At one time, Razor was a strapping, athletic, and active young man. Now, many years later, he has finally come to the realization that getting older really pisses him off. Now pear-shaped, slow, and forgetful, Razor is convinced he is not a pretty sight. Worse yet, Squatty Body-his lovely, strong-willed wife-is a real pain in his butt. In his first collection of humorous anecdotes and satirical commentary, based on real-life situations and current issues, retired teacher and avid storyteller R. D. Donaldson shares a delightful compilation of musings both hilarious and contemplative that highlight the adventures of Razor and Squatty Body-two characters loosely based on Donaldson and his own wife. Razor was born on the golf course and will do anything to win his opponents' quarters-including verbally slashing the enemy. Squatty Body is a deficient chef who has burned boiling water, screwed up buttered toast, and killed the neighbor's dog with her less-than-desirable cooking. Is the whole world going crazy? After all is said and done, Razor may just prove to everyone that he is the only sane one left standing in the midst of a bunch of nuts.

What is the one true secret to weight loss? What is the correct way to make a grilled cheese sandwich? Is the designated hitter rule the salvation of baseball or its undoing? Is it rational to be an optimist? And-the question that haunts us all- should toilet paper unwind over the top of the roll or from underneath?

In his first collection of essays, author Brian Kenneth Swain tackles hundreds of life's questions while exploring a vast array of subjects-from tubas to two year-olds, from field goals to child labor laws, and from high school shop class to the worst round of golf ever played. With an acerbic wit and an honest approach, Swain shares his perspective on such pivotal matters as how to ski without losing a limb or your self-esteem, how to correctly prepare and consume lobster according to Maine standards, and whether marketing ploys hypnotically convince consumers to replace perfectly functioning items without a second thought. Swain encourages a kind of tongue-in-cheek thinking that prompts us to take a second look at the world around us.

"The Curious Habits of Man" shares an amusing glimpse at life as one man contemplates many of our greatest-and smallest-questions.

?I cherish the fun times/laughs I have with my friend/publicist Holly, who is always so ?Jolley.? Just being in her presence makes me feel comfortable and at home - like I?ve known her a million years. I know her readers are going to feel the same. The way she words and writes things is in such a smart, but understanding way, no matter the age or the maturity level - it always leaves you wanting more.? ?Paul Jolley (American Idol - Season 12, Top 9 Finalist) ?Holly writes truthful and sincere. I know her writing comes from her heart and her experiences just from knowing her. She was the first one to write up an article about me and my hometown. Very excellent writer. Emm Hmmm.? ?Duck Dynasty's Mountain Man Are you tired of ?How-to? dating books? Well, this is not one of them. Holly Marie Tong's Chick Flicks Lie (Sugar-free Accounts of a Positive Pessimist) features laughable and engaging stories which are relative of today's dating world. Deep down, we all want the kind of love that would chase our departing plane down the tarmac and the kind of love that would try to win us back no matter what the cost. However, real life is often a far cry from a chick flick, and there isn't any background music to accompany it. With sharp wit, continual sarcasm, and non-stop humor, Chick Flicks Lie reminds the single crowd that they aren't alone. The empathetic author believes faith mixed with laughter to be the best medicine for lousy dates and failed relationships. This feel-good book will leave singles feeling understood, while giving them a whole new perspective.

Every woman has either dated a jerk, or knows a friend that has dated one. But avoiding the jerks and attracting a decent man is actually a lot easier than you think. Forget watching reruns of "Sex and the City" or chatting with your girlfriends late at night. In this guidebook, a self-professed jerk comes straight out, speaks the truth, and systematically explains how to spot, avoid, and say goodbye to jerks; tell if a guy is wasting your time; deal with players hunt for "good" men (and where to hunt for them). You'll also learn how to avoid common mistakes, such as overrating initial chemistry, inadvertently hurting a man's ego, losing a good guy's interest and much more. Full of witty satire and sarcasm. Get ready to laugh out loud with this hilarious "anti-game." What people had to say about this book: "Hey Willie, this is so entertaining Ha ha you have a great sense of humor, and your statements are so true " - Denise "We all know no one likes a tattletale. Hate the game, not the player. Every girl Tiger slept with knew he was married. Who is worse?" - Steve the player "That was such an enjoyable and enlightening read. I mean it's well written, witty, and one would think some of it is common sense, but sometimes people (i.e. me ) need common sense to slap them in the face " - Cheryl "Willie whistle blower has a nice ring to it. You know someone's going to kick your butt one day? Good work " - A guy Willie no longer parties with "I don't understand you. You go through university, build a promising career. Now you quit your job and write this book? Why would you tell the whole world you're an asshole?" - Willie's mom

Alien abduction? An evil clone bent on taking over the world? A ferret's search for the ultimate nap? Stranger things have happened, but none perhaps as captivating as the saga presented in Crittertude Volume 2: Aliens Have Taken our Cat

Dee Quemby's book is not just a wonderfully warm read but a very actual account of the most demanding and difficult life in show business, that of the COMEDIAN! I told Dee many moons ago that she should enter the idiom that is the easiest life in showbusiness, that of the TV drama actor. That of course she has done to grand acclaim. Get the book it's a great read! BILL maynard Deirdre was my first dancing teacher for 13 years and I owe her a great debt. She is a very talented performer in her own right and it would be great to dance with her again. I still think there's something very big around the corner for her! Stephen Mear (Olivier winning choreographer of Mary Poppins) Dee was brilliant as Emmerdale's Lulu Dingle. But if she'd had access to Lulu's crystal ball and been able to see how tough it would be for a mainstream comedienne to get a break in modern TV, would she have persevered? Dee's book is moving, honest and funny. Garry Bushell (tv critic)

What's morality all about? Deciding what's right or wrong has never been more difficult, or more complicated and this little book aims to make the reader think, reflect, and laugh at the different approaches to thinking morally.

You don't feel well, so you call your doctor and get put on hold. The first available appointment is in three weeks. They ask about insurance. You tell them, "HMO." It is now four weeks. You quickly say, "PPO." It's back to three weeks. You plead and then yell. They say next week, angrily. You are now afraid they will mark your file and give you expired drugs made for rabid cows. You mention lawsuit. They'll squeeze you in tomorrow. You arrive fifteen minutes early, wait three hours, and see the doctor for two minutes. The prescription drug you get keeps you in the bathroom. Your insurance refuses to pay. Collectors call. You now have high blood pressure, so you call your doctor. You're put on hold. The first available appointment is in three weeks.

Hassles like these are inherent in the idiocy, incompetence, and illogical nature of America's health-care system. Author Bruce Abrahams is not a doctor; instead, he's a person with so many medical conditions that his medical alert bracelet simply states, "Never mind." As a perennial patient, Abrahams shares embarrassing anecdotes and provides valuable tips in dealing with health-care difficulties for both healthy and "health-challenged" individuals.

While carefully dissecting common difficulties using humor, Abrahams explores how to take charge of your health care. "Prescription for Laughter" offers practical advice from a patient's perspective that will keep you laughing as you successfully navigate a complicated health-care system.

A first person account of the memoirs of an adult centering around visits to his grandmothers house as a child. The location is a small mining town in western Pennsylvania in the mid to late 1950's. Life lessons are learned, bumps bruises and injuries are acquired, personalities are forged, and the boundries between right and wrong are established.