Next time you're up to your neck in nagging requests, emails, and meeting invites, give your coworkers a (not-so-subtle) hint: Take a Number! * SPECIFICATIONS: Includes a mini butcher counter-style "take a number" system with 100 paper tickets, plus a digital number board to display the number currently being served * INCLUDES MINI BOOK: Enjoy an illustrated mini book outlining how to tackle common office distractions, like Carol from accounting asking if you saw last night's episode of Dancing with the Stars * PERFECT OFFICE GIFT: Whether it's for your boss, the office White Elephant party, or your busy coworker's birthday, this is a hilarious novelty item that's sure to delight! * REALLY WORKS! As functional as it is funny and adorable, this tiny ticket dispenser might actually help you keep requests at bay

To comedians, 'material'--their jokes--has always been precious, worthy of protecting and preserving. On stage, a good vaudeville routine could last years as it was performed on tour across the country. On radio, a year's vaudeville material might be fodder for one week's broadcast. Bob Hope used new material not only for his weekly radio series, but also for the several live charity appearances he made each week.
Organized by the stages of his life, accompanied by black-and-white photographs, this book gives readers a chance to enjoy the very best of Hope's jokes, from his early years in vaudeville, his top-rated radio show in the '30s and '40s, his legendary television appearances, and much more.

A captivating, carefully woven tale of village eccentricities - related with hilarious, near-the-knuckle innuendo. Yet this fictional story may take you to a place that is recognisable. A most intriguing and unusually well-crafted piece of work that at times will reduce you to tears of joy.

Every woman has either dated a jerk, or knows a friend that has dated one. But avoiding the jerks and attracting a decent man is actually a lot easier than you think. Forget watching reruns of "Sex and the City" or chatting with your girlfriends late at night. In this guidebook, a self-professed jerk comes straight out, speaks the truth, and systematically explains how to spot, avoid, and say goodbye to jerks; tell if a guy is wasting your time; deal with players hunt for "good" men (and where to hunt for them). You'll also learn how to avoid common mistakes, such as overrating initial chemistry, inadvertently hurting a man's ego, losing a good guy's interest and much more. Full of witty satire and sarcasm. Get ready to laugh out loud with this hilarious "anti-game." What people had to say about this book: "Hey Willie, this is so entertaining Ha ha you have a great sense of humor, and your statements are so true " - Denise "We all know no one likes a tattletale. Hate the game, not the player. Every girl Tiger slept with knew he was married. Who is worse?" - Steve the player "That was such an enjoyable and enlightening read. I mean it's well written, witty, and one would think some of it is common sense, but sometimes people (i.e. me ) need common sense to slap them in the face " - Cheryl "Willie whistle blower has a nice ring to it. You know someone's going to kick your butt one day? Good work " - A guy Willie no longer parties with "I don't understand you. You go through university, build a promising career. Now you quit your job and write this book? Why would you tell the whole world you're an asshole?" - Willie's mom

What's morality all about? Deciding what's right or wrong has never been more difficult, or more complicated and this little book aims to make the reader think, reflect, and laugh at the different approaches to thinking morally.

In the whimsical tradition he is known for, humorist Dennis Ford once again embarks on an amusing exploration into the captivating worlds of science, literature, history, and popular culture-all without ever leaving the comfy air-conditioned interior of his Saturn Ion.

In the style of his previous work, "Thinking About Everything," Ford shares a medley of new musings on the worries of the world and the unique friendliness of San Antonio as he plays peek-a-boo with a spider, attempts to climb a rainbow, and captures a leprechaun. Ever the helpful humorist, Ford continues on a journey of thoughtful adventures through the mundane and esoteric as he explains how the postal service can mail itself into a profitable future, why fantastical lies can make elections more interesting, and a way through which one can acquire a window seat on the ferry to the Great Beyond. Included are "Excellent Groaners," a compilation of puns, and "Professor Fawcett's Notorious Lecture on Test-Irrelevant Thoughts," a learned presentation on the psychological perils of test anxiety told partly in acronyms.

"Miles of Thoughts" offers an amusing glimpse into one man's upside-down world as he commutes through the beautiful scenery of the New Jersey Pine Barrens and contemplates life.

A first person account of the memoirs of an adult centering around visits to his grandmothers house as a child. The location is a small mining town in western Pennsylvania in the mid to late 1950's. Life lessons are learned, bumps bruises and injuries are acquired, personalities are forged, and the boundries between right and wrong are established.

This is a humorous book on marriage, showing how a guy can live with a woman,by teasing, joking, pulling pranks & small capers, to forever keeping her wondering what-in-the-heck he might do next & usually can get away with it all, as long as he smiles & says "The devil made me do it !".

Come explore another time and place. The coal camps may have been rough and impoverished but the kids that grew up there they were wonderful andexciting. These tales range from playing church and bird funerals, to how chewing tobacco and spitting into the creek became one of Roy's besttattle-tale adventures ever. Learn about the Goings on between the churchgoers and the sinners. Find out if Margie's pet chicken, Gladys ended up inchicken heaven or on the dinner table. Follow the adventures of Bonnie's unexpected ride on the back of a hog. Find out what the trickle of watercoming out from under the Christmas tree really was. You may be surprised that it really did hurt dad more than the kids when he removed his belt topunish the kids. Learn the real meaning behind David's insistence that 'Pocky mokes." Discover who wins when Raymond tangles with Sally the cat.Experience the itch of Larry's mishap in the woods. Find out why Judy isn't wearing any panties. These tales reveal the good and the bad of what lifewas really like for the Coal Camp Kids.

At one time, Razor was a strapping, athletic, and active young man. Now, many years later, he has finally come to the realization that getting older really pisses him off. Now pear-shaped, slow, and forgetful, Razor is convinced he is not a pretty sight. Worse yet, Squatty Body-his lovely, strong-willed wife-is a real pain in his butt. In his first collection of humorous anecdotes and satirical commentary, based on real-life situations and current issues, retired teacher and avid storyteller R. D. Donaldson shares a delightful compilation of musings both hilarious and contemplative that highlight the adventures of Razor and Squatty Body-two characters loosely based on Donaldson and his own wife. Razor was born on the golf course and will do anything to win his opponents' quarters-including verbally slashing the enemy. Squatty Body is a deficient chef who has burned boiling water, screwed up buttered toast, and killed the neighbor's dog with her less-than-desirable cooking. Is the whole world going crazy? After all is said and done, Razor may just prove to everyone that he is the only sane one left standing in the midst of a bunch of nuts.

A HILARIOUS CELEBRATION OF JANE AUSTEN’S SHARPEST, WITTIEST, AND MOST BELOVED WORDS, BRILLIANTLY REIMAGINED IN THE FACE OF TODAY'S CHAOTIC DATING SCENE.

From soft launches to slow fades, love-bombing to ghosting, dating is proving to be as complicated as ever. Luckily Jane Austen is here to help.

In Sense and Situationships, Jane delivers hilarious, no-nonsense advice on today’s romance dilemmas—mixing timeless wit with Regency-era sass to help you navigate the world of modern dating.

Packed with quotes taken straight from Austen's pen, this book addresses 40 relatable dating challenges, each resolved in Jane's iconic voice. With humorous and insightful solutions, Sense and Situationships answers the burning question on every Janeite's mind: What would Jane do?

Dee Quemby's book is not just a wonderfully warm read but a very actual account of the most demanding and difficult life in show business, that of the COMEDIAN! I told Dee many moons ago that she should enter the idiom that is the easiest life in showbusiness, that of the TV drama actor. That of course she has done to grand acclaim. Get the book it's a great read! BILL maynard Deirdre was my first dancing teacher for 13 years and I owe her a great debt. She is a very talented performer in her own right and it would be great to dance with her again. I still think there's something very big around the corner for her! Stephen Mear (Olivier winning choreographer of Mary Poppins) Dee was brilliant as Emmerdale's Lulu Dingle. But if she'd had access to Lulu's crystal ball and been able to see how tough it would be for a mainstream comedienne to get a break in modern TV, would she have persevered? Dee's book is moving, honest and funny. Garry Bushell (tv critic)

The world's most beloved beagle shares his philosophy on life in this beautifully produced gift book for all generations. In his inimitable style, Snoopy spends his days extolling the virtues of dancing, hanging out with his best bird friend Woodstock, pursuing a full supper dish and giving his owner - our favourite lovable loser, Charlie Brown - the run-around. For the millions of faithful Charles Schulz fans, and those who fondly remember the joyful dog with the wild imagination, this is the first in a new series to cherish that will see the beguiling Peanuts gang share their sentiments on everything from food to friendship.