"Ignorense is Blis" is a collection of humorous short quotes, stories, jokes, and situations from the white board of Tom Willis, a high school science teacher in his 20th year. Tom has been using these jokes for years to greet students as they enter his classroom and get them into a better mood for learning. The humor spans from simple puns to complex science related wit meant to inspire and entertain the academically inclined through the daily drudgery of everyday school (or work) monotony.

A wacky barrage of far-fetched emails initiates bizarre, humorous, and often revealing responses. This illustrated series of practical jokes will crack you up and make you think twice about fact and fiction.

As a licensed social worker, Arnitia Walker has seen it all. She's met people from every walk of life-all trying to find their own way in this crazy world-but she's paid particular attention to the other sex. In Shake 'Em Up & They All Fall Out the Same Anitia offers up a humorous, tongue-in-cheek catalog of the various types of men she's known, including: Married - This guy is devoted to his wifey. He wears his wedding ring with pride. He has a true tan line on his ring finger because he never takes the darn ring off. He takes care of home, and his wife is his first priority. He would never dream of hurting her. Cheater - This guy couldn't be faithful if he was sitting in a church. He does not know the meaning of monogamy. To him, women are like a box of candy: soft, chewy, caramel, chocolate, smooth, fluffy, etc. He's just got to sample them all. He has to have a variety of women to meet all of his needs. Minute man - No, he's not the watch repairman. Need I say more? Filled with amusing descriptions of men, this book will shed new light on your past, current, and potential relationships. These men are your brothers, uncles, fathers, boyfriends, and husbands. As a woman, you've probably already encountered at least one man who's portrayed in this book-and if you haven't, hold on-he's probably just around the corner. For further information please feel free to email me: [email protected]

This poetry book is a compilation of my life experience as a child growing up in the depression days of the early 1900's and beyond. I lived with my parents and a talented demanding brother, in a modest two story home on a street dominated by churches, logically named Church Street. I've included the most popular poetry from my writings and pray the reader will connect to my remembrance of the past. My diverse poetry will take you thru my childhood experiences, nightmares and all, from an early age in the forties when I played drums five nights each week of the summer at Mickey's Thirst Parlor in Pennsylvania. Some of my poetry is humorous, some to make a point, some dealing with good and bad domestic/international history, and some about religious belief, philosophy, love and miscellaneous things. Readers are sure to enjoy this book. This book is dedicated to Nancy, my wife, love and confidante, and written for our daughters Paula & Becky, and grandsons Chris & Matt. john r rossbacherr

Fun about This Book If you are a prim and proper lady (and you know who you are), can't you find a book on history or religion? This book was written for "bad ass girls" of all ages. These are women who can sometimes get a little rowdy with their girlfriends (and you know who you are). If you are an English major, you need to know I am a comic story teller. You can expect fun and funny life stories, not award winning wonderful. If you are a man, what the Hell are you thinking? This book contains more delicate information that you can process. You are warned The rest of you hold on to your panties as you read interesting, inspiring and fun life stories that will have you LAUGHING OUT LOUD.

..".Carol Piner remembers her Carteret County, NC childhood with candor and sensitivity. Though it is a diary of an unruly life, it is suffused with Piner's endearing ability to find laughter, even when there is little to celebrate. Piner's debut is unflinching but always captivating. In wry and sometimes hilarious prose, she stares down disaster with righteous rage and prevails over her extraordinary life..." Kelli Creelman, Rocking Chair Bookstore
..".a remarkable achievement...formidable, honest and direct, funny and gut-wrenching...a book a first time author should be proud of..." Rod Cockshutt, Professor Emeritus, N C State
..".it is the very, very, very best book I have ever read in my life..." Susan Dail
"Was up at 5:30 reading "Evidence of Insanity" by Carol Piner. I'm halfway through & I'm crying and laughing even harder... I love to read and if any of you out there do, then you won't be wasting your money...Oh, I forgot to add, it was 11:30 last night when I laid her book on the night stand, turned off the light and fell asleep, still chuckling..." Nina Moser
..".Fasten your seat belts Her book sales are about to go through the stratosphere ...If more people had her spirit and sense of humor, we'd have a lot less crazy people out there..." Christy Robinson
..".Cool, you go, girl I'm gonna look up one day and you are going to be on Oprah " Frances Davis Cushwa

It was not long ago when forty-something C. Roberts realized his career trajectory had just peaked at the cruising speed of a 1973 Pinto. Officially at the pinnacle of mediocrity, Roberts decided he wanted to make a real difference in his career-other than bringing donuts to share on his birthday. Tying Isn't Losing details ways in which he eventually achieved his goal. In his compilation of humorous anecdotes, Roberts offers musings on a variety of subjects, including his life growing up in the Midwest and subsequent journey into manhood, during which he soon discovers that copping a marginal attitude does absolutely nothing to help move him from the slow lane into the fast track. As he details how he attended college on the "extended plan" and endured a series of mundane jobs that offered nothing but headaches and little mental stimulation, Roberts provides an eye-opening glimpse into how one man seeking his true destiny learns to look inward first in order to realize his dreams. Tying Isn't Losing shares a compelling story that offers encouragement, empathy, and humor to anyone struggling with finding their way in life.

This book is "co-authored" by eighteen dogs, all of whom have lived with the author at one time or another. The dogs lend a unique perspective into their behaviors, adventures, illnesses, accidents and humorus episodes. Animal lovers will appreciate their mindset.

"Florindo, don't let go " I yelled as he ran along side me. "Are you ready?" "No, no, don't let go, I'm not readdyyyy " In spite of my pleas, he let go. My heart thumped faster than my feet could pedal, while sweat gushed from my head as children, bikers and cars came at me from every direction. My grip on the handlebars was hard enough to squeeze chrome juice.... Riding his first two-wheeler, flying a kite armed with razorblades, or sliding over concrete into home plate are all in a day's play for a twelve-year-old in the 1953 tenement streets of New York's East Harlem. This story takes you to a fleeting time we once knew where everything was new and fun and an adventure. Climb aboard this exciting ride with our hero, his best buddies Filthy and Florindo, his nemesis Garbanzo and his personal tormenter named Norma to Coney Island, battles on rooftops, comical camping escapades and a disastrous "boys in tights" dance recital. And yes, his first love.

Wisdoms and Frustrations of fly fishing in an irreverent poem, illustrated in color. If you've ever had a day you could not catch a fish, this gives you the reasons, and possibly the solutions. A few secret flies for the Bighorn River in Montana are pictured.

10th anniversary edition. New entries and citizenship test. Tangent's biggest selling local book. Perfect gift book for young and old. Harry Stoke and Vinny Green launched the Dictionary of Bristle in 2003 to celebrate the remarkable success of their thatbebristle website a hilarious spoof news page with a passing similarity to the Bristol Evening Post's thisisbristol website. At its peak, the website enjoyed astonishing success and the Dictionary was originally published to help readers understand the nuances of the Bristolian words and phrases. The website is long gone, but the Dictionary goes from strength to strength and sells particularly strongly at Christmas through supermarkets as well as the traditional booktrade and in gift shops. Tangent Books acquired the Dictionary from Broadcast books in 2009 and released a third edition. The updated fourth edition celebrates the 10th anniversary of the original Dictionary. The book is now accepted worldwide as the authoritative guide to speaking Bristolian and has been responsible for a whole new generation of Bristolians reclaiming their distinctive dialect. Within two years of the publication of the Dictionary of Bristle the Bristolian word 'lush' was added to the Oxford English Dictionary.

Dandelions Are Nice, But Roses Are Better tells about the humorous adventures of Eric and his wife Tina Kane who own a famous restaurant and belong to a motley group called the Springvine Irregulars in a small town in Georgia. With the help of Lotty Dotty, Hitching Post, Loony Evans, and other colorful friends with specific habits, they enjoy helping others and sticking up for one another.

She was born in a foothill, along the banks of the Long Toe River, just ten miles south of the Hand-High Basin. At the tender age of sixteen she was sent to the deep piny woods of East Texas, to live among the natives. With humor, and southern jargon, Darla gives the accounts of her life events from infancy in Austin, Texas, to the maturity of adulthood in Panola County. Writing a book on the power of positive thinking, and believing in something bigger then your self, Darla answers the question that haunts millions of women in America, Is this as good as it s ever going to get? Through her experiences in child rearing, divorce, obesity, addiction, death and the affairs of the heart, she empowers all women to sing, dance, and wear red lipstick. Her journey relates to real life and how it can make or break an intelligent woman. Her views on how to wear your big girl panties, will prove, If you can t lose it, you can t hide it, then dammit; decorate it. She was born in a foothill, along the banks of the Long Toe River, just ten miles south of the Hand-High Basin. At the tender age of sixteen she was sent to the deep piny woods of East Texas, to live among the natives. With humor, and southern jargon, Darla gives the accounts of her life events from infancy in Austin, Texas, to the maturity of adulthood in Panola County. Writing a book on the power of positive thinking, and believing in something bigger then your self, Darla answers the question that haunts millions of women in America, Is this as good as it s ever going to get? Through her experiences in child rearing, divorce, obesity, addiction, death and the affairs of the heart, she empowers all women to sing, dance, and wear red lipstick. Her journey relates to real life and how it can make or break an intelligent woman. Her views on how to wear your big girl panties, will prove, If you can t lose it, you can t hide it, then dammit; decorate it. She was born in a foothill, along the banks of the Long Toe River, just ten miles south of the Hand-High Basin. At the tender age of sixteen she was sent to the deep piny woods of East Texas, to live among the natives. With humor, and southern jargon, Darla gives the accounts of her life events from infancy in Austin, Texas, to the maturity of adulthood in Panola County. Writing a book on the power of positive thinking, and believing in something bigger then your self, Darla answers the question that haunts millions of women in America, Is this as good as it s ever going to get? Through her experiences in child rearing, divorce, obesity, addiction, death and the affairs of the heart, she empowers all women to sing, dance, and wear red lipstick. Her journey relates to real life and how it can make or break an intelligent woman. Her views on how to wear your big girl panties, will prove, If you can t lose it, you can t hide it, then dammit; decorate it.

Imagine these endorsements... "The joke is on you if you don't buy this book." Jay Leno "Blankenship has an uncanny sense of humor that crosses all boundaries of fun. Everyone will laugh hysterically at these jokes." David Letterman "There is no doubt that this is the funniest collection of jokes ever - I say ever - compiled. Buy it " Jimmy Kimmel "Laughter is a constant vacation. Take the best vacation of your life for less than thirty dollars." Mary Lou Whitty "When I read this book, I must have laughed a thousand times. The humor here is global in perspective, and Douglas Blankenship is dead center with this book. It has to be a best seller, no doubt." Mary Lou Cook United States Marines