Danger! It lurks at every corner. Volcanoes. Sharks. Cyberbullies. Sinkholes. From wresting an alligator to evading drones to landing a plane if the pilot passes out, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help with expert, illustrated, step-by-step instructions for life's sudden turns for the worst. Needed now more than ever, this revised and expanded edition-published on the international bestseller's 20th anniversary-delivers frightening and funny real advice readers need to know fast. With crucial information added from across the Worst-Case series and 20 all-new scenarios for twenty-first century threats (extreme weather, "fake news," dropping a cell phone in the toilet), this action-packed hardcover handbook brings emergency instruction for anxious times.

'Enlightening ... Funny, smart, original and provocative ... It is hard to imagine the stalwarts of Mock the Week recognising the Druze militia leader Walid Jumblatt in a London cinema' NEW STATESMAN 'Few standups have come close to capturing a fraction of this creative energy in a book ... Alexei Sayle is an exception' GUARDIAN "What I brought to comedy was an authentic working-class voice plus a threat of genuine violence - nobody in Monty Python looked like a hard case who'd kick your head in." In 1971, comedians on the working men's club circuit imagined that they would be free to continue telling their tired, racist, misogynistic gags forever. But their nemesis, a nineteen-year-old Marxist art student, was slowly coming to meet them... Thatcher Stole My Trousers chronicles a time when comedy and politics united in electrifying ways. Recounting the founding of the Comedy Store, the Comic Strip and the Young Ones, and Alexei's friendships with the comedians who - like him - would soon become household names, this is a unique and beguiling blend of social history and memoir. Fascinating, funny, angry and entertaining, it is a story of class and comedy, politics and love, fast cars and why it's difficult to foul a dwarf in a game of football.

Brian Blessed has a lifelong love of animals and over the years has rescued cats and dogs, horses and ponies, and even a very ungrateful fighting cock. All were characters in their own right, such as Jessie, a dog left languishing for a year at the local RSPCA, who ruled the entire household with a rod of iron, when she wasn't out harassing the local vicar. Then there was Bodger, an abused terrier cross breed, who was nursed back to health by Brian and his wife, and Peppone, a stray cat and notorious thief, who was responsible for a crime epidemic in the Bagshot area. Most of all there was Misty, a soul mate and the first Jack Russell Brian met who didn't take an instant dislike to him. Over the years Brian has encountered more exotic animals too, from Kali the black panther who had free run of his kitchen and the gentle boa constrictor Bo Bo who went for walks with him in Richmond Park to the female gorillas who found him incredibly attractive. Written with all of Brian's ebullience, The Panther in My Kitchen is a laugh-out-loud, life-affirming book about the joy animals bring and why we should care for them.

The deadliest ever dictionary of Irish slang! Can you tell your cute hoors from your chancers, or your gougers from your gurriers? Do you know a slapper, a snapper, a shaper or a sleeveen when you see one? No? Well, that's coola boola, because we've put together the most massive, mighty and manky collection of Irish slang in history, or at least in donkey's years. So stop acting the maggot and give it a lash! 'Side-splitting ... Irish Slang's the business!' The Sun

'Truly brilliant' - Matthew Parris, Times columnist 'Weepingly funny and painfully accurate' - Rachel Johnson 'Lethally witty' - Tim Walker, New European If any event in recent British history has spawned more bollocks than Brexit, it is hard to remember when. Now, in a successor volume to the perennial bestsellers The Little Book of Complete Bollocks and The Little Book of Management Bollocks, comes the definitive and hilarious insight into what politicians really mean when they talk about Brexit. We know all the phrases - 'Orderly Departure', 'Crashing Out', 'Remoaners' and many more - but in The Little Book of Brexit Bollocks all is finally made crystal clear by authors Alistair Beaton and Tom Mitchelson. They reveal which notorious politician devised the term 'Ever Closer Union', and what he was actually talking about; one daily newspaper branded three High Court judges 'Enemies of the People', but this book reveals who the true enemies are. So whether you believe Nigel Farage is a national hero or a national embarrassment, this book will finally bring some cheer and relief from the agony of Brexit as we head into the Transition Period (which in the end may outlast us all).

The undisputed master of the short story, Saki's name is synonymous with brilliant writing that satirises Edwardian Society, and his plays were no exception. In his only full-length play, 'The Watched Pot', Trevor Bavvel, sole heir to a country estate, is in want of a wife, but must operate under the strict attention of his miserly mother Hortensia. Although wildly neglected today, Saki's plays met with widespread acclaim in his day, and he was even compared favourably with the great Oscar Wilde. This complete edition of Saki's plays - the first complete edition ever published - demonstrates the great writer's prowess as a playwright, and sparkles with the same wit as the short stories that have enchanted generations of readers.

It's a wonder one witch can see so many fantastic places, yet never settle down. Then again, when your average encounter can include poisonous apples, meeting a spy, a rendezvous with a flying dragon, finding a sunken city, exploring an ice town, and more...you might find yourself reluctant to stay in one place, too.

This magnetic set of scenes, characters, and icons allows you to create your own Bob's Burgers adventures! Kit includes:

• 25 magnets featuring the Belcher family and all their favorite accessories
• Two-sided backdrop to build your Bob's Burgers scenes -- at the restaurant and on the street outside
• 48-page book featuring character profiles, quotes, and a directory of the names of both the restaurant burgers and the store next door, complete with full-color images

The Meaning of Liff has sold hundreds of thousands of copies since it was first published in 1983, and remains a much-loved humour classic. This edition has been revised and updated, and includes The Deeper Meaning of Liff, giving fresh appeal to Douglas Adams and John Lloyd's entertaining and witty dictionary. In life, there are hundreds of familiar experiences, feelings and objects for which no words exist, yet hundreds of strange words are idly loafing around on signposts, pointing at places. The Meaning of Liff connects the two. BERRIWILLOCK (n.) - An unknown workmate who writes 'All the best' on your leaving card. ELY (n.) - The first, tiniest inkling that something, somewhere has gone terribly wrong. GRIMBISTER (n.) - Large body of cars on a motorway all travelling at exactly the speed limit because one of them is a police car. KETTERING (n.) - The marks left on your bottom or thighs after sunbathing on a wickerwork chair. OCKLE (n.) - An electrical switch which appears to be off in both positions. WOKING (ptcpl.vb.) - Standing in the kitchen wondering what you came in here for.

A journalist, columnist, humorist and musician, Miles Kington began his writing career at Punch, where he created Franglais, a hugely popular fictional language, before going on to write a daily column for The Times, followed by the Independent. He wrote over thirty thousand newspaper columns in his lifetime, as well as contributing to countless magazines and other publications. When he died in 2008, he left behind an enormous archive of correspondence. Effortlessly funny and entertaining, this collection is full of Kington's inimitable style. He had kept copies of every letter he had sent or received for the best part of fifty years, letters to and from the great and the good of the arts - Terry Jones, Melvyn Bragg, Joanna Lumley, John Cleese, Andre Previn, Philip Larkin, Alan Coren, Kenneth Williams, and many more. My Mother, The Bearded Lady is a selection of these captivating letters, chosen and edited by his wife, Caroline Kington.

After one final battle against the elves, the Demon Army emerges victorious! With Potimas defeated, the next task is to save goddess Sariel from the System, but administrator D keeps getting in the way!!! For her own amusement, she activates World Quest and pulls absolutely everyone into the game. Now what are we gonna do?!

The Usual Gang of Deviants brings you their second edition to their graphic novel with Last Comic Book on the Left: Vol 2 RISE FROM YOUR GRAVES! Do you giggle in the face of ceaseless horror? Are you prepared to pry open history’s arcanum where the absurd and terrifying collide? Then welcome back, fearless hellions, for round two of THE LAST COMIC BOOK ON THE LEFT! SEE: Project Monarch hypnotise the masses for our lizard overlords! MARVEL: At a scribbling android! GET AROUSED (AGAIN): By a very sexy Mothman! This new volume of The Last Comic Book on The Left mixes cutting comedy and subversive horror, curated by the sick minds behind The Last Podcast on the Left and created by the equally sick (and sickeningly talented) comic writers, artists, and non-reptilian aliens in this dimension. The fatally funny and grotesque tales within The Last Comic Book on The Left will change your life…maybe even for the better. DISCLAIMER: The Last Comic Book on The Left has not been funded by an underground Satanic cult. We promise: the infernal old management is gone. Hail the new management and the advent of the purple moon born child.

Family begins with a capital eff. I'm wondering how many more f*cking 'phases' I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me 'it's just a phase!' for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is 'just a phase.' Potty training and the associated accidents 'is just a phase'. The tantrums of the terrible twos are 'just a phase'. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All 'just phases!' When do the 'phases' end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

Are you stark raving bonkers? Have you no care for life and limb? Too much adrenaline and not enough brain cells? Like hospital food? Then this is just the book for you. A collection of no-brain misadventures, pranks, sports, jobs and dare-devil high jinks that no-one in their right mind would even contemplate trying. There's a treacherous world out there just waiting for someone with guts, a lust for adventure and absolutely no sense whatsoever. So, make sure you've got the address of your local A & E handy, make your last will and testament and get ready to roll with 100 mad fool ideas...

Perfect for the anti-aviary (or bird fanatic with a sense of humor), this snarky illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and-let's face it-true. Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. With migratory maps and tips for birding, plus musings on the avian population and the ethics of birdwatching, this is the essential guide to all things wings. No need to wonder what all that racket is anymore!

To anyone who is not a new mother, babyhood may seem like a nanosecond long--a quick blip on the radar of life. But to a new mother, it feels never-ending. A child is born, a thunderstorm comes barreling in, and the idea of buckling down to raise said baby seems like an eternity--and feels totally impossible. How will I ever make it through? This is especially true for women today, who are raised to foster strong personal and professional identities. Becoming a mother is a complete restructuring of one's life, and there's a necessary psychic reckoning that gets buried under dirty diapers and lost amid the nipple shields and mashed peas. Loaded with unfettered support from a mom who has been through it, You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom offers a welcome acknowledgement that motherhood is a mind f*ck--and that women deserve more than trite oversimplifying and sugarcoating about the miracles of child-rearing. It is not a parenting book, it's a mama book, one with an irresistible, irreverent voice, sharp insight, and some welcome doses of "truth salad," plus a few experts thrown in for good measure. It's You Are a Badass for new mothers, and a long-awaited life raft for all the mothers drowning in maternal confusion and terror.

For fifty years, Sir Reginald's career has been synonymous with British business: from launching the world-beating Austin Allegro to taking RBS to the pinnacle of international banking. Now he brings this wealth of experience to helping Britain plan for success in the post-Brexit world. As chair of the Prime Minister's Brexit Advisory Committee, Sir Reg gives us a glimpse of Government plans for guest workers, floating universities and a US-friendly NHS. He explains why selling the National Trust to overseas investors will promote British values and how revitalising Britain's mercenary forces will bring in much-needed hard currency. Part-autobiography, part manifesto for a freer and less equal Britain, Sir Reg unwittingly reveals the delusions and deceits of the Brexit campaign and the doomed and fatuous 'plan' for Britain's economic future. Mr Brexit is a must-read for all those who want to know what the future holds as Britain stands on the edge of an abyss and steps forward with confidence.

Monty Python's Flying Circus was first broadcast in October 1969. This newly originated volume contains the complete unexpurgated scripts of the original television series (except for the animation bits) from Episode One to Episode Twenty-three inclusive. Everyone's favourite classic sketches - all eminently quotable - are here including the Architect's Sketch, Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson, Whicker Island, Working-class playwright, The Larch, Nudge Nudge, Hell's Grannies, It's the Arts, Albatross, Ministry of Silly Walks, Election Night Special [Silly and Sensible Parties], Epsom furniture race, Derby Council v. All Blacks rugby match, Dead Parrot, and - it is no exaggeration to say - many, many more.

Mostly Harmless is the fifth and final part in Douglas Adams' much-loved cult classic series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Arthur Dent hadn't had a day as bad as this since the Earth had been blown up. After years of galactic wanderings, Arthur finally settles on the small planet Lamuella and becomes a sandwich maker. Looking forward to a quiet life, his plans are thrown awry by the unexpected arrival of his daughter. There's nothing worse than a frustrated teenager with a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in their hands. When she runs away, Arthur goes after her determined to save her from the horrors of the universe. After all - he's encountered most of them before . . .