For anyone who loved St Trinian's - old or new - or read Malory Towers as a kid. St Brides is the perfect read for you. When Gemma Lamb takes a job at a quirky English girls' boarding school, she believes she's found the perfect escape route from her controlling boyfriend - until she discovers the rest of the staff are hiding sinister secrets: Hairnet, the eccentric headmistress who doesn't hold with academic qualifications Oriana Bliss, Head of Maths and master of disguise Joscelyn Spryke, the suspiciously rugged Head of PE Geography teacher Mavis Brook, surreptitiously selling off the library books creepy night watchman Max Security, with his network of hidden tunnels Even McPhee, the school cat, is leading a double life. Tucked away in the school's beautiful private estate in the Cotswolds, can Gemma stay safe and build a new independent future, or will past secrets catch up with her and the rest of the staff? With a little help from her new friends, including some wise pupils, she's going to give it her best shot... Previously published by Debbie Young as Secrets at St Bride's.

Una serie de historias cortas y disquisiciones sobre el diario vivir llevados al lector de una manera llana... Cautivantes di logos llenos de jocosidad, eso es lo que nos trae el autor en esta edici n. Usted quedara atrapado en este libro de interesantes relatos y no podr despegarse de l hasta llegar al final donde el Dr. Froilan se embarca en un tierno e hilarante dialogo sobre el bien y el mal, nada menos que con su nieto de cinco a os. Fascinante

Whilst there are enough celebrity connections and anecdotes not to be out of place in an A list autobiography, the real hook of this book is that the author isn t remotely famous. The endearing appeal is that it is the viewpoint of the everyman, but one who has had enough light brushes with celebrity that he has some great tales to tell. These stories, anecdotes and musings are seamlessly woven into what for many of us will be a memory jogging, laughter inducing remembrance of some of the major, as well as quainter, stranger and more trivial moments of pop culture over the last few decades. If you love pop music and pop culture, feared the Daleks, the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and mourn the demise of Pez, Cresta, conkers as a rite of passage, jokes on lolly sticks, Top of the Pops and pink vinyl limited edition LP s, then you will surely enjoy this. Please beware This book may waste days (if not weeks) of your life as almost every paragraph will have you frantically typing into your search engine and getting lost, on what may turn out to be an endless Internet Safari. This book contains some adult humour. Best Wishes and Good Luck with your writing Ben Elton"

Arranged alphabetically by topic, from Adam to Youth, and culled from his novels, speeches, letters, and conversations, this anthology of quotes is timeless and represents the very essence of Mark Twain -- hilarious, cranky, and insightful.

"Wriggly Rex" is the funniest Senate candidate who ever battled a strait-laced young staffer, a bare-knuckled opponent, and Old Beelzebub-all at once: an alcoholic lecher or a lecherous alcoholic, depending on his company and the time of day.

Idealistic young aide Ernst Funck thinks that electing a conservative is a dream job. But nothing could have prepared him for Rex's string of embarrassing disasters.

When Rex holds a drunken press conference to roast his supporters and the press, Ernst realizes that he can't win the election without controlling Rex.

Buck Cheatem, the oil millionaire who funded Rex's campaign, wants his money back if Rex loses. Freddy Farnarkler, the conservative think tanker, wants a deeper relationship. The Rat Squad makes an evil appearance.

Bunny, the office manager, is an equal-opportunity destroyer-her wheelchair a battle chariot. Porky, the campaign strategist, makes Ernst a rival. Rex's wife Blanche and girlfriend Angel both work in the campaign, as if Ernst needed another problem.

Will Ernst pull out a win in spite of Rex? Or will he have to find that witness protection program for losing campaign staffers? Their final confrontation provides the answer.

Emerging from a very protective, strictly Catholic, middle class family, Henry is equipped with a bachelor's degree, and an attache case when he enters the world of work. Lessons including tax avoidance, tax evasion, loneliness and blackmail are soon some of the problems he faces. Those plus a few years of military service convince him that his first love must be teaching. In the public schools, new words enter his vocabulary and he faces new challenges. In a small, conservative school, these battles center around the Who, What, Where, When and How of journalism. The problems are who may a new teacher date, what teaching methods are allowed, where may a new teacher live and drink, when must a new teacher be home and how long will the students and parents continue to educate him. The problems and vocabulary change when Henry signs a contract to teach in a large, metropolitan high school in Nevada. Now there are lessons to be learned about theft, wedding chapels, prostitution, Keno, legal guardianship, child neglect, child abuse, parole, comps and under cover police acting as students. On the other side of the coin are lessons in trust, love, scholarships, financial aid, advanced placement, real estate and fellow teachers to add humor and understanding to all the problems. The thirty year run in education is a rewarding, challenging, enjoyable and humorous life. With those lessons learned, he feels prepared for retirement.

A THIRD BONUS SECTION (Part 3) Secondarily Titled -- "Three Combined Life Altering Book Titles that You Cannot Live Without " Are you ready to read literature of a magnitude, that is literally 'brain flipping'? Here is what you get within the pages of this magnificent book containing over 10,492 words * * * PART ONE: "5 Steps To Becoming a Chick Magnet Over Night " Table of Contents -- CHAPTER ONE Tell Chicks Who You are Interested in, that You are an Heir to the Bill Gates Fortune CHAPTER TWO Tell Your Babely Love Interest that You are a Cousin to Elvis Presley or Some Other Male Sex Symbol CHAPTER THREE Convince Chicks that You are Sensitive and In Touch with Your Feminine Side CHAPTER FOUR Make Sure that They See You are Athletic and Demonstrate Your Manly Bravery to Them CHAPTER FIVE Prove to Your 'Attractee' that You are Not Still Dependent on Your Mother * * * PART TWO: "Writing Books that Won't Get Blue Meanie Reviews" Table of Contents -- CHAPTER ONE Why People Write Bad Book Reviews Even When They're Not Mad at Anyone CHAPTER TWO Avoid Bad Reviews by Writing a Threatening Introduction CHAPTER THREE Format Your Book in Such a Way as to Stun Readers into Giving you Nothing but Good Reviews MY CONCLUSION * * * PART THREE: "Evolution Can't Be True Because I Don't Like Bananas" Table of Contents -- CHAPTER ONE The Importance of Bananas and Monkeys Among Evolutionists CHAPTER TWO The Theory of Evolution Makes Money for Scientists CHAPTER THREE My Interview with Bigfoot ("I'm Not a Missing Link" He Says ) CHAPTER FOUR If We're Animals We Shouldn't Have Morals In Conclusion: **The History Behind these Comedy/Satire Books**: While my largest base of book titles are on health disorder subjects, I also have a significant number of business-related titles published, as well as many on Christian Bible theology. Before I began publishing in any of these serious genres, which I do feel are my most important ones, I tried my hand at comedy via online articles I wrote in years previous (I created a few short stories during this period as well). Having kept these comedy pieces I wrote, in saved files after taking them offline, I decided to revive them by publishing them in eBook and paperback form. I did have to tweak them and edit them a bit but I managed to give them all that Percy P. III flavor. Of course as real the writer of them (James M. Lowrance), I think they're pretty funny and relatives who I shared them with, confirmed this evaluation -- so I decided to offer them to the world. With them being so different from my serious subject books, I assigned a pen name to them as well, being "Percyvelle Pennington the Third." He seems more like the guy who wrote them, than I do. Percy is a snide type guy and he is arrogant; traits that I hopefully never display in real life He does make his points known in his memoirs but in strangely comical ways. A "cheerful heart is a good medicine" according to the Holy Bible, and "laughter is the best medicine" according to Reader's Digest. My thoughts were, that if I could take a few serious or controversial subjects via my compiled articles and create a little comedy from them that makes people smile or laugh, it would be something worth publishing. With the debates going on within these subjects, between people expressing the pros and cons of them, it is my hope that I can lighten the rhetoric a bit by injecting some humor into them. These booklets ARE NOT intended to offend anyone and if you'll notice, I make fun of everyone in them, via my alter writing personality -- Percy P. III. It is my hope that readers find the medicine of laughter and cheer within the pages of them, so that they can escape the stressors of life for just a little while

Real life is the birthplace of the best stories. The tales related in Lines From the Times are drawn from real life. Lacking the length of a short story, these tales are pithy reflections on life as it is encountered by the author. From a little girl's conversation on a park bench, a grown man flying a kite in the church yard, a daughter's attempts to rein in an indulgent grandfather, a homeless man or a drug-influenced woman seeking direction, an adventure getting children off to school, strangers passed along life's journey, all combine to entertain and delight. These are not sermons by any means, but hey are parables of life where one finds a lesson taught, a prejudice challenged or a value uplifted. Lines From the Times is a mirror held up to our age reflecting our beauty and our blemishes. There's love in these pages; there's sadness for love not shown. There's acceptance here; there's rejection. We can find ourselves tucked inside the stories, ourselves at our best and at our worse.