friends. It's another wacky food-snatching mission. If Stick Dog fails, Mutt, Karen, Stripes, and Poo-Poo will go to bed with empty stomachs. If he succeeds, it's sushi for everyone! The bestselling Stick Dog series is perfect for fans of such series as The Last Kids on Earth, Dog Man, Big Nate, Timmy Failure, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. A favorite of readers ages 6 to 12, both avid and less so, Stick Dog is a winner for those looking for their next funny illustrated middle grade book series. Other favorites in the series include Stick Dog Wants a Hot Dog, Stick Dog Chases a Pizza, and many more!

Squeaky Clean Knock Knock Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone "This is a book with a purpose and that purpose is fun! Filled with spontaneous explosions of laughter..." Mark Squirek, New York Journal of Books Wholesome joke book for Kids. From Craig Yoe, former Creative Director, Vice President, and General Manager of Jim Henson's Muppets and former Creative Director at Nickelodeon and Disney comes a series of wholesome joke books for kids of all ages. Squeaky Clean Super Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kidz is the second of the series and you'll want to own them all! Laugh-out-loud (LOL) funny jokes. Craig, a retired pastor, believes there is nothing better in life than making kids laugh and feel happy. He's been collecting jokes for years, and now is releasing his hand-picked jokes in the "Squeaky Clean" series; packed with wholesome, edifying, LOL funny jokes to encourage reading and entertain kids for hours. A career devoted to making kids happy. Yoe is the winner of an Eisner Award (the comics industry's equivalent of the Academy Awards) and a Gold Medal from the Society of Illustrators. He is an author, editor, art director, graphic designer, cartoonist and comics historian. Publisher Weekly says he's the "archivist of the ridiculous and the sublime" and calls his work "brilliant." Library Journal calls him "a comics guru". Jim Henson once said that "Craig brings with him his valuable creativity and enthusiasm." Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame quipped, "I keep buying books from Yoe Books as gifts, then keeping them for myself!" Perfect gift for kids (and parents and grandparents). If you and your kids enjoyed Craig Yoe's first book in this series, Squeaky Clean Super Funny Jokes for Kidz, or other books such as Silly Jokes for Silly Kids or Belly Laugh Jokes for Kids; you'll love Craig Yoe's second Squeaky Clean joke book. No boogers, ghosts, witches, scary monsters, insults or put-downs all giggle-filled good clean fun for young and old.

The #1 bestselling Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids series heads back to school with a collection of brand-new jokes that will have the whole class in stitches!

A new class clown is in town: Rob Elliott’s #1 bestselling Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids series is back with a set of jokes to last the whole school year.

With riotous jokes for every occasion—from chortling in the hallways to cackling on the bus—these instant classics full of fresh, clean humor will keep the whole school quaking with laughter!

How do bees get to class?

They take the school buzz!

Enter the hilarious world of Sam Quigley, the strange-fact-obsessed owner of two stick insects called Twiggy and Wiggy in Exploding Beetles and Inflatable Fish.

Sam really likes interesting facts, the kind that will make you shout "Wow! I never knew that". Things like:

• Woodlice don't wee – instead a smelly gas comes wafting out of their shells
• There is a fish with a stomach so stretchy it can swallow things twice as big as itself
• Bombardier beetles can explode like toxic water pistols!

From the bestselling team behind Horrible Histories - a hilarious and equally gory spin-off series delving into the diaries of famous people of the past! It's time to delve into the totally true (sort of) and incredibly intriguing pages of Henry VIII's Secret Diary. First! Terry Deary steps into the mind of one of history's most tyrannical kings, bringing you Henry VIII's thoughts on: the Plague Christmas his wives the French executions the Church his wives! Scotland feasts his wives!! hunting Horrible Histories' Secret Diaries of the most extraordinary (and Horrible) characters of all time will blow your mind. ABOUT THE SERIES Horrible Histories' Secret Diaries are the perfect introduction to important figures from history. Fully illustrated throughout and told from the character's (sometimes delusional) point of view, each diary reveals the (quite likely) inner workings of their minds during the events that shaped their lives. Covering key moments in Henry's life and the history of the Tudor period, the Secret Diary of Henry VIII reveals his: reaction to the death of his father, Henry VII experience at the field of the cloth of gold relations with the Churchhopes for a son thoughts on his enemies and his allies right up to the end of his life in 1547. Each diary is the perfect introduction to a pivotal era in British History, brilliantly immersive and sure to capture the imagination!

As the sun lights the horizon, and the mist begins to clear, what shapes do you begin to see; what noises do you hear? Perhaps you'll see a swishing tail, huge footprints, or a beak. I think I heard a distant roar...and did you hear something shriek? Giles Andreae and David Wojtowycz have combined their talents once again to create this funny, rhythmic and fact filled picture book about the lives of the great dinosaurs. From sun-up to sundown, meet the creatures that swam, roamed & flew over prehistoric earth. This title is brimming with vivid, bold illustrations paired with clever rhymes about every child's favorite: Dinosaurs!

What happens if you see twin witches?

You won’t be able to tell which witch is which

What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?

You can’t fool me, I can see right through you

These and many more howlers will make you laugh your head off (in most cases not literally).

Looking for wit, wisdom, and inspiration all within the pages of one useful book? Read Something Else.

Life is a turbulent journey, fraught with confusion, heartbreak, and inconvenience. This collection of wit and wisdom from New York Times bestselling author Lemony Snicket is unlikely to help.

It includes a new introduction filled with curious aphorisms, a handful of never-before-seen-or-heard quotations, and fan favorites from works over the years. These dubious offerings, collected from Snicket’s books, unpublished papers, and more, have been made pleasing to the eye by illustrations, select fan art, and design flourishes.

For over fifty years, Price Stern Sloan has published hundreds of supersilly Mad Libs stories. In this deluxe, oversize follow-up to Best of Mad Libs, you can join the fun with over 125 of the greatest Mad Libs stories So grab a __________________ and get started

Hundreds of silly jokes on every topic you can think of! What's the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can't dunk an elephant in your tea. Why did the monster get good marks in his exam? Because two heads are better than one. What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head? Shelley.

From the #1 bestselling author of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids comes a brand-new joke collection with hundreds of spooky knee-slappers to make you cackle about monsters, mayhem, and more. Rob Elliott's irresistible comedic genius returns to make your little ghosts and goblins laugh with nonstop puns, jokes, and other absurdities about everything that goes bump in the night. This refreshing classic is a perfect fit for the entire family to enjoy together! How does a monster like his coffee? With scream and sugar!

A funny collection of football poems by Brian Bilston, the unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter. Perfect for football fans of all ages - from the young footie fanatic to a been-to-every-game-grandma, and every 'I could've been a pro' in between. Full of poems that will make you giggle about all things football, including being left out of the World Cup squad, mum's opinion on Messi vs Ronaldo, or those unmissable fixtures: I'd love nothing more than to go outside and spend time with Mother Nature. But what can I do? It's out of my hands: Nigeria are playing Croatia 50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems includes witty chants, a haiku or two, and fun shape poems about the beautiful game. Laugh together through the Euros or Premier League games, and swap the half-time pundits for puns! 'Bilston is a magician with words' - Guardian 'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' - The Times

Play, colour and stick with a whole gang of poos! Meet all 28 poo friends - find out a fun fact about each one and add their sticker to the Poo Picture Album. Who will be your favourite? Will it be Dippy the vegetarian dinosaur poo? Or Safi the ... super ... slow ... sloth ... poo? Whoever you choose, together you'll solve puzzles, doodle and draw for hours of poo filled fun.

Poop-tastic activities include an out of this world maze through space, a haunted house spot the difference game and drawing your very own dino poos!

Join in the activities and play with over 200 poo stickers!

Every day is April Fools Day. Pure heaven for the prankster, Pranklopedia is as indispensable a compilation of pranks as Jokelopedia is a collection of jokes. Written by lontime Nickelodeon Magazine editor in chief Julie Winterbottom, Pranklopedia is a complete prank encyclopedia. It includes over 70 pranks, with step by step directions; a full colour, sixteen page insert of supplementary materials, including "tasty" soup can labels (mmm, Cream of Sparrow Soup!) and a "winning" lottery ticket; recipes for such essential prank stuff as fake snot, fake vomit, fake ice cream; tips on how to pull the perfect prank; profiles of famous pranks and pranksters; even a prank woven right into the book - spot the fake entries in the Prankster Hall of Fame. As for the pranks themselves - they're priceless. Classics like short sheeting the bed and the dancing dollar. There's the cure - mouse turd in ice - and really crude - make fake, edible dog poop. And there are pranks especially good to pull on your parents - deliver the "Take Your Teacher Home Day" letter from school and watch them freak out.

We're sailing to Scranimal Island,

It doesn't appear on most maps....

Scranimal Island is where you will find the fragrant Rhinocerose, the cunning Broccolions, and if you are really, really lucky and very, very quiet, you will spot the gentle, shy Pandaffodil. (You may even hear it yawning if the morning's just begun, watch its petals slowly open to embrace the rising sun.

So put on your pith helmet and prepare to explore a wilderness of puns and rhymes where birds, beasts, vegetables, and flowers have been mysteriously scrambled together to create creatures you've never seen before -- and are unlikely to meet again Your guides -- Jack Prelutsky, poet laureate of the elementary school set, and two-time Caldecott Honor artist Peter Sis - invite you to join them on an adventure you will never forget

Ages 4+

Hi Friend, It's me, Earth! I hope you like living on me, but we need to talk. I need your help to solve a BIG problem...You're covering me with plastic! But don't worry, I know you've got my back-after all, you do live on it. Love, Your Earth Friend Forever Told in the form of a letter from Earth to the reader, this humorous picture book takes an in-depth look at how the actions of humans, particularly their use of plastic, is impacting the planet and how they can make simple changes in their every day life to help protect the place they call home. Additional back matter includes a letter from the reader to Earth, information on what plastic is and how it's made, and scientific solutions that are currently in the works. Turn your BRAINS ON! with more books and check out: Brains On! Presents...It's Alive Brains On! Presents...Road Trip Earth