In these candidly witty and poignant essays, comedienne and writer Julia Sweeney muses on the complex blessings of motherhood: deciding to adopt her daughter, a Chinese girl named Mulan ("After the movie?"); nannies (including the Chinese Pat); being adopted by a dog; and meeting Mr. Right through an email from a complete stranger who wrote, "Desperately Seeking Sweeney-in-Law." She recounts how she explained the facts of life to nine-year-old Mulan, a story that became a wildly popular TED talk and YouTube video. But no matter what the topic, Julia always writes with elegant precision, pinning her jokes with razor-sharp observations while articulating feelings that we all share.

"T Pot was born in a heavy fog at twilight on a gray ship crossing the international dateline traveling the direction of yesterday at the end of February on one of the leap years in the middle of the last century or so. He was born breech in no country to parents who may have adored him had they survived his birth instead of one day later falling happily tipsy backwards overboard." "A mind which flits aimlessly from one stray thing to another, while it's body is doing whatever, easily spots random interfucking thoughtons instapopping into novel wordimages. Before "mind projectors" all people relied on pencil drawing to record the crazy thoughts gamboling through their heads. Pencil means pensive and inexpensive or tail tip dipped in blood which eventually became pointed wood stick with a graphite-clay core. Technically, T Pot is one of billions of primitive people still employing pencils for prolonging the lives of their thoughts."

Caroline and her father Robert are looking to move on from her mother's death five years earlier. Her father has found a girlfriend, while she still suffers from mental breakdowns and episodes where she visually relives witnessing her mother's death. As it turns out, Caroline's father's new girlfriend has a son, Isaac, who takes a liking to her. Too much of a liking. The two realize they have a connection and Caroline is fearful of what will become of the relationship. She tries to resist him, but he convinces her that nothing will happen between their parents, and that it is a fling. So they keep their relationship a secret from their friends and family, waiting for their parents' fling to end. But will it? Will Caroline and Isaac be able to keep their relationship a secret? Will Caroline ever get over her mother's death? Find out about all the drama that unfolds in an unexpected teenage romance.

As a licensed social worker, Arnitia Walker has seen it all. She's met people from every walk of life-all trying to find their own way in this crazy world-but she's paid particular attention to the other sex. In Shake 'Em Up & They All Fall Out the Same Anitia offers up a humorous, tongue-in-cheek catalog of the various types of men she's known, including: Married - This guy is devoted to his wifey. He wears his wedding ring with pride. He has a true tan line on his ring finger because he never takes the darn ring off. He takes care of home, and his wife is his first priority. He would never dream of hurting her. Cheater - This guy couldn't be faithful if he was sitting in a church. He does not know the meaning of monogamy. To him, women are like a box of candy: soft, chewy, caramel, chocolate, smooth, fluffy, etc. He's just got to sample them all. He has to have a variety of women to meet all of his needs. Minute man - No, he's not the watch repairman. Need I say more? Filled with amusing descriptions of men, this book will shed new light on your past, current, and potential relationships. These men are your brothers, uncles, fathers, boyfriends, and husbands. As a woman, you've probably already encountered at least one man who's portrayed in this book-and if you haven't, hold on-he's probably just around the corner. For further information please feel free to email me: [email protected]

"Balance" tells the story of Christopher Ward and his battle with bipolar disorder. Ward retraces the steps of his journey from the straight-A student in high school to a young man who finds himself running away from home, landing in psychiatric wards and riding the waves of depression and mania for years at a time. In between the seriousness of describing these experiences, Ward mixes in some of his humorous thoughts on a variety of subjects, from religion and gun control to things he sees in everyday life. Literally true to its title, "Balance" provides light-hearted commentary to help offset the very serious recount of a man's struggle with bipolar disorder. The content of the book sometimes rides the waves itself as Ward's sense of humor and humility come together, or in some cases, seem to clash together.

This book is "co-authored" by eighteen dogs, all of whom have lived with the author at one time or another. The dogs lend a unique perspective into their behaviors, adventures, illnesses, accidents and humorus episodes. Animal lovers will appreciate their mindset.

Learn how to enjoy life more.
Learn how to win every fight.
Learn how to get more sex...need I say more?
Whether you're single, starting a relationship or wanting to revitalize the one you already have, Emotional Sex is like a tour guide designed to help you discover wisdom and valuable information about yourself, your partner and your relationship in order to make it GREAT

"Three weeks have passed since I read Emotional Sex and our relationship keeps getting better and better Thank you for the tools, the stories, the questions, the perspective...I can't thank you enough
C.O. Greenville, SC

"Chad has a way of explaining how men and women work and what they need - in a humorous, sometimes blunt - yet powerful way. His words, examples, and questions cut through all the stories from my past that were hindering my relationship in the present." J.W. Kitchener, ON

Questions You're Not Supposed to Ask provides enlightenment on life's taboo subjects, with a healthy dose of laughter thrown in for good measure. The aim of the book is to arm the ordinary person with the sort of knowledge that is jealously guarded by the Powers That Be and so release the individual from the chains of ignorance. Some of the questions refer to bodily functions (Why is sex so much fun?), some debunk government falsehoods (Why do we pay tax?) while others delve into the supernatural (Is there more to life than meets the eye?) and others simply explain how things operate (What is physics?). Loads of fascinating information and a highly entertaining read from start to finish.

Fun about This Book If you are a prim and proper lady (and you know who you are), can't you find a book on history or religion? This book was written for "bad ass girls" of all ages. These are women who can sometimes get a little rowdy with their girlfriends (and you know who you are). If you are an English major, you need to know I am a comic story teller. You can expect fun and funny life stories, not award winning wonderful. If you are a man, what the Hell are you thinking? This book contains more delicate information that you can process. You are warned The rest of you hold on to your panties as you read interesting, inspiring and fun life stories that will have you LAUGHING OUT LOUD.

This poetry book is a compilation of my life experience as a child growing up in the depression days of the early 1900's and beyond. I lived with my parents and a talented demanding brother, in a modest two story home on a street dominated by churches, logically named Church Street. I've included the most popular poetry from my writings and pray the reader will connect to my remembrance of the past. My diverse poetry will take you thru my childhood experiences, nightmares and all, from an early age in the forties when I played drums five nights each week of the summer at Mickey's Thirst Parlor in Pennsylvania. Some of my poetry is humorous, some to make a point, some dealing with good and bad domestic/international history, and some about religious belief, philosophy, love and miscellaneous things. Readers are sure to enjoy this book. This book is dedicated to Nancy, my wife, love and confidante, and written for our daughters Paula & Becky, and grandsons Chris & Matt. john r rossbacherr

Prepare yourself for a journey through the world of Patton Oswalt, one of the most creative, insightful, and hysterical voices on the entertain-ment scene today. Widely known for his roles in the films "Big Fan "and "Ratatouille, "as well as the television hit "The King of Queens, "Patton Oswalt--a staple of Comedy Central--has been amusing audiences for decades. Now, with "Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, "he offers a fascinating look into his most unusual, and lovable, mindscape.
Oswalt combines memoir with uproarious humor, from snow forts to Dungeons & Dragons to gifts from Grandma that had to be explained. He remem-bers his teen summers spent working in a movie Cineplex and his early years doing stand-up. Readers are also treated to several graphic elements, includ-ing a vampire tale for the rest of us and some greeting cards with a special touch. Then there's the book's centerpiece, which posits that before all young creative minds have anything to write about, they will home in on one of three story lines: zom-bies, spaceships, or wastelands.
Oswalt chose wastelands, and ever since he has been mining our society's wasteland for perversion and excess, pop culture and fatty foods, indie rock and single-malt scotch. "Zombie Spaceship Wasteland "is an inventive account of the evolution of Patton Oswalt's wildly insightful worldview, sure to indulge his legion of fans and lure many new admirers to his very entertaining "wasteland."