42 Things to do When You're the Last Man on Earth is NOT - we repeat NOT - a "how to" book. If you happen to find yourself alone on the planet and you are armed only with your wits and this novel you are in serious trouble. Though before you die a horrible death we hope you take time to read the swiftly moving science fiction comedy novel about a security guard who wakes up one morning to discover everyone else on the planet had left. Now he, his super advanced talking sneakers, and a couple of other stragglers must figure out how and why everyone else left while battling evil cows, insane civil servants, and other nasty surprises. This will most likely be the most powerful book you have ever read that features talking sneakers.

Marty is a Professional Bus / Shuttle Driver and has been driving for many years. His occupation is one that puts him up front and personal with a special sector of our society; Bus Passengers. Over the years he has accumulated an assortment of short stories while driving a city transit bus; he wishes to share these stories with you. Many of these stories are serious while others are mind boggling, hilarious or just make you say, "Oh my gosh; what were they thinking." He has written this book using the following parameters: there are no swear words in this book (He doesn't need to use profanity to get his point across); he does not identify any ethnic backgrounds of the people in his stories (Marty wants people to view people without prejudice and bias) and lastly he was honest and told the truth to the best of his ability (By doing this he has found out that people don't like the truth and will go to extremes to avoid it.) Marty's' writings are unique because he writes like he talks. He does this so that he can relate to anybody who has ever told a story. The stories that he tells are inspirational, motivational and humorous. He has become a Master Story Teller and shares his stories with all who will listen. So get on board; Put your fare in the box; Grab a seat and be prepared for the ride of your life "HEY, I'M MARTY. I DRIVE THE BUS " BOOK I is currently being sold worldwide.

Fifty naughty satires that break new ground and brighten your day with tongue-in-cheek observations you can't find anywhere else, not even on "Saturday Night Live" or "Mad TV: " *Politics and Politicians *Famous Writers *Child Beauty Pageants *Modern Art *TV Commercials *Canadian Shopping *TV Reality Shows *Liberals and Left-Wingers *Public Television *Famous Talk-Show Hosts *Government Bureaucrats *Modern Music *Miss America Pageant *Home Shopping Network *Pornography *Religion *Movie and TV Stars *Travel Articles *Sports *And Much, Much More...

It is1972 in the United Kingdom and the Prime Minister, Ted Heath, is declaring a three day working week and a State of Emergency as the Coalminer s Strike begins to bite. Abba are topping the charts and Monty Python s Flying Circus are offering us something completely different on BBC2. Behind the backdrop of this we follow John Caswell, a football mad 15 year old from the Midlands as he embarks on his fi nal year at Kettering Grammar School. We suffer with him as he agonizes over his O levels in the summer of 1973 culminating in mixed results and fi nds himself working in an offi ce in a Builders Merchants with little idea of how his life is going to take off. Later that year John meets and becomes totally infl uenced by his sister s boyfriend who is in the Merchant Navy. Convinced this is the life for him John then goes to the National Sea Training School in Gravesend and we follow his exciting passage through the three month Lifeboat and Effi cient Deck Hand course before embarking on his fi rst trip to sea in September 1974 onboard the Anco Empress . We then follow him on an adventure across the oceans and upon the high seas around the World, crossing the Equator, learning his new skills and transforming a shy, timid and naive young man into an adult via Rotterdam, Montreal, New York, New Orleans, Rio De Janeiro, Durban and back to Rotterdam with hilarious and embarrassing consequences as he comes to terms with his ever changing environments and the social demands of a work hard / play hard regime.

The 1980s. A time of fear: fear of the unknown, fear of your neighbours, fear of drugs, fear of sex, fear of strangers, fear of videos, and the very real fear that the world would end at any moment in an awful, and very sudden, nuclear attack. However, in those times of turmoil and worry, there was a comfort that soothed the mind, and acted as a quiet balm: action movies. Video shops were bursting at the seams with rampant gunfire, sex, drugs, rock, roll, cars on fire, people on fire, guns, bombs, and people dressed in army fatigues (and that was just the staff). Heroes were born shrouded in fire and violent revenge, they were not only armed with guns, but also red-hot quips, that served as a muscly arm around the shoulder, and a wink that everything was going to be okay. So thank you Arnold, Sylvester, Sigourney, Bruce, Eddie, Charles, Patrick, Mel, Chuck and everyone else that made it happen. You saved the world, in your own inimitable way. Join John Rain, the author of the critically-acclaimed Thunderbook: The World of Bond According to Smersh Pod, as he examines a choice selection of the greatest action movies from the decade when the explosion was king.

The keeper of family history, the teller of tales, the collector of treasures, Betty Owen Whitehouse has woven the tapestry of her life with the threads of love, friendship, and the mentorship received from her large family and a multitude of friends, old and new. In Quotes, Quips, and Quirks she shares some of her favorite snippets gathered from a lifelong interest in literary and writing endeavors. Gathered from the women who played a role in the author's life, Quotes, Quips, and Quirks contains an array of uplifting messages: / Thought-provoking mottos / Sage advice passed down through generations / Quirky sayings that have become part of family lore / Humorous quips / Special poems / Oft-repeated proverbs / Favorite scriptures and remarks by well-known women With a blend of humor and inspiration, this collection provides food for thought in an easy-to-read format that can become a treasured keepsake.

Most of these stories are true. Some are fabrications. "The Gun Show" is one. It is a loose interpretation of an event. If you are familiar with the event, you will understand the satire. The stories, such as "The Great Possum Slayer," tell of a hunting adventure. We are all guilty of doing something to a friend in the name of fun. "The night Before Christmas" describes a practical joke that turned out better than planned Several stories, as an example, "BB'S & Bumblebees," reflect on our desire to imitate our parents. Several of the stories convey a safety message. "The Hazards of Plastic Bullets," is an example that shows what can happen in the blink of an eye when we choose to disregard a simple safety statement. Some of the stories deal with older people and a time not so long ago. These people believed that you took care of your problem. You will notice in these stories, the problem would have gone away or been taken care of long before law enforcement could arrive. With our modern communications we can now summon the Calvary in an instant. It has not been too long ago that this was not the case in a lot of areas of our great nation. "The Letter," is an adaptation of a letter I want read at my funeral. Surprise, fear, courage, fortitude and a child's belief that they are bullet proof are all expressed in stories in this book. A book of this nature easily causes us to reflect on our lives and events that have slipped into our fading memory. If this book reminds a single individual of any similar events in their past, makes them a safer individual, or makes them laugh it will have succeed in its purpose beyond expectations.

FIRST BOOK EVER THAT MUST BE READ CLOCK WISE... You want drama, entertainment, anger, humor and education all at the same time This creative emotional selection of rhyming poems are confined from dreams, ideas, family, friends, strangers and Antoinette Faine's own life experiences. Also inspired by the book "Sweetness was my Weakness" where a older female falls in love with a younger man then finds out she got more than she bargain for. Throughout the story the main characters thoughts are in rhyming poetry similar to the poems in this book. Breakfast time, bedtime or just for fun... After you read this please pray to the sun... About this book tell everyone... Enjoy it because there is more to come... Thanking you, you and you a million...

From playing hopscotch on the black and white tiles of the kitchen floor, attempting a stealth purchase of feminine protection for his wife, imitating Mighty Mouse by saving the day each morning as he bounds down the stairs or secretly being taped by Dateline NBC as he watches a "Monday Night Football" game, Heidi Rice's husband, who she affectionately calls "husband-head," is an eight-year-old, football addict trapped in a man's body and a great subject for a humor columnist. For ten years, Heidi Rice has entertained readers of all ages with her weekly "Fried Rice" humor column in the Glenwood Springs (Colo.) Post Independent, detailing life with her spouse. Now peer into the lives of the Rice's-a baby boomer couple who don't have babies but share a lot of laughs-in this sixty-column collection of her favorites. From football to family, housekeeping to holidays, there is something in Skully Says Shut It! that will assure you that (sigh) you aren't the only weirdoes in the world.

The White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Bachelor's Survival Guide and Cookbook is the hilarious story of one man's attempt to grow up in America's Heartland--with recipes tribute to family, friends, females and food as an example to uncertain young men everywhere--and to the patient people who love them. opener.

This book is an invaluable resource for those called upon to say Grace before or after a meal on formal occasions. Each one has been penned and used for a special event but can easily be adapted for your own use. These Graces have been used at the House of Lords, The House of Commons, various London Livery Companies and many other prestigious venues.

This book is a marvelous combination of humor and drama about what may be the real reason aliens were drawn to Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. The people in this story have all been drawn to Rachel, Nevada for a reason and are held there by bad experiences that have all but stopped them from living but an alien interruption changes the very routine that holds them all hostage. Sometimes what is first seen as a bad thing, ends up being the exact thing that is needed. Sticks and Stones takes you on a journey that starts with chaos and mayhem and ends with understanding and acceptance. Experience the sorrow and joy that fill the life of ordinary people surrounded by extraordinary happenings.

The Pat Hobby Stories are a collection of 17 comedic short stories written by F. Scott Fitzgerald. They first appeared in Esquire magazine between January 1940 and May 1941, but in 1962 they were collected into a single book and published posthumously.Pat Hobby is a once successful screenwriter in Hollywood, but now an alcoholic and broke, who spends his time hanging around the studio, hoping for work. The stories generally revolve around him hatching a plan to earn money or glory in some way, but they usually end in further humiliation.The introduction to the book states, "while it would be unfair to judge this book as a novel, it would be less than fair to consider it as anything but a full-length portrait. It was as such that Fitzgerald worked on it, and would have wanted it presented in book form, after its original magazine publication. He thought of it as a comedy."