Combining his signature curmudgeonly humor with, as Newsweek put it, a "silly approach to upsetting topics," Tom Segura presents a series of personal stories packed with the crazy characters and strong opinions fans have come to know and love from his podcasts and standup. The essays in I'd Like to Play Alone, Please feature comedic tales from Tom's time on the road, his marriage, the trials and tribulations of parenting young children and, perhaps most memorably, his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, likes to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. It's enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. This book will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's central message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

Strictly for grown-ups! This saucy selection of puzzles puts the tease in brain-teasers, and makes a racy replacement for life's idle moments Put down your phone, tablet or smutty magazine and pick up this crude collection of conundrums and provocative puzzles. Whether you want to dive straight into the Bootylicious Bottoms Word Search, test your logic with a Raunchy Riddler, or even try your hand at the Sex Toys Sudoku, there are puzzles here to tickle a whole range of fancies. Inside you will find a variety of juicy puzzles, including these: Shuffle the letters of anagrams to identify seriously smutty lingo Pair up the matching icons in the playful picture puzzles Test your knowledge of everything erotic with a range of titillating trivia Join up the dot-to-dots to discover some sensual sex positions So, what are you waiting for? If you like the idea of puzzles that are a bit more naughty than they are nice, this is the perfect book for you.

After several years of writing newspaper columns, comments from readers caused me to realize that a published book of these columns might be welcomed by readers who wanted to read them again or give them as gifts. My first two collections, J'Ever Notice? and 'Zat Right? were well received. It is my wish that these stories will bring my readers the same nostalgic entertainment and humor, both of which are wonderfully healing. Let me tell you more country stories about old tractors and cars, farming, kids, storms, time, early radio programs, some old scary stories, teachers, cotton gins, old diaries, how things were one hundred years ago, hard doings, dry times, going from boom to bust, horses, dogs, trail drives, and wash pots, as well as some others about reunions, cemetery workings, going to church in the country, families and kinfolks

TEAR DOWN THAT WALL OF GUILT

If you are trying to raise a respectful and respectable American family and are embarrassed by the liberal media's filth and perversion you and your children are subjected to on a daily basis, remember one thing: Liberalism is at its core, licentious, morally degrading and abusive to family life. To stop the abuse you must embrace the truth: Conservatism conserves and protects family values that have made America the shining beacon of Christian family life.

To preserve the American family you must make a decision not merely to eschew liberalism and degradation but to champion conservatism and our traditional American values.

To do so you must first TEAR DOWN THAT WALL OF GUILT You must know you are guilty of nothing that may have happened to a Negro, Indian, Asian or Jew at any time in our recent or ancient past, and you must stop bowing at the silly altar of political correctness. You must regain your dignity, your individuality and your moral certitude. You must rise up and be counted as an American heart and soul, in spirit and purpose; willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to preserve America as it was founded to be and for which so many fought and died for it to be. Your children are counting on you. They will not survive as free Americans without your courage and your resolve. TEAR DOWN THAT WALL OF GUILT LET THE RECLAMATION OF AMERICA BEGIN

Author Paul Palmer first began idolizing highway patrolmen when he was a boy living in Gila Bend, Arizona. As the patrolmen stopped by to visit his father, Paul soon realized that these brave men were true heroes. He had no idea then that one day he would work with the same men he held in such high esteem. As he shares a chronological glimpse into the life and career of an Arizona patrolman, Paul begins with his first job in 1966 as a dispatcher in Holbrook, Arizona, where he jokes his best view of the town was in his rearview mirror. While providing amusing portrayals of the men and women he worked with, Paul relies on slightly exaggerated real-life experiences to depict the wonderful, wild, and wacky people who made up the Arizona Highway Patrol. Paul shares his experiences of the next 40 years, serving in both civilian and sworn capacities and how he developed lasting friendships with the heroes who put their lives on the line every day to ensure the safety of others. The Arizona Highway Patrol as I Disremember It provides an unforgettable look at the humorous side of law enforcement through the eyes of one of its own.

A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the American Cancer Society. Memorable Quotes is a compilation of ridiculous things people have been heard saying such as the title of volume one, "How do you make sense?" Each quote is accompanied by a short, humorous narrative. Memorable Quotes Volume One: How Do You Make Sense, has over 200 real quotes from real people; a short read that goes a long way. Follow us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/memorablequotes