Is there anything in the world as special, loving and abjectly terrible as a dad joke? We re not talking about just some silly jokes or one-liner; these jokes are an assembly of some of the most offensive and funny jokes, puns and double entendres known to man. Guaranteed to annoy loved ones to the very brink of entertainment, these jokes are a surefire way to land some embarrassing laughs. Stubbed toe? Better call the toe truck! The best (or worst) dad jokes come from the world around us covering the essential dad joke subjects like: The family: You forgot the pickles! It s kind of a big dill. Kid jokes: What s the worst thing about being a grapefruit? That you look nothing like a grape! Insult jokes: If I wanted to hear from a butthole, I d just fart. Old age: Sometimes when I buy wine, I stand at the register a bit longer than normal hoping that the cashier asks for ID. Gain the respect and admiration (or at least the annoyance) of your friends and coworkers

WORK AND PLAY in southern Indiana" is the third in a series of my books. It is in the time of the 1970's and 1980's. In it is some things learned working construction and then at a foundry. Also are thoughts on three wheelers, rafting creeks and walking through train tunnels. My first book MAPLE GROVE, was of growing up on a dairy farm. My second book, MAPLE GROVE THE 60's, was of some things I learned during my teenage years. Wanting to save stories for my grandchildren, I bought a computer in 1990 and started compiling my hand written writings. I am just an average person with my average stories. People seem to enjoy relating to these average stories, remembering their version of life.

Against the Grain is a gritty, introspective look at Brent Waldo's childhood growing up the 80's. Nothing is sugar coated while he guides you through his triumphs and struggles as if you were living them right alongside him. From his first sexual experience in a movie theatre while his dog was tied up out front, to harrowing tales of his times as a commercial fisherman in Alaska. It's creatively honest, sometimes funny, other times not. He tackles some of today's political hot topics with a 'head on' mentality and makes zero apologies. From first jobs, girlfriends, and flight school, to college days and misadventures travelling the globe. There's a little bit of each and every one of us in this book, that's what makes it so appealing. So throw your feet up on the coffee table, grab a cold beer, and dig in. In no time at all, you'll feel like you've been spending time with a long lost buddy. All the while your tray table should be in the upright and locked position and pay no attention to your overworked underpaid bitchy flight attendants; their bosses took all their money Let's go for a ride

This book outlines what the author believes to be ten important issues or concepts that merit discussion or at least some thought. Some are not new ideas by any stretch of the imagination, but may have been glossed over, over reported or covered and debated so much they may have lost their luster and are worth polishing up for a fresh roll in the brain. The others you will find enlightening if you happen to find yourself in "violation" for lack of a better word. Now with a new official title of "Commandment," perhaps some older but still relevant concepts may be revived and repaired and the new ideas understood and accepted. Let's face it; it's tough to get a new idea across anyone these days But when it's a commandment... well how can you say no to a commandment? Though obviously not written by god himself, the wish is that after finishing the book you will agree that keeping 11 thru 20 in mind and executing the fundamental spirit of the script would not be a bad thing. Just like the original version History has shown that nothing is fiercer than an aroused mind moving in the direction of positive change. The Bible is a magnificent book and reveals itself with the wonderful vernacular of the time. Like listening to the inflection and dialect delivered by the actors from a movie shot in the 1930's, turning the pages of the bible is like eaves dropping on another time. But unlike the thirties, these days most men don't call each other "Fella" "Mac" or "Daddy-o" as often as they once did. So to have been dropped words like begat, shalt, and thou. In the interest of smooth reading and less aspirin, Don too shalt... uh... shall leave the tradition speak of the day to the titles of the commandments only, and opt for an easier more casual discussion into their meaning.

We all need a little help every now and then, don't we ladies. Well here's all the help you need. Welcome your new best friend - the indispensable little black book of advice. This book is the friend your mother warned you about, the friend who always had the best stories and always knew just what to say...to get you into trouble. The Little Book of Bad Advice: you won't know how you ever managed to live without it.

Wrinkles, Waistlines, and Wet Pants is an irreverent look at aging. Fashion, self -improvement and social etiquette are thrown out the window in this hilarious book that disregards good taste and dignity. The author disproves the theory that fifty is the new thirty with anecdotes, some of them actually true.

Existence after fifty, according to Jeanne Kraus, is fraught with peril from lifethreatening underwear to homeowners' associations. Lifestyle activities are recommended, along with full schedules of doctor visits. Humiliation lurks at every corner with shotgun makeup interventions, bodily function failures, and swiss cheese memory. Condom trees, risqu photos found in a laundry mound, and DNA-tainted ornaments all have their part in this series of incidents.

Jeanne includes advice for those aging ne'er do-wells who hope to make it to the pearly gates eventually. And even though this book will not change you in any way, there is something for everyone in Wrinkles, Waistlines, and Wet Pants. Even self-help junkies will be delighted with the three insightful but useless surveys.

Wrinkles, Waistbands, and Wet Pants was wittily written by Jeanne Kraus, and illustrated by her sister, Diana Arneson, both having experienced wrinkles, expanding waistlines, and wet pants.

From 1957 to1972, Dorothy "Dottie" Lebo wrote a weekly humor column called "Home at Heart" for the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, "Sunday Patriot-News" that chronicled the chaos and charms of family life. A 1950s mom who refused to conform to the era's rigid standards for housewives, Lebo documented suburban living during a period of rapid change in American culture.

"Home at Heart" ran in the women's pages and won Lebo the affection of legions of local fans as she recounted her hilarious household misadventures. During the days when financial planning meant managing charge accounts and layaway plans, and collecting S&H green stamps, Lebo entertained her readers with reflections on historic events, including the Apollo moonwalk, the assassination of President Kennedy, and the British invasion led by the Beatles. She mused on the lives of celebrities like actress Elizabeth Taylor and football star Joe Namath, and she pondered a rapidly changing culture as it came home to roost in the form of long hair, basement bands, and pop psychology.

Full of good humor and brimming with the details of the time, "Home at Heart "will take you back to a pivotal era. Diane Lebo Wallace has lovingly compiled her mother's witty columns, offering an intimate glimpse into the mind of an extraordinary housewife and mother.

Sunday Business Post Book of the Year Blindboy Boatclub is one half of the Rubberbandits, Ireland's foremost satirist and now the talented author of a collection of brilliant short stories and visual art. Published to critical acclaim, his first collection is powered by big themes and even bigger ideas. There are stories about a van fuelled by Cork people's accents, Tipperary's first ISIS recruit, a sexually aggressive banshee and a fridge dragged heroically through the streets of Limerick. The Gospel According to Blindboy questions and challenges the complacencies and contradictions at the heart of modern Ireland. Whip-smart, provocative and animated by his unmistakable dark wit, it is one of the most original collections of short stories to emerge in recent years. 'Mad, wild, hysterical, and all completely under the writer's control - this is a brilliant debut.' Kevin Barry 'There is genius in this book, warped genius. Like you'd expect from a man who for his day job wears a plastic bag on his head but something beyond that too. Oddly in keeping with the tradition of great Irish writers.' Russell Brand 'If you've ever witnessed (there's no other word for it) a Rubberbandits video you'll be anxious (there's no other word for it) to read this collection of short stories from one of the originators. I hesitate to use the word author as the experience is as close to reading a traditional short story as being burnt by a blow torch. Essential, funny and disturbing.' Danny Boyle 'One of Ireland's finest and most intelligent comic minds delivers stories so blisteringly funny and sharp your fingers might bleed. In language so delicious you can taste it, we're shown holy and unholy Ireland: a land of lock-ins, nettle stings, stone-mad Cork birds, gas cunts and Guiney's jeans. No one is safe - we all have the unmerciful piss ripped out of us and there's no escape from the emotional gut punches, expertly dealt.' Tara Flynn 'Demented, dishevelled and deeply surreal - Blindboy Boatclub's book will shock and delight.' Irish Independent 'It's not for the faint-hearted.' Joe.ie 'You won't be disappointed. It will take you to places unexpected.' Ryan Tubridy

What is a Storyville? Whether you're in Toast, North Carolina, Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky, or Winner, South Dakota, a Storyville is a real town you can find on a map, with a tale behind its quirky name. Covering 20,000 miles of U.S. roads, Dale Peterson drove with his kids, Britt and Bayne, from Start, Louisiana, to Deadhorse, Alaska in search of small-town America in the "garage sale of the open highway." Along the way they explored open spaces, wild places, and country back roads and met people who weren't afraid to talk to one another. Together, they discovered the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells of nearly sixty small towns, as well as the zany stories behind them, guided by an AAA Road Atlas, expert local storytellers, and lots of curiosity. They dipped into Caddo Lake and the everglades of Uncertain, Texas, went a little crazy in Loco, Oklahoma, and learned about bee colonies in Climax, New York. Conversations with townsfolk range from the refrigerator at the center of Noodle, Texas, and the hazards of Accident, Maryland, to issues of civil rights, religion, and environmental preservation. Collected here are the landscapes, landmarks, faces, thoughts, and conversations of a sentimental, idiosyncratic, and often hilarious American odyssey. Storyville, USA is a long, winding trip into the back roads of the country and a longer one into the hinterland of our own hearts.

From cubed wombat poop to mantis shrimp eyesight, impress your friends with More True Facts That Sound Like Bull$#*t! Learn the weirdest things about planet earth with this hilarious guide to all things bizarre. Challenge your friends, puzzle your family, and troll social media with true-or-false questions sure to stump even the most experienced fact guru. The perfect gift for trivia experts and internet searchers alike, with 500 odd-but-true facts to choose from, you'll become a weird trivia master in no time. Put your game face on, and prove once again that you are the real know-it-all! Gather your friends and family 'round (again!) and get ready to learn more wild and crazy trivia and facts such as: - How long did the shortest war in history last? - True or False? There was once a mustache strike in France. - Are babies born crying with an accent? - True or False? a dentist invented cotton candy. - Is cheese the most widely shoplifted food in the world? Stump everyone with More True Facts That Sound Like Bull$#*t!

Upton Sinclair meets Joseph Heller, the funniest book since A Confederacy of Dunces. Austin's novel is an unlikely mixture of expose, social satire and high comedy that somehow, brilliantly, succeeds. It will make you laugh, cry, and want to punch out your boss. Don't read this book at work, but by all means read it. Charles Dodt, Author, The Night Boy *** Do you remember the best time of your life? For Chuck Farlowe, his time came and went, one April day back in 1973. His "A" game, unfortunately, was left in the dugout that day. Cut to 1998. His son, Danny, is at the crossroads of his life. A young man in need of answers, he finds them in the form of a long-buried manuscript written by his father back in 1973. Suddenly he finds himself at a strange place and time-the Hotchkis Department Store in downtown Oakland, circa 1970. Danny is introduced to both the store manager, Matt Farber, and the store owner, Isaac Benjamin Stern. Soon a union election begins to loom ominously. Chuck manages to find a kindred spirit in Lee Kroeber, and eventually, after a struggle, with Cooper Smith, whose own bitterness and alienation over store racism threatens to change the entire store dynamic. When Wayne Justice joins the Hotchkis fold in 1971, soon the era of poker and male bonding begin. Rediscovering Mrs. Murphy is all about fighting through the pain of the past and rediscovering what really matters.