The book examines abuse (not clerical or institutional abuse). It
explores boundaries and how abuse is an invasion of boundaries. It
explores physical, emotional, verbal and financial abuse. The book
looks at the abusive personality type, and examines workplace and
school bullying. Child abuse is explored, and the issue of staying
in or leaving an abusive environment. The question of what happens
if one leaves and if it is possible to change an abusive
personality is examined. A client's story is contained in the book
and this gives a human aspect to the exploration. The majority of
relationships are healthy, and abuse can never thrive in a healthy
relationship. Love is the basis of all healthy relationships.
However, abuse is common and universal. It is perpetrated by both
men and women. It is found in every social, cultural, economic and
racial background. Professionals, white-collar workers, religious
leaders, well-educated people are just as likely to be abusive as
any other. This book examines five types of abuse - physical,
emotional/psychological/mental, verbal, sexual, and
financial/economic. Generally, they will be explored in the context
of intimate relationships. Bullying in the workplace, which can
contain all of these types of abuse, is also explored. The book
will focus on adult victims and highlight the harrowing behaviours
of abusers. However, because of its importance, there is also a
chapter on child abuse. Abuse is driven by toxic shame and rage,
and is engraved in the biology of the brain. It is also the
offspring of childhood conditioning and can be a learned behaviour,
underpinned by irrational thoughts, beliefs and values. Driven by
these, abusers use power and control to humiliate the victims,
trample on their boundaries, and exert control over them. Among
other aspects, this book will explore how the abuser tries to
control the victim's time, their material resources; controlling by
body language and gestures, by confusing the victim and defining
their reality, by blaming, and by reducing the victim's status
through demeaning behaviours, violence, sexual control, or perhaps
financial manipulation.
General
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