Best ever Yo Mamma jokes on earth. These are guaranteed to make you roll on the floor laughing. Tell these at parties and get-together's and be the star of the entertainment. Here are a few: 1. Yo mamma's so fat that people raise their hands and shout "Taxi!" when she walks by in a yellow raincoat. 2. Yo mamma's so fat that the elevator can only go down when she rides. 3. Yo mamma's so fat that her pants had to be ironed in the driveway. 4. Yo mamma's so fat that people just had to go around her for a 15-minute exercise. 5. Yo mamma's so fat she has group insurance by herself. 6. Yo mamma's so fat she brought the bridge down when she went bungee jumping. 7. Yo mamma's so fat she is charged for group rates when she went to a buffet. 8. Yo mamma's so fat her feet doesn't get wet when she showers. 9. Yo mamma's so fat she doesn't a tailor, she needs a contractor. Purchase now over 100 more of them!

What would your life be like if God lived next door? What would you talk about? What questions would you ask? In Funny Conversations with God, author Dunn Neugebauer shares his fictionalized discussions with God.

In a noncontroversial, casual, humorous style, Funny Conversations with God shares Neugebauer's feelings, philosophies, and life experiences as if he were talking directly to God. They discuss and analyze the key points in Neugebauer's life, such as his passing relationships with women, his failed marriage, his nonexistent church-going habits, and his job at the local high school against the backdrop of pop culture such as sports, authors, popular singers, and current events and important issues.

During their candid give-and-take, Neugebauer gains insights not only into the experiences of his past, but obtains a direction for his future. He also grasps a deeper understanding of the all-powerful God who loves us and wants to be with us.

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? London, England. The year two-thousand and whatever. The far right political group the British National Front (BNF) are gaining massive popularity and are expected to make huge inroads into British mainstream in the next general election. A secret agency semi-attached to the government cannot allow this to happen. To have a right wing group anywhere near government would make Britain an international laughing stock and the British like being taken seriously. The agency gets to work. Their plan is to arrange to allow some of BNF's lowest and stupidest members to kill an innocent Black youth. It should be as bloody, violent but most importantly be as public as possible. It's not the kind of operation that they like to perform on British home soil but needs must' and all that. It shouldn't be too difficult and they don't anticipate any problems. They just need to choose a Black youth. Any youth will do. It's not personal, it's just politics. Kob Armah is the Black youth they mistakenly choose. This story is about him. Kob (for short or Benjamin Kobla Nii-Armah for long) doesn't care about British politics. He has enough Londoneze African problems of his own. He survives the attack in one piece. The same cannot be said about two of his attackers. Kob chooses to hide in Ghana to until things cool off...but that's where his enemies follow him. All of them. WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? It's the Crime Comedy story that capers from London to Accra then back to London. It's got a cool inner-city star, beautiful women, urban to tropical locations, regular bad-guys, secret bad-guys, races, car chases, white van chases, knives, guns... and Supermalt. What more could you ask for?

"Mildred's Book Store" sounded like a catchy name for my collection of book titles and authors. Mildred, to me, seemed like a good name for an entrepreneur of a small business like an independent bookstore. As in any such retail outlet, there are different categories of books to appeal to any reader. As I began organizing my collection, I was able to arrange them in eight general categories, including a catch-all "Potpourri" section. Since they are only titles and not whole books, I hope that the reader finds favorites in all eight sections. I also hope that this will spur an interest in some of these various fields that leads to purchases of books in those fields. If, by having my collection published, it both entertains and creates interest in new areas of life, I will be completely satisfied.

'Full of wit and warmth. A must read!' Sarah BennettSome days Bee feels invisible. Most days Bee does not feel as if she is 'living her best life'.Sure she has a loyal group of friends, a job she's good at, and a small London flat to call home, but a lot of the time, Bee feels as if no one actually 'sees' her. Her best friend, the unfeasibly handsome and successful Luca Donato does not have that problem. People are practically falling over themselves whenever they see Luca, but one thing the two friends do have in common, is they haven't yet found the 'One'. When their friend Tia challenges them to change all that through online dating, Luca and Bee set about the task with very different levels of enthusiasm. The saying goes that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, and it's not long before Bee is ready to admit defeat. But with Luca inundated with potential love interests, Bee is determined not to give up. Surely her perfect partner is out there somewhere... 'Read yourself happy' with Maxine Morrey's latest heart-warming, feelgood, page-turning romance, guaranteed to make you smile. Perfect for fans of Lauren Weisberger and Sophie Kinsella. Praise for Maxine Morrey: 'Full of wit and warmth. The chemistry between Bee and Luca is fantastic and I was rooting for their happy ending from the first page! Maxine has treated us to another immensely relatable heroine and it was a joy to watch Bee slowly come into her own. A must read!' Sarah Bennett 'An uplifting read that stops you in your tracks and makes you wonder "....but what if?" Absorbing, funny and oh-so-romantic, I loved every page!' Rachel Burton 'A super sweet read, guaranteed to warm any winter evening' Samantha Tonge 'A lovely story that kept me turning the pages' Jules Wake 'A stunning, perfect novel - it literally took my breath away.' The Writing Garnet, 5 stars 'A warm hug of a book.' Rachel's Random Reads, 5 stars

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
This year I am six years old.
My parents are delighted.
Today is my first day of school,
But they're the ones excited
They're dancing around the kitchen,
And I would like to know:
Are they happy school is starting,
Or just glad to see me go?
So begins this collection of witty, whimsical verse that anyone who ever covertly shot a spitball in class will love.
The quirky teachers, bizarre events and embarrassing mishaps of Roby School are all wonderfully captured here with only one purpose in mind: to make children laugh and adults giggle. And they do. Chartier's tidy poems bring back the days when reading poetry was fun.
"My First A," "Toilet Problems," "Mean Mrs. Green" and "Ode to a Substitute" are just some of the poems that trigger universal memories of those odd daily events in an elementary school that sometimes seemed only to have been designed to baffle young, otherwise uncomplicated minds.
Karen Gosselin's line drawings provide a perfect and delightful running narrative of their own for each of the amusing "educational" moments captured so richly here by Chartier in Roby School.
Linda Chartier attended Roby School in Saugus, Massachusetts and these verses are a whimsical sojourn back to that place where students and teachers laughed, played and learned. Ms. Chartier lives in Laconia, New Hampshire, where she teaches karate and skiing and enjoys hiking, biking, kayaking...and, of course, writing.
Karen Gosselin lives in the wilds of New Hampshire where vacationers trample the unwary and moose wrestle cars for fun. When she's not trying to keep her daughter from pushing random buttons on her laptop, she's illustrating games and stories for other small companies. She is now creating an on-line comic with her husband, Tom, titled Chaos Express, on her site Chibikarenstudios.com.

Cat's log, day 345. Human finally accepts her place in the home. When you look into the enigmatic eyes of your beloved cat, it can be hard to know just what on earth is going through their curious minds. Well you needn't wonder any more, because after intensive research and cat-psychology study, we have cracked the kitty code and can now reveal all the secrets of the moggy world. You'll find out: - what your curious kitty really thinks when you try to play with them - why they love knocking things off tables so much - what's behind their disdainful looks - why it's so hard for them to decide whether they want to go outside or not - why they get really cheesed off when your culinary skills fall short of their expectations This charming and fully illustrated book is the perfect gift for any cat lover, or anyone who has ever been owned by a cat.

How times change Many will recall seeing the local "bobby" in his pointed helmet, smart tunic and polished duty boots patrolling the High Street and chatting to members of the public who generally respected their presence. They now go round in groups, wearing bright yellow jackets, anti-stab vests, flat hats and unpolished shoes. At the back of their minds, the constant worry that they will not reach the current month's target for arrests. Tony Kirkbank joined the Kent Police Force in 1962-a time when poor pay, poor housing and local under-manning combined to make problems for officers who carried out the many and varied tasks demanded of them. This is his account of the years between 1962 and 1977 covering training, walking the beat in Dartford, driving traffic cars and being a village "bobby" in an idyllic corner of Kent. In the days before occupational stress, Health & Safety rules, overarching administrative layers and target-driven goals, this book presents a picture of basic policing as experienced in those days with examples of amusing anecdotes and recollections that all helped the copper on the beat to see his shift through with satisfaction. February 2012

Possibly the most important anthology ever published, this definitive collection features key works by such famous Australian poets as Gavin Milton, Arnold Wordsworth, Sylvia Blath, Very Manly Hopkins, R.A.C.V. Milne, and Dylan Thompson.

John Clarke is an Australian comedy genius--born, of course, in New Zealand.

Roger Dale Loring is a genuine baby boomer who finds his existence in the rapidly-changing world rather perplexing. In his latest book, he once again offers a collection of lighthearted essays about his dilemmas from the perspective of his current "if-they-don't-have-a-senior-discount, I'm-not-going-there" age. Realizing that the aging process evolved in a way that his adolescent mind never envisioned, Loring now finds that his views on life changes are disturbingly similar to the views of the old people of his youth, people he frequently characterized as old fogies. His essays highlight his humorous take on life that include opinions about issues such as cell phone upgrades; a man's attention span while operating a television remote; seasonal purse shopping; the differing conversation patterns of men and women; the three hardest part-time jobs in America; the crazy world of politics where preaching to the choir dominates all campaigns; and, of course, the trauma of buying toothpaste.