This book follows the life of, Damien Shindelman and the bizarre series of events that shaped his unique personality and path to be coming a professional oboist. From his abusive grandmother, deplorable grade school years, to his early childhood adventures, his unique story is a cleverly woven saga that will leave you shocked, bemused, and openly laughing.

His jaded yet comical portrayals of all the instruments in the orchestra will give you a new perspective on life in the symphony orchestra. From fact to fiction, every instrument has it's roast, as well as the more interesting musicians in the ensemble.You will also be able to follow the history of the Phoenix Symphony with all its struggles, set backs, and triumphs, including all the varied conductors who have graced its stage over the past thirty years.

If you ever wanted to know the inside scoop on the Phoenix Symphony and the town itself, this is the book for you.

For anyone who loved St Trinian's - old or new - or read Malory Towers as a kid. St Brides is the perfect read for you. When Gemma Lamb takes a job at a quirky English girls' boarding school, she believes she's found the perfect escape route from her controlling boyfriend - until she discovers the rest of the staff are hiding sinister secrets: Hairnet, the eccentric headmistress who doesn't hold with academic qualifications Oriana Bliss, Head of Maths and master of disguise Joscelyn Spryke, the suspiciously rugged Head of PE Geography teacher Mavis Brook, surreptitiously selling off the library books creepy night watchman Max Security, with his network of hidden tunnels Even McPhee, the school cat, is leading a double life. Tucked away in the school's beautiful private estate in the Cotswolds, can Gemma stay safe and build a new independent future, or will past secrets catch up with her and the rest of the staff? With a little help from her new friends, including some wise pupils, she's going to give it her best shot... Previously published by Debbie Young as Secrets at St Bride's.

Author Paul Palmer first began idolizing highway patrolmen when he was a boy living in Gila Bend, Arizona. As the patrolmen stopped by to visit his father, Paul soon realized that these brave men were true heroes. He had no idea then that one day he would work with the same men he held in such high esteem. As he shares a chronological glimpse into the life and career of an Arizona patrolman, Paul begins with his first job in 1966 as a dispatcher in Holbrook, Arizona, where he jokes his best view of the town was in his rearview mirror. While providing amusing portrayals of the men and women he worked with, Paul relies on slightly exaggerated real-life experiences to depict the wonderful, wild, and wacky people who made up the Arizona Highway Patrol. Paul shares his experiences of the next 40 years, serving in both civilian and sworn capacities and how he developed lasting friendships with the heroes who put their lives on the line every day to ensure the safety of others. The Arizona Highway Patrol as I Disremember It provides an unforgettable look at the humorous side of law enforcement through the eyes of one of its own.

Tales From the Pushin Off brings to life the era of the 1940's and early 1950's--of what rural life was like for families and children of that time. The stories portray the lives of a close-knit, extended family and their children, during the times of the Depression Era, WWII, food rationing, and life in a small town atop a mountain, located in the Cumberland Mountains in Southern Middle Tennessee. Most of the stories describe the deeds, misdeeds, and escapades of the author and two of his first cousins, both of whom grew up with him.

TEAR DOWN THAT WALL OF GUILT

If you are trying to raise a respectful and respectable American family and are embarrassed by the liberal media's filth and perversion you and your children are subjected to on a daily basis, remember one thing: Liberalism is at its core, licentious, morally degrading and abusive to family life. To stop the abuse you must embrace the truth: Conservatism conserves and protects family values that have made America the shining beacon of Christian family life.

To preserve the American family you must make a decision not merely to eschew liberalism and degradation but to champion conservatism and our traditional American values.

To do so you must first TEAR DOWN THAT WALL OF GUILT You must know you are guilty of nothing that may have happened to a Negro, Indian, Asian or Jew at any time in our recent or ancient past, and you must stop bowing at the silly altar of political correctness. You must regain your dignity, your individuality and your moral certitude. You must rise up and be counted as an American heart and soul, in spirit and purpose; willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to preserve America as it was founded to be and for which so many fought and died for it to be. Your children are counting on you. They will not survive as free Americans without your courage and your resolve. TEAR DOWN THAT WALL OF GUILT LET THE RECLAMATION OF AMERICA BEGIN

What is a Storyville? Whether you're in Toast, North Carolina, Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky, or Winner, South Dakota, a Storyville is a real town you can find on a map, with a tale behind its quirky name. Covering 20,000 miles of U.S. roads, Dale Peterson drove with his kids, Britt and Bayne, from Start, Louisiana, to Deadhorse, Alaska in search of small-town America in the "garage sale of the open highway." Along the way they explored open spaces, wild places, and country back roads and met people who weren't afraid to talk to one another. Together, they discovered the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells of nearly sixty small towns, as well as the zany stories behind them, guided by an AAA Road Atlas, expert local storytellers, and lots of curiosity. They dipped into Caddo Lake and the everglades of Uncertain, Texas, went a little crazy in Loco, Oklahoma, and learned about bee colonies in Climax, New York. Conversations with townsfolk range from the refrigerator at the center of Noodle, Texas, and the hazards of Accident, Maryland, to issues of civil rights, religion, and environmental preservation. Collected here are the landscapes, landmarks, faces, thoughts, and conversations of a sentimental, idiosyncratic, and often hilarious American odyssey. Storyville, USA is a long, winding trip into the back roads of the country and a longer one into the hinterland of our own hearts.

Is there anything in the world as special, loving and abjectly terrible as a dad joke? We re not talking about just some silly jokes or one-liner; these jokes are an assembly of some of the most offensive and funny jokes, puns and double entendres known to man. Guaranteed to annoy loved ones to the very brink of entertainment, these jokes are a surefire way to land some embarrassing laughs. Stubbed toe? Better call the toe truck! The best (or worst) dad jokes come from the world around us covering the essential dad joke subjects like: The family: You forgot the pickles! It s kind of a big dill. Kid jokes: What s the worst thing about being a grapefruit? That you look nothing like a grape! Insult jokes: If I wanted to hear from a butthole, I d just fart. Old age: Sometimes when I buy wine, I stand at the register a bit longer than normal hoping that the cashier asks for ID. Gain the respect and admiration (or at least the annoyance) of your friends and coworkers

'Full of wit and warmth. A must read!' Sarah BennettSome days Bee feels invisible. Most days Bee does not feel as if she is 'living her best life'.Sure she has a loyal group of friends, a job she's good at, and a small London flat to call home, but a lot of the time, Bee feels as if no one actually 'sees' her. Her best friend, the unfeasibly handsome and successful Luca Donato does not have that problem. People are practically falling over themselves whenever they see Luca, but one thing the two friends do have in common, is they haven't yet found the 'One'. When their friend Tia challenges them to change all that through online dating, Luca and Bee set about the task with very different levels of enthusiasm. The saying goes that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, and it's not long before Bee is ready to admit defeat. But with Luca inundated with potential love interests, Bee is determined not to give up. Surely her perfect partner is out there somewhere... 'Read yourself happy' with Maxine Morrey's latest heart-warming, feelgood, page-turning romance, guaranteed to make you smile. Perfect for fans of Lauren Weisberger and Sophie Kinsella. Praise for Maxine Morrey: 'Full of wit and warmth. The chemistry between Bee and Luca is fantastic and I was rooting for their happy ending from the first page! Maxine has treated us to another immensely relatable heroine and it was a joy to watch Bee slowly come into her own. A must read!' Sarah Bennett 'An uplifting read that stops you in your tracks and makes you wonder "....but what if?" Absorbing, funny and oh-so-romantic, I loved every page!' Rachel Burton 'A super sweet read, guaranteed to warm any winter evening' Samantha Tonge 'A lovely story that kept me turning the pages' Jules Wake 'A stunning, perfect novel - it literally took my breath away.' The Writing Garnet, 5 stars 'A warm hug of a book.' Rachel's Random Reads, 5 stars

Dear Mother is written as the memories of the author. By recounting the unusual happenings of his early years we find ourselves laughing at the behavior of this young man and wonder how did he live through it? Then strangely enough, readers see themselves in many similar situations. Dear Mother is completely fact as outrageous as it may seem. This book will make you laugh out loud and in the next chapter you will find your eyes watering. Dear Mother is the type of book that you do not have to think about while you are reading it. Just sit back and enjoy the author's style of telling his life story.

Strap on yir seatbelts for a brah an' bumpy ride alang eviry twist an' turn o' the Dundonese dehelict. From the vehrus to the V&Eh, from matteramonial matters to shoppin' - and never forgetting pehzn beans an' pehzn peas - Wha Bohked in the Aspadeestra? is a delightful slice of the Tayside pie. Peppered with Bob Dewar's quirky illustrations and salted with Norman Watson's tongue-in-cheek translations, this wee gem of a book will resonate with Dundonians and their kin the world over. M'wah. E've got tae skoot!

While most people will never be charged with a serious crime, either you or someone you know has appeared in a Municipal Court. Municipal Court is usually a city court that handles traffic tickets, lots of traffic tickets, and ordinance violations such as accumulation of trash, and neighbor issues such as trespass and barking dogs. Fines are imposed on the guilty. Those who work there refer to it as "Muni Court."

This court should not be confused with the television courtroom shows where two people ask a judge to resolve an issue that usually requires payment of money to one or the other of the participants, those are small claims courts. The patrons of Municipal Court are ordinary citizens who usually appear without the benefit of an attorney and provide their own defense in a forum with which they are not familiar. A few do very well in their own defense. Most simply want to get the matter behind them. But some provide a fascinating display of human ingenuity, ineptness, self rationalization and much unintended humor. Muni Court shares a few of author Bluth's experiences as a muni court judge in two rural communities.